Living in Max's Shadow
by MyNameIsCAL
Summary: Max died 5 yrs ago. The flock is moving on. The world no longer needs to be saved. Everything that was against the flock seemed to disappear. But Fang isn't ready to move on and feels very alone. Everyday is a struggle. He doesn't believe max is dead.
1. Chapter 1

**Living in Max's Shadow-Chapter 1**

By MyNameIsCAL

**Disclaimer: As you know, the flock (Fang, Max, Iggy, Nudge, Angel, and Gazzy) all belong to James Patterson, along with all the other Maximum Ride characters (Dr. Martinez, Ella, etc.). I thank James Patterson very much for his wonderful series of books.**

---Fang's POV---

Do you know what it's like? Waking up alone? Knowing that the only person that understood you had been swept away by death? Well, I guess I do. Unfortunately, I know. I've seen too much, I know too much, than any of you should know. If you went through the things that I did, you wouldn't survive, but at least you'd understand. I've searched for understanding, but I haven't found it. Most people say I'm crazy, and hell, maybe I am, but I get by. Yes, I get by without you Max.

Most of the time.

I'm living out of Iggy's apartment, which is soon to be mine. Good ol' Iggy is getting himself hitched. Well, I'll be nice. He and Ella have been going steady for years. It's about time they settle down. I'm set to be the best man and right now I look like crap. The wedding is in a week. I haven't gotten anything together. No speech, no bachelor party, and no present for the happy couple. Some best man I am, huh?

"Fang, get up!" I hear Iggy yell from the other side of my door.

I sit up and swing my legs to the side of the bed. It's almost noon. Damn. "Yeah, I'm up, Ig!"

After a moment, I stand up. I feel older than I am. Than I'm supposed to be. I stretch and walk to the door. It takes a lot of effort to get up every morning. I am not a motivated person, if you can't tell.

"Good morning," Ella smiles.

She's been too nice to me. I come home drunk half the time and she still lets me in. I'll never understand Ella. I mumble, "Good morning."

Iggy is sitting at the table. Ella moves to him and kisses him on the forehead. I look away and out the window. It's raining. Now I remember. It's Max's death anniversary, if that's what you want to call it. Morbid? Yes, I know.

* * *

--Arizona, Five Years Ago--

It's not supposed to rain in the desert, but it does anyway, just for today. Max is in a coffin. We haven't bothered with church. It'll be our private ceremony. Iggy, Ella, Nudge, Gazzy, and Angel stand around. Dr. Martinez is here too. She tries to smile at me, but I pretend I don't see her. Iggy has Nudge, Gazzy has Angel, and Ella has her mom. That doesn't leave me anyone. I'm supposed to be the strong one. I stand alone, waiting for Max's coffin to be lowered.

"Fang, would you like to say a few things?" Dr. M asks.

I took a deep breath and began to speak. I had a feeling this was coming. "You know, Max, we all started out in cages. We were young and we were scared. But we had each other. We always had each other. And we went through so much together, but in the end, you risked your life for us. Max, you saved us all. You risked everything to save us. And I know we meant the world to you. This is our last goodbye, Max. And all I wanted to say was…"

* * *

"…I love you, Max." I mutter to myself. I still remember that speech.

"Pardon?" Ella questions.

Iggy shakes his head. It's not the first time I've said things like that, talking to myself. I guess he was the only one who ever looked after me once Max was gone. Up until her death, I never realized Max looked after me so much.

"Are you coming with me today?" I ask them.

"Coming where?" Ella is still confused.

I let out a sigh. "I'm going to the cemetery. Are you coming?"

It takes them a minute to process. And then Ella nods. Iggy agrees of course.

* * *

We pull up to the cemetery. Ella won't let me drive. She's afraid I've been drinking again, but I try to behave myself, for Max's sake. It's still raining. I clutch my roses and get out of the car, ignoring Ella's offer of an umbrella. She leaves me be and lets me go.

"Well, Max," I say, speaking to her tombstone. "Five years without you. Iggy's getting married now. I'd bet you'd love to see that. Nudge is going to college. Gazzy and Iggy have been involved in professional pyrotechnics."

The rain beings to pour harder and I kneel down. "But I miss you so much, Max. I think about you, all the time. I wish I had done more to try to save you. But I failed you, Max. I failed you."

I hear Ella and Iggy come out of the car. I have to stop talking to myself soon. "And I always told myself that I wanted to marry you, Max. I wasn't ever going to let you go, except you let go of yourself, and left me here, wondering how you slipped away so easily."

After I place the flowers on the ground, I rise up and step back, now silent. Ella puts her hand on my shoulder and tries to fit me under the umbrella with Fang.

"She loved you too," Ella says to me.

I sigh. "Yeah, I know."

Ella squeezes my shoulder and drops her hand. I feel that I've spent enough time here. "Can we go now?"

"Of course." Ella lets me lead us to the car and then we drive off.

PAGE BREAK!

I sit at a bar. Iggy sits on one side of me and Ella on the other. They shouldn't have to look after me like this, so I order something light, and start with a beer. Ella gets a soda and Iggy orders wine. We sit there, not talking for a while.

And then Iggy speaks. "I'm sorry, Fang."

"Why?" I don't understand.

Iggy shakes his head. "You're not the only one who still feels guilty, Fang. I still think about her too."

He takes a sip of his wine. I downed all my beer. "Let's go home."

* * *

I'm sitting on the couch, watching the news. Ella is asleep, curled up against Iggy. It looks like he's staring at the TV, but his eyes are unfocused. He can't see anyway, but still has the ability to pretend to look at things. Or maybe it wasn't that. Maybe it was just easier to look in the direction of the thing you were listening to.

"Do you still have those dreams, Fang? The ones about Max's death?" Iggy's eyes shift to me.

I nod and then remember he can't see. "Yes."

"Well, if you ever want to talk…" Iggy trails off. He's always telling me this.

"I know."


	2. Chapter 2

**Living in Max's Shadow-Chapter 2**

By MyNameIsCAL

There's an early knock on the door. I stir from the couch and get up to open it. It's only 8 o'clock in the morning. Who would be here this early?

I open the door and Angel stands there with Gazzy. I almost forgot about Angel. She's the youngest one and she isn't exactly and adult yet. Well, neither was Gazzy, but he looked after her. Sometimes Gazzy would bring Angel here to be looked after. Especially if he had a lot of work to do that week and it must have been the start of one of those weeks.

"You smell like alcohol," Angel comments with a frown.

I suddenly feel lightheaded. I must be hungover from all the beer last night.

"Where's Iggy?" Gazzy asks.

After a moment, I step aside from the doorway and let them in. I go to Iggy and Ella's room and knock on their door. After a few seconds, Ella appears with Iggy trailing behind.

"Angel," Iggy smiles first. I wish I knew how he could identify people like that.

"Hello," Ella says.

They lead us to the couch and I quickly clear all the beer bottles and toss them into the kitchen sink, clumsily. Angel gives me a disapproving look when I return and sit down next to her. Iggy and Gazzy are talking about Gazzy's latest movie. Some big action thriller.

"Why do you drink?" Angel asks me.

I shrug. "Why does it matter? Can't you read my mind?"

Angel falls silent for a moment. "You're so difficult."

I don't say anything and we sit there, continuing to listen to Gazzy, Iggy, and Ella. Gazzy is off to Canada for a week to set up special effects for some movie.

"Hopefully I won't have to clean up all the green screen stuff until we get back to the studio in LA," Gazzy adds. "It's a lot. But I'll be back on Wednesday because of the wedding."

"Well, Fang can look after her if we need to places for wedding preparations," Ella offers hesitantly.

I sit up straight. "I promise, no drinking."

This seems to make Gazzy happy and Angel finally gives me a satisfying look. They know I wouldn't drink around Angel. I've been good with that, at least.

"Well, I have to go catch my flight," Gazzy sighs. We all hated airplanes, but Gazzy's job required that so he could ride with the actors and directors, and cut deals.

Gazzy stands and Angel does too. She hugs him and says, "Be careful."

Smiling, Gazzy rustles Angel's hair. "Don't worry. Blowing up things for a living is very safe."

He's joking, but Angel still sticks her tongue out at him. She's still such a child. Unlike the rest of us who all seemed like adults. But even Angel wasn't innocent anymore. We had all lost innocence a long time ago.

* * *

I found some Advil in the medicine cabinet and took two to try to relieve my headache. Today I had to go get fitted for my tuxedo. Ella was dropping me off. I was supposed to watch after Angel too. Iggy was staying home, working on vows he told me. Ella had to go get her dress altered.

"Why can't you take Angel?" I protest.

Ella frowns. "Because I need someone to look after you."

That hurts me a little, but I get out of the car and head into the tux shop without looking back. Angel follows behind me. I can hear Ella drive off.

"Hello, sir." A man with _manager_ on his nametag approaches me. I tell him I need a tux. Nothing fancy, just traditional black and white.

"Are you getting married, sir?" the manager asks.

I can see Angel frown in the mirror. The question seems to drive a hole through my heart.

"No," I answer.

"Ah, so then you must be the best man?" the manager grins.

I nod.

Once the tux is fitted for me, we pay and I arrange to pick it up on Friday.

"Can we get something to eat?" Angel questions. "I'm hungry."

I'll try to be nice. "Sure, anything you want."

She raises and eyebrow. "Well there's a Friday's on the corner."

I follow her. We get a table for two.

"Have you seen Nudge lately?" Angel asks.

I shake my head.

"I miss her."

"I miss her too. We'll see her at the wedding." I really missed being together with everyone.

I stare at my menu to make myself busy. Angel can read my thoughts. She doesn't really need to ask me anything. The waiter comes and we both order burgers.

"Would you like something to drink?" the waiter asks.

I want to ask for a beer badly, but I know Angel wouldn't approve. I scan the drink menu, but decide that water is free so I ask for that. Angel orders a soda.

"You're not happy." Angel is reading my thoughts.

"I'll never be happy," I reply.

"She's gone, Fang. You have to accept it," Angel sighs.

I shake my head. "You all think she's dead, but she isn't. Itex only disappeared because they got what they wanted. They're going to come after us again."

"No, Fang. You're wrong. You want Max to still be alive," Angel counters.

She's partly right. But she's also wrong. "We never saw her die. We didn't watch them put Max in the coffin. Itex is playing tricks on us. Angel, how can you not see that?!"

Angel looks defeated, but only because she thinks I'm insane. "Alright, Fang. You can't be argued with just forget it."

She stares at me for a moment, her eyes meeting mine, as if she trying to see through everything I'm thinking. My thoughts are jumbled and confusing. To her, they don't make sense. She's trying to figure me out.

"But why do you feel so alone?" Angel's gaze drops to her hands. "Why do you torture yourself?"

That I can answer. "Because I'll never find anyone like Max. She was it and I lost her."

"We lost her too," Angel says.

"But I loved her. I was _in_ love with her," I add.

She nods. That, at the very least, makes some sense to her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Living in Max's Shadow-Chapter 3**

By MyNameIsCAL

"How do I look?" Iggy asks.

"Wonderful. Really great, Ella's gonna love you even more," I tell him.

His grin stretches across his face, almost from ear to ear. This day is going to be the happiness day of his life, but the saddest of mine. I need to get to the bar already, but the wedding doesn't start for another hour. Besides drinking myself away, my other goal was to avoid Angel so she couldn't read my thoughts.

The wedding ceremony was going to be small. It was just going to be the flock, Ella, Dr. Martinez, and some other close friends of Ella's and Iggy's. Then there were a couple directors and actors too. The reception was where it would get big. The rich and the famous would be there. Iggy even hired security to keep the paparazzi out. There was going to be everyone from famous directors to low key writers that didn't even get the credit for what they did.

"I bet you look great too," Iggy blurts out, his pales eyes glowing almost.

"Thanks, Ig." I know he means well, but I don't feel like taking compliments.

* * *

Everyone arrives for the ceremony promptly. I take my place at the altar with Iggy. He stands, looking anxious. I felt bad, he wouldn't ever get to see Ella walk down the aisle. All he could do was listen. But I guess it was better than nothing. Something was always better than nothing.

And then the music starts, and Ella appears. Dr. M is there, ready to walk down the aisle. I realize there is no maid of honor. Iggy is smiling, even though he cannot see anything. I'm trying to look happy. I wonder if it's working. Ella's eyes meet mine and she gives me an encouraging look. Iggy and Ella's smiles must be contagious because I try my best to put a real one on. At least now, it is half genuine.

* * *

It's the reception dinner now. The night is only starting. I've only had two beers so far. I need to get to the bar after dinner. I sit to Iggy's left. Ella is at his right, and an empty chair next to her. It's speech time, to the hundreds of people in the dining hall which some famous friend of Iggy's managed to book for free.

"Well, good evening, All," Ella clears her throat. "I just wanted to thank you for coming. As you know, today is a very special day. For those of you who did not attend the ceremony, I did not choose a maid of honor. The reason is because my half sister, and a dear friend to Fang, died a little over five years ago, saving a lot of lives. Out of respect, and debt, I leave that spot to her. She is here with us in spirit. I just wanted to take a moment to say something."

I feel like crying suddenly. Gazzy is sitting next to me. He takes in a breath. I feel his gaze, but I avoid looking at him and watch Iggy stand.

"In fact, if it weren't for Max, I wouldn't have met Ella. I wouldn't be anywhere without Max. She saved me, and Fang, and Gaz, and Angel, and Nudge," Iggy says, his voice sounding heavy. "Weddings are meant to be joyous, and this day, will also be in Max's honor. And joyous for her. I owe a lot to Max. So raise your glasses and here's to Max and life."

Everyone raises their glasses. I have the urge to down all my wine at once, but I don't. It's my turn to speak. Iggy motions to me, explaining that I've known Max the best.

"Well…" I clear my throat. The words are stuck there, struggling to come out. "Max was really something special. And she was my best friend. I loved her. I still do. I was in love with her too. And death took her away." I think I can't go on, but then I do. "And she would have been really happy for Iggy and Ella today. When Max died, Iggy was always there for me. He gave me shelter, and food, and the understanding beyond what I could ask for.

"Iggy, I know you can't see, but you really do have a beautiful wife. And you deserve her. And Ella, you're really like to have a guy like him. I know that whatever lays ahead for you two, you'll get through it together. Because I know that the love between you two is strong. So, congratulations, and thank you."

I sit down, feeling lightheaded. Gazzy gives me a smile. "You did good, Fang."

Iggy nods. "Thanks, Fang."

Dinner proceeds and I fall silent. I suddenly felt very alone.

* * *

Iggy and Ella are having their first dance. For being blind, Iggy was pretty graceful on the dance floor. Then again, I recall that they also took lessons for ballroom dancing. I recognize the song, but I can't remember the title. Once they finish, everyone claps. Then the floor fills with the other guests. I begin to head to the bar, but Ella stops me.

"Fang," she calls. "Fang!"

I turn to her, reluctant. "Yes, Ella?"

"Dance with me," she says.

I stare at her blankly.

"Because that would make Max happy," she adds.

She takes me by the hand and leads me to the dance floor, placing my hands wherever they belong. I let her lead because otherwise I would have tripped and made a fool of myself. Ella smiles at me. And for a while, I get used to shuffling around in one spot. The song seems to go on forever, and once it ends, I drop my hands to my side.

I realize that I really appreciated what Ella did. "Thank you."

She takes Iggy by the hand. "You're welcome."

* * *

I'm sitting at the bar, waiting for the bartender to give me my third whiskey. A picture of Max and me that Dr. M took is propped up against my empty glass. Nudge appears next to me and looks at it. I can smell her perfume and it makes me feel dizzy.

"You still miss her a lot," she observes.

I nod, still looking at the picture. My arm is around her, and for once, I'm smiling. Which makes Max look even happier in the picture. And that makes me sad.

"It'll be ok, Fang," Nudge sighs. I bet she's been talking to Angel.

The bartender places another whiskey in front of me and I down it in one gulp. Nudge looks disappointed. I take the picture and put it back in my wallet.

Part of me can't believe Iggy and Ella really got married. I remember, in the beginning, after Max had died, Ella had pulled Iggy through it. In return, Iggy was trying to help me. But now that I thought about it, the rest of the flock had moved on. I hadn't done anything with my life since Max died. I didn't have a job, I didn't have a girlfriend, and I didn't do anything that was meaningful. Life was supposed to have meaning, yet I saw none in mine.

"What do you think of all of this?" I question, trying to divert my thoughts.

Nudge shrugs. "If Iggy's happy, then I won't protest."

I always knew Nudge had a thing for Iggy. I'm sure today put a small hole through her heart. She glances over at Iggy, with disdain almost.

"I always wanted to marry Max," I say quietly. I've only admitted that to Iggy.

"I always suspected that." She's not stupid. "I'm sorry, Fang."

I wipe my eyes, feeling tears welling up. We sit there in silence for the rest of the night, ordering drink after drink. We get cut off after a while and I realize I'm too drunk to even stand up. Gazzy came around after a while to collect me. He, Angel, and Nudge dragged me to my room. Iggy and Ella's flight doesn't leave til tomorrow, so they are outside their room across from mine.

"You're drunk," Iggy frowns.

"I know," I slur. Gazzy is holding me by the arm.

Iggy lets out a sigh. "Get some sleep. I'll see you in a week. Please keep it together."

I salute him mockingly. "Sure, Captain!"

Gazzy squeezes my arm.

"Sorry," I apologize.

"It's fine. Now goodnight, Fang," Iggy opens my door for me and Gazzy escorts me in.


	4. Chapter 4

**Living in Max's Shadow-Chapter 4**

By MyNameIsCAL

I wake up in my tuxedo. Gazzy is asleep on the couch, dressed in a t-shirt and shorts. His hair is sticking out in twenty different directions. He must have slept in here. Suddenly, I feel guilty. The room around me is spinning. I hate the feeling of being hungover, but I guess it only serves me right. After I pull myself together, I stumble out of bed and into the bathroom. At least I never get nauseous.

I take off the tux and strip to my boxers and shirt before splashing some water into my face. There was no point in destroying it because eventually I'd need another one. Mind as well reuse, right? I looked like crap in the mirror. And I needed a shave. But that would have to wait. After a five minute shower, I stagger back to bed and fall back asleep without pulling the covers over me.

Gazzy wakes me up around 11. It's time to check out. I pull all my stuff together and pull some pants on. He's driving me back to the apartment and spending the night before taking Nudge back to college.

"You look terrible," Nudge comments as I climb into the car.

I shrug. "I know."

I don't say anything else, and no one else does either, so the start of the car ride is silent. At least I didn't smell like beer.

* * *

"Fang, wake up."

I sit up all the way and hit my head on the ceiling of the car. I swear and slouch back down.

"We're stopping at McDonalds. Want anything?" Gazzy asks.

"Burger, fries, a Coke," I answer before leaning my head against the window. "Do you have any Advil?"

I hear Nudge dig around in her purse and pull one out. It's a Coach purse. She hands me the bottle of Advil and I pour three out.

"You can't take three," she protests.

I sigh and put two back, figuring one would probably be fine.

"Are you trying to kill yourself?!" Nudge exclaims taking the container back.

I shrug and think _maybe._

"Fang!" Angel shrieks.

"What?" Gazzy sounds like he's groaning. We're pulling into the drive through.

"I was kidding, Angel," I frown.

It takes a minute for her to respond. "You better be."

She must have been talking to Gazzy telepathically because he says, "He's still drunk. Just ignore him."

Speaking of being drunk, I need another drink. I dig into my coat pocket and pull out a flask. There's a little bit of whiskey left. I down the Advil with that.

"He is trying to kill himself!" Nudge accuses. "You can't take that with alcohol."

This time, Angel doesn't protest. "He'll be fine. He does that half the time."

"No wonder you never get over being drunk," Nudge shakes her head.

* * *

We enter the apartment around 6PM. It's strange without Iggy and Ella. They're flying off to Italy. I'm surprised Ella could get Iggy on a plane.

"This is your place, Fang? It's too clean," Nudge tells me.

"This is Iggy and Ella's apartment," I grumble. "But I try to keep it clean for them."

I show her the guest bedroom. Angel and Gazzy are sleeping on the couches and I get my room. It's a chilly night, but I still strip to my boxers and climb in bed. The others can eat, but I'm not hungry.

* * *

I get up early the next morning to see Nudge, Gazzy, and Angel off. It's sad to see them all go at once.

"I'll be back for Christmas." Nudge gives me a hug. "Behave yourself, Fang."

"I'll try." I awkwardly hug her back.

Then she's getting in the car and Gazzy is driving away. I watch them go until they turn around the corner and then I can't see them anymore. I've got a lonely week ahead of me.

* * *

It's the third day I've had alone. So far, I've managed not to waste myself. It's going to be December in a few days. Sometimes I wished it snowed in Arizona. I always thought of moving out to New York City, but I could never move away. Max was holding me back, so here I stayed.

The phone rang. I didn't recognize the number. "Hello?"

"Hi, I'm Martin Banks. I'm the realtor Ella Martinez hired. With whom am I speaking?"

I suddenly realize I don't want Iggy and Ella to go. "A roommate."

"Will you tell them I called?"

"Of course." But I won't.

* * *

The apartment is a block away from the bar I'm at. It's almost midnight and closing time. Usually, I'm the last person there. The bartender hands me a whiskey and tells me that's my last drink of the night. I put some cash on the counter and add a few extra bucks for tip.

"Thanks, mister," he says. "Goodnight."

"Night." I swig the shot glass and feel the whiskery burn in my throat.

It takes a minute for me to stand up. Iggy should be getting home soon. I survived the one week and I figured one trip to the bar wouldn't hurt.

"Do you want a taxi? I'll call you one," the bartender offers. I haven't bothered to learn his name.

I shut my eyes for a moment and then watch everything stabilize around me. "Nope, I'll walk home, thanks."

He shrugs and waits for me to go out before locking the door. I stay on this side of the street, not wanting to cross until I reached the corner across from the apartment. It's dark, and chilly, as the desert should be at night. Winter cooled things down, but not by a lot. I realized I was shaking when I got to the corner. My head was hurting again. I thought about Advil, but decided that I really was killing myself.

I step onto the road. A car honks at me and I take a step back. Asshole. His lights should be on. After resisting the urge to fly after the driver who honked at me, I begin to cross again. Suddenly I feel like things are getting dark. What I don't feel is the car that hits me. By then, I've already passed out from alcohol.


	5. Chapter 5

**Living in Max's Shadow-Chapter 5**

By MyNameIsCAL

I wake up in the back of a car. Someone is wiping my face.

"Fang! You idiot!" Iggy shouts at me when I attempt to sit up.

My head spins and I can barely raise my head. I'm confused.

"Ella freaking hit you! We almost killed you!" Iggy continues. "Are you out of your fucking mind?! Jesus, we gotta get you to a hospital."

"No…Just take me home," I coughed. I taste blood. "Please."

Iggy sighs. "Ella, go home. There's no point in dealing with the police."

I pass out again.

* * *

I wake up on the couch the next morning. My right leg is screaming in pain. I'm still in my clothes from last night, which are now torn and dirtied with dry blood. Iggy is on the other couch, sleeping with iPod in hand. Sitting up makes the room swim so I lie back down. Guilt suddenly swipes through me and I regret going to the bar and making Iggy come home to me.

"You look like shit."

I look up to see Gazzy standing over me. I don't say anything.

"Damnit, Fang," Gazzy breaths out. "Pull yourself together, man."

I remain silent.

"I got a buddy that's gonna check you out. Once Iggy and Ella wake up, we'll take you."

"Angel?" I ask.

Gazzy sits on the floor, leaning against the couch. "Yeah, she's here. You disappoint her."

"I disappoint everyone," I manage to say. "Even myself."

* * *

Gazzy's friend tells me that I've cracked my leg after an x-ray. The only thing he does is puts it in a splint, gives me a crutch, and tells me not to put pressure on it. I'm supposed to come back in a week, but I have a feeling I won't be coming back. After that, Gazzy takes me back to the apartment. I'm stuck on the couch now, watching the news.

Iggy sits down on the couch across from me. He looks worn out. I'm waiting for him to yell, but he doesn't. "Fang, I know you didn't mean to do any of this."

I stare at the ceiling. Why should he be nice to me?

"And I forgive you, as a friend, as family." Iggy shifts in his seat. "Because forgiving you will always be easier."

I don't know what to say to him.

"I just don't understand why you have to do this. You need to talk to me, Fang."

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

I feel like crying. "I'll never get over Max."

Iggy falls silent. Even he doesn't know what to say to that. He speaks slowly when he does reply, still unsure. "I don't think any of us will."

* * *

The pain wakes me from my nap before dinner. I ignore the urge to ask Iggy for a beer when he serves me dinner with a Coke. Ella was always lucky she married someone that could cook. The others eat at the table. Neither Ella or Angel are on speaking terms with me. Even Iggy is wary of talking to me around them. I deserve it, so knowing that doesn't hurt as much.

"How's the pain?" he asks quietly.

It's manageable for now. "Fine."

Iggy nods and retreats to the table. They talk in hushed tones about me, but I try not to listen because in the end, everyone comes around. Even Ella and Angel can't hold a grudge against me that long. The only person not talking about me is Iggy. I can almost tell that he'd rather have a nice dinner discussing something else. He just got married and it's like I've ruined the good feeling already.

I finish eating, drain the Coke, and place the tray on the table. There's still some food left but I'm no longer hungry. Don't you hate guilt? It eats you up from the inside out. Curiosity got the best of me and now I'm listening to the dinner conversation.

"He's not stable," Ella says.

"Obviously," Gazzy scoffs. "But we can't leave him on his own. You know he needs us."

"I now," Ella sighs.

Angel comes in now. "You know he didn't mean to ruin things."

I think Angel is reading my mind.

Ella sounds defeated. She's exasperated, but not angry. Ella was never the one to do that. "Iggy, what do you want to do with him."

Iggy might be my savior. "It's my job to look after him, Ella."

"Alright then." But I know Ella understands what Iggy means.

* * *

I limp to the bathroom. It's been a week since Ella has hit me with the car. For the most part, I've been forgiven. Gazzy and Angel have left for now. Right now, it's time to sober up. We're heading to Dr. Martinez's house for Christmas. I don't want to go, but I will because that's what Max would have wanted. Even when people are gone, it's funny how we find ways to still do things for them.

Today is the first time I've had a good look at myself in the mirror. My finger runs across my face. It's been a while since I've shaved. I search for the razor and find it on the side of the sink. The shaving cream is cool on my face. At first, the razor has a hard time moving, but I keep going and eventually it feels like it's gliding over my face. I splash my face when I'm done. For once, I look presentable to the outside world.

Breakfast is cooking in the kitchen. I can smell it, Iggy's infamous omelets. I always thought Iggy should be a chef, but the whole being blind thing, well I guess it didn't work out. My thoughts distract me so much that I don't realize that I've walked into the kitchen.

"Morning," Iggy mutters as he reaches for a plate.

"Want some coffee?" Ella is speaking to me again.

"Yeah, thanks."

"Omelet?" Iggy questions.

"No, thanks."

I know neither of them approve of my not eating, but I ignore them. For now, coffee is fine. Iggy takes a seat and Ella cuts him half of the omelet. They eat and I sit, sipping my coffee.

"The realtor called when you were in Italy," I blurt out.

Ella looks up from her food. "We know."

Iggy finishes swallowing. "We're not going to look for a house."

"Why not?" I thought they couldn't wait to get away from me.

"Well, we'll look for a house eventually. But you're coming with us. I'm not leaving you here alone," Iggy sighs.

I don't know what to say.

"Fang, you'll always be family to us," Ella adds on. "We know you don't want to be alone."

Damn, Angel. I hate your mind reading powers, but at least I'm getting what I want.

"Are you sure?" I ask, almost anxiously.

Iggy nods. "Of course."


	6. Chapter 6

**Living in Max's Shadow-Chapter 6**

By MyNameIsCAL

Iggy is going to Hollywood to help Gazzy with finishing up some pyrotechnics for another action movie. Ella and I are sitting on the couches in the TV room. My leg is still a little sore, but for the most part, it feels ok. Mostly, it's just me wanting to suffer that makes it feel worse.

We're watching nothing in particular. Christmas was only a week away now. I didn't have any presents to give. Ella and I were supposed to go to the mall soon, but somehow, we ended up on the couches. Too tired to go anywhere.

"Why'd you dance with me?" My thoughts are speaking for themselves.

She stops on CNN. "Because Iggy told me that we had to get you to dance at least once. He said you'd like that."

I guess Iggy ended up being right. Even though Ella wasn't Max, being out there even for those few minutes helped clear my mind. At least for a while.

"I just wanted to say thank you," I finally admit.

She nods and glances at the clock. "Let's go to the mall now."

And then we're off to the car.

* * *

I don't know what to buy for anyone. Ella already had a list of things she wanted to buy for people. I wandered the aisles of store after store, not really knowing what I was looking for. Honestly, I felt embarrassed to ask Ella for help. She had helped me so much already. To me, it felt wrong to ask for more. I would never be able to repay my debts to her and Iggy.

"I know you want to ask me for help," she says, interrupting my thoughts. "I can tell."

I guess you don't have to be Angel to understand what people are feeling, so I nod slowly.

"It's ok, really, Fang. All you have to do is ask. I don't mind." Ella sounds so sincere about everything she says to me and it makes me wish I would have treated her better.

It doesn't take her long to help me pick out gifts. I'm pretty sure she had a whole other list written out just for me. As if she knew I had no idea what I was doing. And she was right if she did.

What I don't tell Ella is that I'm finally running low on money. A few years ago, I had worked for an online website, writing reviews for movies, books, and other miscellaneous things. But then I started drinking, and it was over after I didn't make a couple of deadlines. Ella and Iggy had been pretty generous over the years. They didn't let me pay for food, or help pay for rent. They were like parents, paying for the main necessities and even some other things I really didn't need.

I wasted a lot of my money on alcohol. Even though Iggy bought me beers, I still bought other stuff. Whiskey and vodka. There was a stash somewhere in my room. I kept it hidden. That's one thing they didn't need to know about.

We're now approaching the register. I've spent nearly all my money now on a new iPod for Iggy and a designer bag for Nudge. For Ella, I got her a laptop so she could have her own. Even though Iggy was blind, he still managed to use his own laptop very effectively. I was about to max out my debit card.

In hand, I had a book for Gazzy. The history of special effects. The last gift was for Angel. I got her a charm bracelet with angel wings and a halo on it. The cashier frowned after scanning my card.

"Sir, you don't have enough money," he retorts.

I sigh. "How much more do I need?"

"Another fifty dollars," he answers.

I pull out two twenties, one five, four singles, and a lot of coins. Impatiently, the cashier counts it and nods. My things are bagged and Ella leads us out of the store.

"Fang, why didn't you tell me that you didn't have a lot of money?" Ella questions me.

Embarrassment, along with guilt, sets in again. I gulp. "Because I wanted to be able to pay for all the gifts myself. Or they won't be special."

The answer satisfies her, but she still adds on. "But if you ever need anything else. Don't worry we can get if for you."

I sigh and don't say anthing.

* * *

I'm buttoning up my shirt after shaving. It's time to head to Dr. M's house. Ella, Iggy, and I had wrapped the gifts last night while watching one of the free DVDs Iggy got from Hollywood. Well, Iggy was listening, not watching, but you get the point. Those gifts were now packed in the car, waiting to be put under the Christmas tree at Mr. M's house.

Sometimes I felt like I couldn't face her, even though she had forgiven me numerous times. The fact that she still accepted us made me feel more responsible for Max's death. Then again, Dr. M had given up Max in the first place. It made me wonder, but I knew that Dr. M loved Max with all her heart.

"You look great, Fang," Ella tells me. "Are you ready to go?"

I nod. My things are in the car already. I grab a pillow off my bed. We had to wake up early to make it to Dr. M's house and I was still exhausted from being up late last night. Ella led us out of the house, taking Iggy's hand. Then we were off.

* * *

Ella is driving, obviously. A couple years ago, I had a car. But I sold it to get some money. Actually, I sold it out of desperation to get some alcohol. Ella and Iggy had frowned upon that since they had gotten me that car. Every once in a while, Iggy and Ella will use it against me. Especially when I get way out of line. I'm like that rebellious teenager that never learns with an awful temper.

"You aren't going to lecture me?" I question them.

"Only if you want us to," Iggy remarks. "I figured you usually behave yourself around Mom."

I nod. He calls her Mom. He's been calling her Mom for years. Everyone else did. Angel, Gazzy, and even Nudge called her that. She had taken us in. I just got out the fastest being the oldest. When I turned eighteen, I left. At that point, I had only spent two years with Mom. She had been disappointed, but I only looked back once. By then, Iggy and Ella had started their relationship and Nudge had started school. Two years after that, Iggy and Ella bought an apartment.

They only took be in because I was mess. I had been living off the streets, making limited contact with them. Iggy hunted me down and knocked me out. For the first week, I refused to talk to him. He had locked me in the guest room, which was now my room, in his apartment. Confined, I was a prisoner. But it was for my own good. Even now I know that. I can still remember the first conversation I had with him once I started talking to him…

* * *

---Over a year ago, Iggy's apartment---

I sat on a bed. My bed. Iggy stood in the doorway. He now towered over me by a good 6 inches. Not much had changed about him since the last time I saw him. His hair was a little long, but at least he kept himself clean shaved. I myself really looked like a homeless person. But Iggy's pale blue eyes, they still looked troubled. They still seemed to go in and out of focus, like on the days after we realized Max was really gone.

"You think you can just run around like that? Fang, you're going to get yourself killed out there," Iggy frowned. "Max would be ashamed of you."

Part of me knows he's right, but I still refused to believe him. I was stubborn back then.

"Fang, I'm asking you to stay. And it's an obligation I owe Max to look after you. But don't get me wrong. I'd like to have you around." Iggy's eyes seemed to twinkle. He was thinking about Max's death. I could tell. There were some things I just knew about Iggy.

And then there were things he knew about me too.

"Please, Fang. We're supposed to look out for each other. The others worry about you. They haven't seen you in over a year," Iggy continued.

I remember it didn't take me that long to give in. In fact, if I remember correctly, I had broken down crying, and that was the end of the discussion. I agreed to stay. And here I was a year later, still around, even though I said I was going to leave months ago.

The truth is, I didn't want to go anymore.

* * *

The car ride is long. I look out the window, trying not to think of Max. I always thought Ella was going to kick me out one of these days, but she really did love Iggy enough to take his side. And sure, there were times I thought Ella would get angry at me, but she always bounces back. She's always been there for me too.

Although sometimes I wonder if they're only doing this for Max.

* * *

**Next update Monday. Thanks for reading and your reviews.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Living in Max's Shadow-Chapter 7**

By MyNameIsCAL

Dr. Martinez greets me like I'm her own child. It bothers me. Don't you ever hate the feeling of being accepted so easily, when you know you don't deserve it? It's like an awkward moment, except it's really only a one way moment. The other person just doesn't know you're bothered. But I still make the best of it and hug Dr. M back. Unlike the others, I do not call her _Mom_.

"It's good to see you all," Dr. M exclaims. "Nudge got here an hour ago."

Angel appears from behind Mom. I take Iggy and Ella's suitcase, along with mine, and bring it into the house. They are engaged in a conversation with Dr. M and I don't feel like talking.

"Well you look nice," Angel tells me as I drop the suitcases off by the stairs.

"Thank you." I try to sound happy.

Angel knows I already hate being here, but she continues on about my appearance. "Well, you don't smell like alcohol. Nice to see you."

Then she walks towards Ella and Iggy. I head to the family room which now has a new TV. Gazzy and Nudge are sitting there, watching the news.

"Fang!" Nudge smiles.

Why were people so excited to see me?

"Well, hello there, Fang," Gazzy yawns. He stretches his arms back and then stands to shake my hand.

"Gazzy," I mutter, shaking his hand.

"Cheer up," Nudge scolds. "Christmas is tomorrow. And we're all here for New Year's too. You'll be sorry when you leave and don't enjoy the company."

I know she's right, so I sit down and begin to watch the news with them, trying to forget Max for a while.

* * *

It's almost three in the morning. I haven't been able to get any sleep. I'm supposed to be sleeping _my_ room. The room I slept in when I was here before. It's the room where sometimes, when it was really late, and Max knew neither of us could sleep, she would climb into bed and snuggle up against me. We would whisper in the dark, talking about some things that mattered and some things that had no relevance at all.

The TV was on with closed captioning, its colors flickering across the room. I had the great urge to get up and go to my suitcase. Inside of it was a bottle of whiskey. One I've been saving up. But I know once I start, I won't stop, and no one would approve of me ruining Christmas. Finally, around four in the morning, I get up from the couch and go to my room. I can hear the light snores coming from each of the rooms.

I practically fall into bed, more tired than I thought. By the time my head hits the pillow, I'm out like a light. Tonight, I don't have time to think about Max, so my sleep is dreamless. For once.

* * *

"Fang, wake up, Buddy."

I roll to my side to see Iggy sitting on the rolling chair in my room.

"What time is it?" I sit up and stretch. My leg is still sore from being hit.

"Ten," Iggy answered. "Mom has breakfast for us all."

I stand up. Iggy is still in his pajamas so I suppose it was ok to go down like this.

"And Fang…"

"Yes, Ig?"

"Behave."

I feel like a child when I nod, almost with obedience.

Everyone else sits around the table. Iggy and I take seats next to Ella. She pours me some coffee.

"You're still limping," she mutters.

I shrug. "Just sore."

She doesn't say anything and begins piling food onto my plate, as if she knows I don't feel like eating. I start to eat my eggs and avoid talking to everyone. I was supposed to be the quiet one anyway. Nudge was going off about college again. _Motor mouth_ was what Max would have said. Angel looked up at me and grinned from her plate. I shake my head, but smile back anyway.

* * *

Christmas Eve. The flock and I aren't even officially Christian or Catholic or anything. Well, I guess other people who aren't still celebrate Christmas too, just to be with family. But going to church wasn't really my thing. Going to a place of god wasn't going to help me, just hurt me more.

"You can't bring me there," I tell Iggy as he waits for Ella to finish buttoning his shirt.

"It'll make Mom happy," Ella remakrs.

I shake my head. "I don't do well in places like that."

"Just this once," Iggy insists.

I sigh and head to the kitchen to wait for the others. _Alright, _I tell myself. _The one day I won't speak out against God._ But sometimes I wondered why Max had to go. And when you can't blame her, or the others in the flock, and yourself, then you go and blame god. It's a never ending cycle. Which is why I'm stuck where I am. I don't have the motivation to finish the cycle.

* * *

I'm standing next to Iggy and Gazzy. Church is almost over, but I can't stay here any longer. The preacher continues to go on and on, and I just want to leave. I need to get out of here. I need some air. Just for a moment, I close my eyes, and suddenly someone grabs my arm.

"You alright, there?" Gazzy says under his breath. "You looked like you might pass out or something."

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lie. And only because I'm good at lying.

* * *

We get home and I go and crawl into bed. My head seems to be throbbing along with my leg. Standing around for a few hours wasn't fun. Then again, lately, I haven't thought anything was fun.

"Fang." I hear my name being called from the other side of the door.

"Yeah?" I sit up in bed and watch the door open, the light from the hallway pouring in.

"Are you ok?" Iggy stands in the doorway, blocking the light.

Maybe I should tell him the truth. "No."

He seems to think about what to say. "Well if there's anything I can do…"

"It's fine, Ig. Thanks."

"Alright." And he walks out, closing the door behind him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Living in Max's Shadow-Chapter 8**

By MyNameIsCAL

I wake up around four and leave a note on the kitchen table that I'm going out. What I don't say is that I'm going out to find a bar.

It's chilly outside. I finish buttoning up my shirt and then take off into the air. Now that I think about it, it's been a while since I've been up in the air flying like this. Being up here is calming. At least up here nothing can touch me. Up here, I am invincible.

There's a bar calling my name ten minutes for Dr. Martinez's house. I remembering seeing it on the way into town. It doesn't take long to spot it from the air. _Twenty-four hours_ it reads. To me, that's like heaven. There's a few cars parked in the front. I realize it's connected to a local hotel. Stepping in, the place smells of cigars, cigarettes, and sweat. Old pictures hang on the wall. I sit at the bar.

"Early, ain't it?" the bartender mumbles. "You passing through?"

I nod, as a lie. "Got my sleeping times all screwed up. I'll take a whiskey."

The bartender nods and sets a glass in front of me. He flips on the TV to the news.

"Merry Christmas," the bartender grumbles. "First one's on the house."

As a thanks, I tilt my glass towards him. He nods, and disappears into the back. I lean on the counter and swig the glass back. Alcohol has never tasted so good. I close my eyes, just for a moment. Maybe the whiskey was a little too strong for my liking. I feel lightheaded a little. And then that's when something hits me and I'm out, drifting to darkness.

* * *

I wake up somewhere, my head throbbing. I'm some kind of cell. Like a jail cell. But then again, I've never seen a real one.

"Psst!!!"

I sit up and my surrounds spin. The sound is coming from my left, I think.

"Yeah?" I ask, feeling confused.

A paper slips out of between the end of the wall and the floor along with a pen. I pick it up and look at it. It reads: _how'd you get here. Don't talk._

I scribble something back, summarizing how I was at the bar and then I ended up here. The paper returns a few minutes later: _Whatever these scientists got planned, they're gonna operate on you. I heard._

_What do you mean "operate" ? _ I scrawl back.

I get the paper back quickly. _Experimentation. On humans._

_Itex_ is my response as I slip the paper back.

And the paper almost appears instantly. _Yes. How do u kno?_

I think for a moment. What if this person is not to be trusted? Or what if I know them or they know me? Then I answer: _I've dealt with them before._

It takes a few minutes for a response: _A lot of ppl here have. Keep the paper and pencil. Write if u have something important to say._

I tuck the paper and pen under the pillow of the cot. Listening, there have to be at least a dozen other people around me. I can hear their breathing, some heavier than others, as if they were struggling to keep going on. Across from my cell is a concrete wall. There are no windows. Not much of a view here.

I should have stayed at the house, but now, once again, I've managed to ruin another occasion for Ella and Iggy and their family.

What a fuck up I am.

But at least I know that Itex is still around and that I wasn't completely delusional.

* * *

---Back at Dr. Martinez's House Iggy's POV---

"Damnit, Fang," I swear.

I knew he'd do something like this.

"I called the bar. They said they haven't seen anyone there since last night," Ella tells me.

I crumple up Fang's note and throw it against the wall. After a moment, I hear chairs around me move. Ella takes my hand and sighs.

"He'll be back," Gazzy mutters.

I growl. "I hope so."

* * *

---Fang's POV---

"Do you remember me, Fang?"

I stare at the person standing on the other side of the bars. If I had the strength, I would have charged at her, but Marian Janssen was safe, behind metal that I couldn't break, so I scowl at her.

"Yes," I answer through closed teeth.

"Welcome back to the new and improved facility," she smiles, almost evilly. "I hope you enjoy cells better than cages. We shall be commencing our operation that includes you shortly in the next few days."

"What did you do with Max!" I shout.

She shakes her head. "She's dead, don't you understand that, Fang?"

I reach through the bars, but a guard pushes me back.

"You never got over her, did you?" Janssen laughs. But behind that laugh, I feel like she's hiding something.

"She's not dead," I say firmly.

Again, she laughs, and leads the guards down the hallway. I sit back on the floor and lean against the wall. A paper slips through the crack. _So you're the infamous "Fang"._

I write back. _Yeah._

And my response: _I met Max. I don't know where she is now, but a month ago, she was alive and well._

I ask for all the details. It takes several minutes for a response.

_Max was here. Apparently they revived her from the dead. They tried to brainwash her, but it didn't work. I swear she blabbered a gazillion thinks about you and your "flock". They tried brainwashing me too, but I still remember everything. I heard they stopped trying. Max claims they didn't kill her because they needed her to make the ultimate superior being. But that was a while ago. And Max was moved away after they discovered us communicating. I discovered my mattress was filled with paper, by the way._

It takes me a while to take it all in. Max was alive all these years. Only MIA a month ago. Suddenly, for the first time in what felt like forever, I had hope.

"And Fang, Max used to say you'd get her out. If you ever get out, will you come back for me?" the person on the other side of the wall asked.

"Absolutely," I promise. "What's your name?"

"I don't got one. I've been here for a long time. But people call me Fish."

"Fish?"

"Yup. I can talk to them," Fish answered. He reminds me of Ange.

"Oh."

"Yup, nice to meet you, Fang."

And then that's the end of our conversation because we both hear the footfalls of the guards. I can only wait and hope for a chance to get out.

* * *

**Thanks for reading. Please review. Next updates over the weekend.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Living in Max's Shadow-Chapter 9**

By MyNameIsCAL

I drift in and out of consciousness over the next few days. Whoever these scientists are, they keep drugging me and putting me out. Sometimes I wake up in pain and sometimes I wake up feeling numb, but the being awake only lasts for minutes at a time. Most of the time it's darkness which I cannot remember anything.

Every now and then I hear the scientists talk about me, but I only pick up bits and pieces and it is never enough to put anything together. Half the time, I don't remember it anyway. One time I heard this drilling sound, and then once my eyes fluttered open, they injected me and I was out, again. It was like I wasn't even alive anymore. I felt detached from my body almost, as if things weren't real anymore. And maybe they weren't.

* * *

---Iggy's POV---

It's never a good sign when the police show up to your door. But what's worse when you know the police are lying to you. Angel has her hand around my arm because she led me to the door. Every time the cop lies, she squeezes my arm.

"Your friend, Fang you call him? Well, I'm sorry to tell you we found him dead outside the local bar." Squeeze.

"They tried to save him at the hospital, but they couldn't." Squeeze.

"He was drunk." Squeeze.

I'm tired of his bullshit, so I grab the cop and pin him against the wall.

"Feisty for a blind man, aren't you?" The cop laughs.

I punch him.

"Iggy, stop!" I hear Gazzy run towards me.

"Tell me where Fang is you liar!" I shout. "Tell me!"

The cop tries to wiggle free but Gazzy holds the cop against the wall instead of pulling me up. I wait a moment to see if the cop will say anything, and he does.

He's scared. "I don't know, he could be anywhere. But I got grabbed the other day by some guys and they asked me to do stuff for them. They took me to some place in the side of some of those big red rocks you got here in Arizona. That's where I came from. They might have him there."

I let go of the man and find my way to a chair and sit down. I let out a deep breath. "Are you working for Itex?"

I can almost hear the man gulp. "Yes."

There is a silence in the room. No one speaks because all of us have denied Fang's crazy ideas that Itex was still around. We were all ready to get over Itex, even though deep down inside we know that there was a possibility that Fang was right. If we ever got him back, I doubt he'd ever talk to us again. And I knew he wasn't ok last night. I should have done something. Fang had been my responsibility.

"They threatened me and my family," the man almost whispers. "I'll help you. In any way I can."

I shake my head. "Let him go, Gaz."

"Wait, let me give you a map," the man insists.

I feel the map being pushed into my hands and then the front door opens, and the man is gone.

* * *

---Fang's POV---

"Tell me, Fang. Do you see anything different?"

I don't respond. Is anything different? Yes, that I'm dead. I am dead. And I'm stuck in some cruel, cruel hell.

"Fang, answer me!"

Marian Janssen is in hell, apparently.

"What did you idiots do to him?! He's non-responsive!!!" she screams.

I close my eyes and let darkness consume me. I'm hoping, for the very last time.

* * *

---Iggy's POV---

We all sit around the table. Gazzy is examining the map. Even though we've all grown up, that order of power still seems to exist within the flock. Fang had been the leader once Max had died. For a while anyway until he fell apart. As much as I hated to admit it, I knew the rest of the flock looked up to me. Right now, with our current situation, I had become the leader.

"It's not that far from here, this Itex facility," Gazzy says out loud, only for my benefit.

"We gotta go there," I find myself saying.

I hear Ella sigh, faintly. She's not happy. Ella and Mom have been the ones who have watched us come and go and eventually Max didn't come back. I thought that would be the end of us and we'd be leaving and holding our own, but Mom took us in, and here we were. The thought of us going and being in danger probably hurt her.

"Back in action." Gazzy is trying to lighten the mood. "For real."

"Maybe we should get help from someone." It takes me a while to realize Mom is talking.

"Help from whom?" I question.

There is a long silence. "Jeb."

And then the silence almost shifts to that kind of silence that makes you suffocate and feels like it might kill you.

* * *

---Fang's POV---

"Fang!"

I stir and open my eyes. Standing above me is Max. Maybe I got transferred to heaven. Or this is another evil trick.

"Max…" I mutter.

"Fang, how did you get here?" I feel her take my hand.

"I…I don't know." My head hurts and I feel like my vision is blurred.

I hear a door screech open.

"How did she get in here?!" someone demands.

"Fang….Fang I love you," Max whispers as she squeezes my hand one last time and it slips away.

"I love you too, Max."


	10. Chapter 10

**Living in Max's Shadow-Chapter 10**

By MyNameIsCAL

---Iggy's POV---

"Jeb?" I ask, almost feebly. "And you've been in contact with him?"

Mom pauses for a moment. "Well, no. But he gave me contact information in case I ever needed something."

"I refuse to involve him," I reply.

I can feel the tension in the room. No one else wants to involve him either. Once Max had died, Fang had sworn to never talk to Jeb again. Even though we could never prove he was involved with Max's death, Fang always knew he was and I did too. Jeb was a traitor. He always will be a traitor.

"Alright, then," Mom resigns. It's been a long time since we've done anything like this. It scares Mom. At least Ella, to some extent, understands. She knew there was always unfinished business to be taken care of.

"We gotta go now," Gazzy blurts out. "Itex has been waiting for a long time. Five years. We gotta get him."

I sense desperation in his voice.

"Then what are we waiting for?" I answer.

In the next five minutes, we've all filed into the car. Mom and Ella stand on the porch. I can tell that they're skeptical and worried. It was my call to go and if anyone got hurt, I was going to make sure all the blame was on me. If Fang couldn't be saved, I wasn't going to let anyone end up like him.

* * *

---Fang's POV---

I can hear the people around me, but I can't move. My whole body is number. I feel like I've been detached. Part of me keeps telling myself I'm dead. The other part of me is extremely pissed off that I'm stuck here like this, listening about how Itex plans to kill me.

"We've already successfully done it to one of them," the scientist says. "We just have to do the other. He has perfect use of it and little damage. Once both are done, we can finish up and see if it works before adding it to the other."

They speak so cryptically. It's like they know I'm listening, and maybe that's their point. Whatever they've done to me already, it isn't visible to me. As far as I can see, but then again, I haven't had a good look at myself in awhile.

"Then get started within the next hour," the other, almost recognizable voice says.

One of them looks down at me and frowns. I see him pull out a needle and it disappears out of my view, or I just fell unconscious after that.

* * *

---Iggy's POV---

The car stops.

"You see that gate?" Gazzy asks.

"Barely," Nudge mutters.

Gazzy turns the car off and opens his door. "Let's go. I don't want the car too close."

I open the door and immediately stumbled on a rock. Cursing, I started to follow after the others. As I started to move forward, a hand slipped into mine. Angel's hand. And she pulled me in the other direction.

"Am I that bad at direction now?" I ask, feeling embarrassed.

Angel laughs. "You almost went into a bigger rock."

I laugh too and she pulls me after the Gazzy and Nudge. It's just like old times, except I'm all grown up. At least Angel is still a kid. Well, technically she is. Although from the things we've been through, our childhood was over years and years ago.

We stop at the gate. The night is chilly. The sun is setting, according to Nudge's chattering. She has been going on about it since we got out of the car. Most days I wished I could see, especially those days while planning for the wedding. It was painful. Especially the day of the wedding. I think I disappeared into the bathroom after awhile because I never wanted anything big. Lots of people made me uncomfortable.

"Why don't we just fly over the gate?" Nudge continued on. "There aren't any guards visible and I don't see and security cams. Did you know that…"

"Let's go," Gazzy sighs.

We take off. I feel like it has been forever since I've unfurled my wings. Now that I think about it, I didn't do it often. Flying made me sad. It made me think about Max. There's a lot of stuff I wished I could forget, but the things you don't want to remember stick to you.

When we land, Gazzy is leading. He can make all the seeing decisions. In many ways, I was never slated for third-in-command. I'll always be that blind kid.

"How do we get in?" No one is telling me anything, so that's why I ask.

"Oh…" Gazzy trails off. "There has to be an entrance somewhere. Follow the tire marks."

Angel pulls me and I follow. They must have found something because Angel's hand slipped away and we're at a standstill. Gazzy crinkles the map and then steps forward. I heard something open and then some shouting. A familiar smell enters the air.

Erasers.

* * *

---Fang's POV---

There are alarms going off. I have no idea why, but they're making my head spin. Actually, I've been waiting for my head to fall off for a while. The scientists have been in and out pricking me with things every now and then. As the alarms go off, they all abandon the room. Whatever the alarm means, it can't be good for them.

I'm still strapped to the table. Trying to wiggle free will be useless. Even if I tried, I'd probably just fall down and end up hurting myself. There is shouting over the blaring. I can't make out anything anyone is saying and I feel like I'm gonna black out again. The room is going in circles.

The door bursts open. "FANG!!!"

My eyes shut.


	11. Chapter 11

**Living in Max's Shadow-Chapter 11**

By MyNameIsCAL

---Iggy's POV---

"FANG!"

I can hear the footsteps of Nudge and Angel run pass me and towards Gazzy. There is a firefight going on. The erasers are shooting at us. The bullets ricochet everywhere as I run towards them. My shoulder hits a doorway and I plunge forward, my shoulder aching. The door shuts behind me and Nudge pulls me up.

"Are you ok?" she asks me.

I nod. "Fang?"

Gazzy replies. "Fang…Fang talk to me!"

"Huh…" Fang moans.

Through the walls, I can hear that the firing has stopped. The talking is muffled, but they I can tell they are trying to find a way in. Getting out was going to be the hard part.

"Fang, Jesus, Man, what happened to you?" Gazzy mutters.

I get up from the floor and walk over to Gazzy. According to Nudge, they are unstrapping Fang from the table. I listen, patiently.

"Max…I saw her," Fang coughs. "I swear."

Gazzy knows exactly what I'm thinking. "Ok, we'll look for her."

"Get me off this table," Fang pleads.

I grab one of his arms and Gazzy takes the other. We get him and he collapses onto the floor. He isn't strong enough to walk. I prop him up against the side of the table.

"Angel and I will go look for Max. Nudge, get Fang back to the car with Iggy. We'll be there as soon as we can," Gazzy orders. He is in charge of this since I can't see.

Nudge and I each take one of Fang's arms. Angel opens the door and is able to halt the erasers from attacking us, using her mind powers. I'm glad Angel is on our side. She could easily turn those erasers against us and we'd be nothing but bits and pieces of flesh and bone. We try to move Fang as fast as we can. Angel is struggling to control so many erasers at once.

"Hurry up!" she screams.

We burst out the door as the firing starts again. Turning to look back was my biggest mistake. It caused Fang to be unbalanced between Nudge and I, so we went tumbling into the dirt. There were a few gunshots and I felt something rip through my shoulder. I pulled Fang back up as quickly as I could, ignoring the new pain in my shoulder.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"Yeah, fine," Nudge almost yells.

Fang is dragging his feet along. "I think I got hit."

I want to curse, but don't. We finally get away from the erasers and they don't pursue us anymore. Whatever they were protecting inside was more important than Fang.

"Oh shit, he's bleeding." Nudge helps me put Fang into the backseat and she pulls out the first aid kit. I'm useless, being blind. So I listen to Nudge assess Fang's wounds.

"Hey, stay with me! You made it this far, Fang!" Nudge shouts.

"C'mon, Fang," I try to encourage.

Fang laughs and then coughs. "I was bound to get killed sometime."

"Don't say that," I say, almost angrily. He couldn't quit now.

"Iggy, put pressure on this." Nudge places my hand over some cloth which is covering Fang's wound.

"A chest wound?" I ask, but I'm afraid to know.

Nudge sits down next to me, her head on my shoulder. "Yeah."

And all we can do is wait for Angel and Gazzy.

* * *

"You're bleeding…" Nudge suddenly notices.

I shake my head. "I'm fine."

The truth is, I feel lightheaded. But Fang is worse off than I am. He's our priority.

The front doors of the car suddenly open and Gazzy and Angel burst in. The car starts and we drive off. No one offers and explanation of what happens until there's a big explosion behind us.

"Itex grabbed Max just as we got to her cell." Angel was the first to speak. "They took off in a helicopter almost five minutes ago. At least they were clear of the explosion. We grabbed some files too."

"Fish…" Fang is slouched against me now. I can feel his blood seeping through my fingers.

"Fish?" Gazzy suddenly repeats. "He…He was in another cell we passed. We freed him. He ran off somewhere. I'm positive he made it out. He told me to tell you thanks, Fang."

Fang tries to laugh, but ends up having a coughing fit. I guess we would get our explanation later. Nudge explains what happened to us and suddenly we're headed to Mom's office for her to treat Fang.

* * *

---Fang's POV---

I wake up in my bed at Dr. Martinez's house. An unbearable pain rips through me as I try to sit up. My mind cannot recall what happened until I see the door open and Gazzy come in. He looks worn out. There are cuts on his face and his hand has been bandaged haphazardly.

"Fang…"

"You didn't get Max," I say.

"We couldn't, but we will," he tells me. "And we believe you now."

I close my eyes. "What happened to me?"

Gazzy gulps and hands me a mirror. I look into it and stare.

"Besides that you got shot in the chest on our way out, I don't know what they did to you…" Gazzy sits on the edge of the bed. "They tried messing with your vision or something, but you can see, right? I haven't looked through the files we grabbed they had out on the table for you."

I stare into the mirror, in disbelief. My left eye has gone from dark brown to an eccentric blue. I try to recall the events that happen to me, but I can't. Those scientists drugged me so heavily that I had lost track of all those hours. It made things seem like days.

"I'm sorry, Fang." Gazzy looks like he might cry.

He takes a syringe from the bedside table and injects me with something.

"Mom says it's for the pain," Gazzy mutters, avoiding eye contact. "If you need anything, just holler."


	12. Chapter 12

**Living in Max's Shadow-Chapter 12**

By MyNameIsCAL

---Fang's POV---

I wake up and there are Christmas presents on my desk. Iggy sits on the floor, against the wall, his arm in a sling. His eyes are closed. I say his name and they flutter open.

"How're you feeling?" he asks.

"Like shit," I reply.

He shrugs. "I figured."

I watch him stand and move towards my presents. Guilt strikes me. I had ruined Christmas for them. Iggy begins to bring one of the presents over.

"I don't want to open them," I tell him.

Iggy puts the present down. "I didn't think so. Ella said she thought you might want to."

"Tell her I said thanks."

Ella walks in the room. Her eyes meet mine and then quickly look away. I wonder why, and then realize it must be strange looking at someone with two totally different colored eyes. I resist the urge to say anything.

"Mom said you needed to take these pills," Ella explains.

I take the water she offers me and swallow the pills.

"Are you hungry?" Ella took the glass from me.

I tell her no, but I know she'll be back anyway with food. It's been so long that I've gone without food and I probably need it. Iggy stays in the room with me.

"I'm sorry." Those words just come out of my mouth without much thinking.

"I know you feel guilty and you want to blame yourself, but it's ok, Fang. There's always Christmas next year," Iggy cuts me off before I can continue. "And we're gonna find Max."

With some reassurance, I slip back into unconsciousness.

* * *

It's New Years Eve. Dr. Martinez has friends over and Gazzy has invited a couple of his friends from the movie industry. I'm still too weak to do much. I don't feel like I've gotten any better and I'm heaving headaches. Iggy thought Dr. Martinez should take me to her office and scan my head, but I told her to wait until after New Year's.

Iggy and Gazzy have brought me downstairs. I honestly didn't want to, but I felt guilty about ruining Christmas, so I pretty much agreed to most things they said.

They put me on a chair in the kitchen. I lean forward on the table and wince as pain rips through my chest.

"You don't have to be down here," Gazzy offers.

I shake my head. "I'm fine."

Angel and Nudge enter the room. Dr. Martinez follows shortly after them. They move to the fridge and pull out things. They have to start cooking. The people they invited should be arriving in any minute now. I'm starting to regret being down here, but I lean against the table and try to concentrate on not passing out.

The first guest is the other doctor that Dr. M works with. He introduces himself to all of us and sits at the table across from me. His eyes meet mine and he quickly looks away. I continue to look at him for another moment before I turn away.

"Well, I've heard a lot about all of you," he says.

I grunt. "Really?"

He nods. "I think you're incredible."

I try not laugh.

Nudge sits down next to me. "It came from a lot of pain to be where we are today."

The doctor nods again. "Well, of course it did. Now, what's your name, Sir?"

"I'm Fang," I answer quietly.

"Ah, I see." He adjusts his glasses.

A wave of pain rips through me again and I close my eyes for a minute. Nudge grabs my arm to steady me.

"Are you ok?" the doctor asks. He is beginning to annoy me.

"Fine," I reply.

The lie we tell him was that I've been hit by a car. They all think that Itex has been gone, but recently, I've proven that wrong. After a while, the doctor goes to help let people in the door. The house is filled with strangers. At least strangers to me. Then I remember that I haven't been around here long enough to get to know Dr. M's friends and her coworkers. More guilt for me.

Nudge stays at the table with me. I get the feeling she didn't really want to see all of these people.

"Oh, hello, Nudge!" someone exclaims.

Nudge stands up and hugs the man. "Hello, John."

"It's good to see you," he smiles.

I watch Nudge smile back, but I can see it's being forced.

"Remember that recipe you asked for?" John continues. "Well here, I've got it for you. You just need to write it down."

I grab a napkin off the table and John produces a pen. He hands it to me instead of Nudge. I listen to him ramble off the ingredients. When he's done, Ella is greeting him. Nudge returns to her seat next to me and looks at the napkin.

"Very funny, Fang."

I look at the napkin and don't understand.

"You've written that backwards," she says.

I shake my head. "No I didn't."

She looks up at me and takes the napkin. "What did Itex do to you?"

I find my head shaking again.

* * *

"Wine or whiskey?"

Iggy sits down on my opposite side. Nudge has left to help serve food. The kitchen is serving as a refuge from everyone else because they are all trying to stay out of Dr. M's way.

"Whiskey," I mutter, wondering why Iggy would even think of offering me alcohol.

He places a shot glass and the bottle of whiskey in front of me. I pour it and let it sit on the table for a while.

"Read the label," he tells me.

I pick up the bottle and look at it. The letters are jumbled. I can't read it. It doesn't make any sense.

"That's what I thought," Iggy answers to my silence.

I pick up my shot glass and drain it.

"I'm sorry, Fang," he whispers.

I open the whiskey and take a sip directly out of it. It burns my chest, but at this point, I don't care anymore. He and I both know that we have Itex to blame. Itex had been messing with my head. Whatever processed my reading and writing had been screwed up. If I ever had a chance to get back at Itex, they were going to have the shit beaten out of them.

Iggy doesn't stop me from drinking more whiskey. Instead, he just sits there the rest of the night, silently, drinking the rest of the whiskey with me.

* * *

I don't want to talk to anyone, but they all seem to want to try to talk to me. Once all the food has been served, people wander into the kitchen. None of them can look me straight in the eye for more than a few seconds. When questions come along that I don't want to answer, Iggy answers for me. The rest of the night is like this and at the end…

I don't think even I can look myself in the mirror anymore.


	13. Chapter 13

**Living in Max's Shadow-Chapter 13**

By MyNameIsCAL

The champagne is poured and handed out. Even though I've probably had enough whiskey to kill me, I still accept the glass. Everyone is heading to the family room to countdown with the TV, but I'm perfectly fine in the kitchen.

"Aren't you going to go?" I ask Iggy.

Iggy shrugs. "Nah, I don't like crowds."

I hear everyone start to count down.

"Ten…Nine…Eight…Seven…Six!"

Iggy is counting along, so I join in.

"Five…Four…Three…Two…ONE!"

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Iggy shouts, even though there's only two of us in the kitchen. He raises his glass and I lift mine to his.

"To good health," I mutter.

He laughs. "To good food."

I say something less serious. "To your cooking."

"To your quick recovery." He takes a sip from his champagne, but we continue.

"To Ella," I add.

He pauses and raises his glass once more. "To Max."

"To Max," I repeat.

* * *

By the end of the night, Iggy and I are drunk. He's let himself go, but I haven't quite reached the point of no return. The guests file out. Dr. M makes sure all of them are ok to drive. Most of them only had a few drinks, unlike Iggy and me.

"How many drinks did you have?" Ella demands.

Iggy smirks. "Does that really matter? It's a new year!"

He pulls Ella into his arms. She rolls her eyes at our laughter, but still stands on her tip toes to kiss Iggy.

"Happy New Year," she smiles.

Iggy lets her go and she makes her way to me. Since I'm sitting in a chair, she bends down and gives me an awkward hug.

"Happy New Year," I say, trying not to sound too drunk.

"Happy New Year, Fang."

* * *

We're all getting over the alcohol in the morning. Both Iggy and I need a shave when we sit down to breakfast, which is really lunch, around noon time. Dr. M is heating up the leftovers from last night. My medication for my pain is placed in front of me with a glass of water. I down it in one gulp. We all look tired.

Now the subject of Max lingered. Since New Year's was now over, everyone knew a decision had to be made. Gazzy and Angel had seen Max. There was proof she was alive. That gives me relief to know that, but I know whatever lies ahead will be a struggle. I know that much for sure.

"So, when are you all leaving?" Mom suddenly asks us.

There is silence.

"I think it's been decided that we need to find Max." Iggy replies quietly.

That much is obvious. None of us were going to abandon Max and after all these years of them thinking she was dead, we had to get her back. The only question was where to start. Five years gave enough time for Itex to do anything. Once we found where they were keeping Max, Itex had blown up its facility.

"Jeb," Iggy mutters.

I raise an eyebrow. "Jeb?"

"Mom has contact information. I saw we go find him," Iggy offers.

Deep down inside I know that's my only option. I've gotten so lost in my thoughts that I don't notice how everyone is waiting for me to answer, like I'm sort of leader or something.

"Well, that's all we got," I almost whisper to them.

Iggy nods. "Alright, then."

* * *

We are packing our things. My Christmas presents remain unopened. When Ella comes in with my suitcase, she frowns at them. I sigh.

"Christmas seems like years ago," I comment.

"You don't have to open them." Ella realizes that I didn't really want to open them. She knows I don't think I deserve them.

I sit on the chair next to the desk and begin to unwrap one. "No, I'll open them."

She hesitates as I grab the smallest box. There's a card on it. I take it off first and open it. A picture falls out of it and I snatch it up before Ella can even get to me. It's a car. My eyes focused on the card now. If I concentrated, I could read some.

"Do…Do you want me to read it?" Ella held out her hand.

The letters jumble and seem to dance around, mocking me. I have the greatest urge to crumple the card up and throw it against the wall, but my hand gives Ella the card. She sits on the bed and reads it.

"Dear, Fang," she starts. "Merry Christmas. The past few years have been hard, and this year was no different. We're glad to have you around, don't you ever doubt that. Ella and I will always be here for you. She was totally against giving you this gift, but I think you can handle it. Please don't make me regret this. Iggy."

I open the box as she finishes it. Of course it's a set of car keys. I twirl them around my finger and look at the picture. It's a black jeep with a top that came down. Ella handed back the card to me and I placed it back in the box with the keys and picture. No one says it, but we both know that I won't be driving any time soon.

The next present was from Nudge. Under the wrapping paper was a clothing box that totally screamed Nudge. I undid the tape on the sides, wondering why you would bother taping a box that was being wrapped with more tape. Inside the box was a black jacket, army style. My name was even printed on it. It was hard not to suppress a smile. Nudge always got you a gift that satisfied both her and the receiver.

I open Angel's gift next. Of course it's a book. After a minute of staring, I realize it has something to do about Alcohol Addiction. Ella frowns, but I tell her Angel was only trying to help. None of them could have known I'd end up like this. I put the book down and take another present. It's from Gazzy.

"Whiskey?" I frown. Why would he get me alcohol? It totally defeated the purpose of Angel getting me a book about fighting alcoholism.

"He gets a lot from his Hollywood friends." I didn't see that Ella had take then card. She began to read. "Fang. While our gifts totally contradict each other, enjoy them and use them wisely. While alcohol may be one of your weak points, one cannot give up a goo whiskey every now and then. Although, I'm not sure Angel would agree. Merry Christmas, Gazzy and Angel."

I try not to linger on Gazzy's gift too long. Someday, maybe when I could control my urges to drink, I'd sit down and enjoy a shot every now and then. Although I had that wouldn't happen for a while. The last two gifts were from Ella and Dr. M. I was surprised Ella and Iggy hadn't just gotten a gift together for me. The car was enough for me. Christmas was one of those holidays I wished I could avoid. Presents just made it harder to get through.

Dr. M's gifts, as long as I can remember, were always practical. She signs her card as "Mom" even though I still call her Dr. M. Ella is always telling me I should call Dr. M Mom, but I don't have the heart to. Not after what happened to Max. This year, her gift was a framed picture of all of us, including Max. From left to right stood Nudge, Iggy, Max, Me, Angel, and Gazzy. I run my hand over the glass of the frame and then set it back into the box it was wrapped in.

The last gift is Ella's gift. I pull off the wrapping paper slowly and reveal an album. I watch Ella smile.

"I put that together of the weddings pictures of you," she said softly. "I didn't really know what to get you since Iggy was getting you that car."

I flip through it. "It's beautiful. I couldn't have asked for a better gift."

In the end of the album was another photo of Max and me from some party a long time ago. We were dressed up. She was in a dress. I couldn't recall why we were dressed up. Ella opens the suitcase and starts to place the rest of my things inside.

I look up at her. "Thank you."


	14. Chapter 14

**Living in Max's Shadow-Chapter 14**

By MyNameIsCAL

It was time to leave Dr. Martinez's house and set out to find Max. We would be heading back to the apartment and then to meet Jeb at a location that was yet to be decided. He was supposed to contact Mom who would call us to relay the information.

Dr. M gives us hugs goodbye. For once, I feel like the hug I give back is genuine.

"Thank you," I tell her.

She just smiles and nods. I get into the car next to Nudge. Ella climbs into the driver's seat after helping Iggy in. We leave Dr. M alone once more. I wonder if she misses when we were little, when every day would be chaotic. Those days were long gone, but even I would miss those days. If I took a step back and time, I'm pretty sure I would find myself at Dr. M's doorstep.

PAGE BREAK!

We get to the apartment after eight in the evening. Iggy checks the messages and Ella is sorting through the mail. Nudge is on the couch, flipping through the TV channels. Gazzy had to fly to California again. He was supposed to be here by tomorrow morning.

I go to my room and leave my suitcase at the edge of the bed. My head hurts a little. The bed seems to be calling me, so I get into it and fall asleep. Tonight's sleep is dreamless. For once. Thank God.

* * *

I wake up and head to the kitchen. I think it's ten, unless I read the clock wrong. There's some toast that sits on the table. We must not have any food for Iggy to make today. Nudge sits across from him. Ella is next to Iggy, reading the newspaper. I avoid looking at the paper and sit next to Nudge.

"Gazzy should be here in a few minutes," Angel says to me, taking a seat at the head of the table.

I rub my temples, feeling another headache coming. Leaning onto the table, I close my eyes.

"Are you ok?" Angel asks.

I don't answer because there's a knock on the door. Everyone but Iggy and me get up to go to the door. Gazzy comes in, dressed in a suit and tie. He undoes the tie and takes the last remaining seat at the table.

"So, did Mom call yet?" he questions.

Everyone shakes their head. Is that what we're all waiting for?

"Hungry?" Iggy pushes the plate of toast towards Gazzy and me. I shake my head, but Gazzy grabs one and starts to eat.

"You have to be hungry," Iggy insists.

I shake my head again.

He sighs and leaves the plate in the middle of the table. I'm not in the mood to eat. The anxiousness is going to kill me. I want to get up and pace the room, but that'll make my head spin and it's already killing me. Rubbing my temple, I reached for the newspaper section that Ella wasn't reading. Angel gave me a questioning look.

"This is the classified section, right? None of you want to read this?" I ask them.

Angel shakes her head.

I rip the section in half and start to fold a paper hat, out of bored and distraction. Angel looks slightly amused. When I finish, I set it next to the toast on the table. Ella smiles as Angel reaches for it and places it on her head.

"Ooh too bad our heads are too big," Angel states.

We all laugh.

The phone rings and Iggy snaps it up immediately. Sometimes I forget he's blind. My anxiousness builds so much that I get up and walk around the kitchen as Iggy talks to Dr. M. I know that this is going to hurt my head more, but that's ok. When he hangs up, we all stare at him.

"New York City," Iggy says softly.

"That's so far," Gazzy remarks.

Iggy shrugs. "Someone go buy tickets. We gotta be there in the next two days or we'll have to go to China. Jeb doesn't stay anywhere very long."

* * *

We're making our way through the terminal to find the gate for our plane. I wish we could just fly to New York City ourselves, but I was in no condition to do that and Ella was coming with us. She should have stayed home, but her charm worked its ways on Iggy and he gave in.

"Here's the gate," Ella takes Iggy by the hand and leads him to the right. I follow, Gazzy and Angel behind me.

People are already boarding the plane. I haven't been in an airplane in years. When I get in my seat, I suddenly feel nervous. Ella is to my left and Angel to my right.

"It'll be ok," Angel whispers to me.

Sometimes I wish she couldn't read my mind.

"I know what you're thinking," Angel scowls, and then grins.

I roll my eyes and try to relax.

* * *

The smell of New York is familiar. People, garbage, and food all mixed together. Maybe I notice this only because my sense of smell is better than most people. It's raining here and we stand outside waiting in line for a taxi to take us to our hotel. Our meeting with Jeb isn't scheduled until dinner for tomorrow.

"We only have two hotel rooms. That's all I could book," Ella explains as she gives me the suitcase to watch. "Would you rather stay with Iggy and me or Gazzy and Angel?"

I weight my options. Angel will probably spend the whole night reading my thoughts, so opting to share a room with Iggy and Ella sounded better.

"You," I answer.

Ella nods. "How's your head?"

I shrug. "Still hurts."

"Want some Advil?"

"Alright."

Ella digs through her purse and pulls out the canister. She hands me two and I swallow them without water. I doubt they effect they'll have will last long, but that's ok. Some relief was better than none.


	15. Chapter 15

**Living in Max's Shadow-Chapter 15**

By MyNameIsCAL

Dinner. With Jeb. I hated Jeb and everything he had done to me and the flock. He was a backstabber, a double-crosser, and a poser father. I admired him once, but that was a long time ago. That was the best, but it's easy to say we can never let go of some things, especially pain that someone caused you.

"Well, hello, Fang." Jeb sticks his hand out and I shake it stiffly. He may have greeted me like an old friend, but he was no friend to me.

"Well, shall we go inside?" Ella asks. "It's cold."

Jeb nods and we follow him in. He's already been to the table that was reserved for us. I take a seat between Ella and Gazzy. The waiter hands us menus and I suddenly remember that I can't read it. I want to throw it at Jeb, but restrain myself as Angel gives me a warning look.

"Shall we order before we get down to business?" Jeb questions.

I nod. Somehow everyone is looking at me.

Everyone is looking at their menus now. I stare down at it and try to read it. My frustration with Jeb is clouding my patience and concentration that I end up ordering the only thing I can read.

"Oh, gosh I'm so sorry, Fang," Ella suddenly realizes. "I should have…"

I shake my head. "Forget it, Ella."

That silences her. The last thing we need Jeb to know is any of my weaknesses that he can use against me for bargaining. We all know he won't help us unless he gets something in return.

"So Max is alive?" Jeb questions after the waiter leaves.

Gazzy answers. "Yes. We saw her."

Well, we all didn't see her, but if Gazzy and Angel saw her, saying _we_ wasn't a total lie. I watch as Jeb tells us information of different Itex bases. He claims he hasn't had any contact with Itex since Max's death, but I don't believe him. Angel will listen to his thoughts and explain all the lies and tall tales later. But for now, we will let Jeb speak.

"She could really be anywhere. I just thought Itex had killed her to get to all of you easily, but I was wrong. They had killed her to cover up what they were doing," Jeb tells us. "I left after that. I wouldn't listen when they said that they had plans and it wasn't as it seemed."

If Jeb hadn't been looking at me, I would have rolled my eyes. His gaze locks into my eyes and then he looks away, like everyone else does. That only shows how weak he is. He never could look us in the eye whenever we came across him. Jeb knows that he hurt us more than anyone. If I could guess the one thing that he could not live down, it would be us.

"Are you wearing contacts?" Jeb diverts our attention to me.

"No," I begin slowly. "Itex did this to me."

He stares for a moment, and then frowns. "Can you see?"

"Yes, I can," I reply.

The conversation ends as the waiter comes with our food.

* * *

It's almost midnight as we step out onto the streets of New York again. Jeb is bringing us to some bar, the last place I want to be. We still have more to discuss, apparently. I'm ready to go back to the hotel, but we follow him two blocks and take seats in the back corner.

"I thought it was safer to discuss in a more crowded place," Jeb explains. "But I really do want to help you. I think I should go back to Itex and go in. Once I get information, I can relay it to you."

I didn't like that idea. In fact, Jeb had no information for us except the locations of Itex bases from when he was still there. That was five years ago. We were wasting time coming out here in New York.

"Alright," Iggy suddenly agrees. "But how do we know this isn't a set up?"

Jeb frowns. "Because if I had been trying to kill you, you would be dead already."

He has a point, so we arrange our contact information and plan to meet Jeb in California in the near future. Since we're at a bar, Jeb orders us all drinks. It's whiskey. Ella frowns but passes me a glass. I swallow all of it and return the glass to the waiter. No more for me. But the rush of alcohol already makes me want more.

* * *

"Do you trust him?" I ask Angel.

She's sitting on Ella and Iggy's bed. "He's not lying to us."

"Then we're going to let him go along with his plan?" Gazzy sounds skeptical.

Angel shrugs. "Well I'm not the one deciding, I'm just telling you what I figured out in his head."

There is silence. Everyone wants me to make the decision, but I know that I really don't deserve to decide that. Iggy should. He's held us all together up to this point. Iggy might have been blind to physical things, but those things that we couldn't see, he could. It was like some kind of sixth sense.

"We don't really have another choice," I finally say.

"No," Iggy agrees. "We don't."

And so it's decided. We put a little trust into Jeb and hope for the best.


	16. Chapter 16

**Living in Max's Shadow-Chapter 16**

By MyNameIsCAL

"Fang, wake up."

I sit up and see Ella standing over me. She's holding a glass of water.

"You were talking in your sleep," she said, pushing two pills into my hand. "Take some Advil."

My head is pounding. Somehow she figured this out. I had no idea what I was sleep talking about, but something must have indicated that I needed some relief.

I swallow and gulp some water. After I'm done, she places the bottle on the table and tells me to get some sleep. I shut my eyes and don't wake up until the next morning.

* * *

Our plane doesn't' leave until tomorrow night. That means we have almost two days to kill in the city. I'm not really up for going anywhere, but I don't tell the others that. I'll let them do what they want. At the least, it'll make up for some of the trouble I caused.

"I'm hungry," Angel states as we hit the streets in the morning.

"Alright, then let's eat," Iggy agrees.

We don't really know where we're going. Ella leads the way and eventually we end up at a little corner restaurant. It looks good enough so we sit at a table. The waitress hands us all menus. I put it down and don't bother to look at it.

"Is there a problem sir?" she asks.

I look up at her, watching her eyes dart away after she makes eye contact with me. Gazzy lets out a sharp breath and I can hear Ella not breathing. The waitress takes half a step back. After a moment, I finally look away from her.

"I'm sorry…" the waitress sounds speechless.

"It's fine," I mutter.

She stands there for a moment, unsure of what to say.

"So can I order something to drink?" Iggy finally says.

"Uh…" the waitress fumbles to get her paper pad out. "Sure. Wha…What can I get you?"

"I'll have a Pepsi," Iggy says.

They go around the table and order drinks. When they reach me, the waitress freezes up again.

"Do you have alcohol?" I hear Iggy ask.

"Yes," the waitress answers quickly.

"Then he'll have a beer," Iggy continues.

I continue to stare at the menu and watch the words play tricks on me. The waitress nods and leaves. Everyone is staring at me.

"Fang," Ella pulls the menu away from me. "Fang!"

I sit up and stare at her. She keeps the gaze.

"I'm fine." But it's obvious that I'm not. In fact, I think I'm sweating now.

"You wanna step outside?" Iggy suggests. "C'mon, Fang."

I stand up and Iggy leads the way out. The cold stings as we step out. He sighs and hesitates for a moment, unsure of what to say.

"I can't stand the way they look at me. How all of you can barely stand to look me in the eye," I tell him.

Iggy opens and closes his mouth a few times. Finally, he decides to say, "C'mon I bet your beer is at the table now."

I follow him in.

* * *

The beer is almost intoxicating. I have the urge to drain it all at once, but Iggy was trying to be nice so I drank it, I guess, as a normal person would. We ordered food to share. I think Ella only suggested this because she didn't want to force me to try to read the menu. I feel guilty, but they were only looking out for me I guess. Either way I would have gotten over it.

"Can we go shopping?" Nudge questions.

"Of course," I tell her before anyone can start saying that I needed rest or something.

Ella raises an eyebrow at me.

"I can just go back to the hotel anyway if I get tired," I assure her.

Nudge has this huge grin now. I probably just made her day, and deep down inside, that feels good. But it's not enough to make me happy right now. The beginnings of a new headache were starting. Walking around all day in the city probably isn't a good idea.

PAGE BREAK!

I'm sitting in the subway with Iggy. Stupidly, I had insisted that Ella let Iggy and me go back to the hotel by ourselves. Neither of us could read. I had no idea where we were going. Well, I was able to decipher some of the signs. So it wasn't so bad.

"We're really stupid," Iggy mutters.

I have to laugh. "I know, Ig."

* * *

I'm lying on the couch. Iggy has the TV on to the news. He has it so low that I can barely hear it. With him being blind, I guess his other senses compensated for it.

"If you were able to get your sight back, would you want it?" I suddenly question.

Iggy thinks for a moment. "If it were temporary, then yes. I've always wanted to see a sunset. Although I could careless to see anything else. This is normal for me."

I had a feeling he might say that. After awhile I guess you just got used to things that they didn't faze you anymore. Well, most things anyway. I didn't exactly adjust to Max's "death" very well. I certainly wasn't taking this well either. Iggy always smoothed things out and got on quickly. That's what made him different from me. I was always fighting with myself and he wasn't.

"Don't worry, Fang," Iggy replies to my silence. "You'll adjust to everything. You'll get by."

And with that, I close my eyes and try to get some sleep. I guess Iggy is right.

I just gotta find a way to let go of all my self anger first.


	17. Chapter 17

**Living in Max's Shadow-Chapter 17**

By MyNameIsCAL

The last place I want to be is home, but that's where I am. It's three in the morning. Iggy and Ella are sound asleep now. We're supposed to go house hunting tomorrow. The fact that they're taking me makes me feel guilty. I always feel guilty about what they do for me before I can actually feel good about it. Is there something wrong with me or am I just being paranoid?

It's been a day since we got back from New York City. I have a feeling that Iggy and Ella also just want to keep me occupied while we wait to hear from Jeb. And I should thank them because I do need that distraction. House hunting, in a way, sounded exciting.

I sit in my room, contemplating whether I'm going to pull out some whiskey and have a drink. Or two. Which is exactly why I keep stopping myself. If I could only just have one and stop, then I'd be perfectly ok. But my body didn't work like that. I was an alcoholic, no doubt. It's a surprise that Ella hasn't thrown me into one of those AA groups. I probably deserve to be there too.

I deserve to be anywhere but here.

And yet, I am here. I'm lucky. And I'm ungrateful for the way I repay everyone. They should kick me to the curb. I should be homeless and on the streets, begging for forgiveness on my knees. Yet I never had to do that. Iggy could never let me sink that low. Maybe they just care too much about me. And that wasn't a bad thing. Just the guilt I got from it was killing me.

I lie back and pull the blankets over me. Tonight, I decide, I'll get some sleep.

* * *

We meet the realtor after lunch. Her name is Marge. We're at a house, only half an hour away from Mom's place. I can already tell that Iggy does not like it. It's too small for him. Even his apartment was spacious. Ella kindly explains to Marge we we're really looking for, and we move on to another house.

This one definitely has more space. There's a nice backyard with a pool. Iggy talks about wanting to get a grill. There's a basement and a second floor. The previous owners had moved away to California.

"Plenty of space to have the family over," Ella says as we make our way to the second floor.

"Yeah," Iggy agrees. "Plenty of space for kids."

That's the first time I've heard Iggy mention having kids. I know that he was hesitant to start a family. He told me, on one of my sober nights, a long time ago before the wedding. Mostly, he blamed the kind of life he led with being involved with the rich and famous. While Ella doesn't mind it, he didn't want to be an absent father.

"Yes," Ella smiles. Then she turns to me. "What do you think, Fang?"

I straighten up. "It's nice."

I'm not sure of what to say really. They were paying for the house. It was their decision. I personally, was just glad to have a roof over my head.

Iggy speaks again. "Well, shall we continue to the next house? Looks like this is one we might revisit."

We all agree about that.

* * *

By dinner time, we had seen about seven different houses. Only three of them, at least to me, feel like homes. I don't tell Iggy or Ella that. They can choose. It's not up to me.

"So what do you want for dinner?" Iggy questions as we get into the car.

Ella speaks first. "Maybe we should eat home again. It'll be late if we eat out when we get home."

What she is really saying is that _Fang is tired of looking at menus and it'll probably piss him off since he's getting tired_. Well, maybe not to that extent.

"I'm fine either way," I comment.

Ella begins to drive.

* * *

I force myself to eat at dinner. I haven't really been hungry ever since we saw Jeb. It's mostly stress and anxiety. I can't sleep either. Although, I never sleep, but the restlessness is getting worse.

I'm crashing.

Slowly.


	18. Chapter 18

**Living in Max's Shadow-Chapter 18**

By MyNameIsCAL

I wake up more tired than last night. I feel like sleep doesn't even help me anymore. It's like I just blinked and kept my eyes closed for a really long time. Maybe I need to see a doctor. I definitely need help.

Dragging myself down the hall, I take a seat on the couch and lie back down tiredly. It's only eight in the morning. Ella and Iggy probably wouldn't stir until ten. Closing my eyes, I drift out of slumber. This is a mistake because I know I'll just wake up more tired. That's ok, it's not like I had anything better to do.

* * *

"Fang."

I open my eyes to see Ella standing over me. It must be noon already. I curse and sit up, but she seems amused.

"How's your head?" She sounds like a mother. I hate feeling like a child.

"Fine," I lie. It actually feels like it's throbbing.

Ella sits down next to me. "Jeb made contact with Itex. They're accepting him back. Apparently they're short handed. He sent me a message this morning."

"What kinda message?" I grumbled, rubbing my eyes.

"Email. He says communicating is going to get harder soon," Ella goes on. "I just thought you'd like to know what's going on."

I nod. "Thanks."

* * *

I spend most of the day sleeping and waking up whenever Iggy or Ella had something to say. A couple times I would wake to hear them talking about me. Iggy said maybe they should take me to see a doctor or to see Mom. Ella said that it would upset me. Unfortunately, both of them are right. I never figure out their conclusion because I fall asleep again after that.

And all this sleeping is going to end up being bad for me. When night came, I would be wide awake. Or maybe not. I just feel more tired every time I woke up. I do need a doctor. Although seeing Mom first was first before I go anywhere else. In the morning, I will talk to Iggy and Ella.

* * *

"I'll call Mom up then," Ella agrees.

We sit at the kitchen table, eating leftovers for dinner. I push my food around the plate and force some food down. I know Ella worries about me, but she doesn't say anything to Iggy because he can't see me not eating. It's one less thing for him to stress about, but one more thing for me to feel guilty about.

And now I lie in bed, staring into the darkness, wide awake, once again. I pull the blankets over me and shiver. It's so cold in my room, and then, maybe, I think, there's something more wrong with me than not sleeping and not eating. I close my eyes, and watch images of Max dance around in my thoughts. The day we lost her, the day I saw her again, and her funeral. Days I wish that didn't have to replay over and over again. But they do.

Sleep claims me at 3AM. No one decides to wake me up until after noon.

* * *

"Fang," Iggy mumbles. "Fang, are you ok?"

I sit up and the room spins. My head is killing me, but I tell Iggy I'm fine. He leads the way out of my room.

"Get dressed. We gotta go to one of Gazzy's film premieres. I told him no, but he said the rest of the family was coming," Iggy adds as I pass the bathroom. "Make yourself look nice, please."

I run my hand down the side of my face. Since being rescued from Itex, I had the hardest time looking at myself in the mirror. It led to neglect of shaving. Ella pops out of her room and walks right into me, standing there, rubbing my beard.

"Oh, sorry," she says and stares for a moment at me. "Hmm….You don't have to if you don't want."

I nod and go into the bathroom. It takes a while to brush my hair. I need a haircut, but the beard isn't so bad now. After I think I look presentable with only a few glances at the mirror, I shuffle to my room in search of something nice to wear.

"We rented you a tux," Ella calls from the door. "Gazzy had it sent here."

I sigh and start to put everything on. I think I might hate Gazzy right now.

* * *

We are rushed into the back door of some theater. Gazzy is inside with Nudge and Ella. He smiles at us, and I force one back. This is his night. I'm not going to ruin it.

"Thanks for coming," Gazzy beams.

Now I remember. This was the movie he had directed. It had been his big break. But I never really got to know about what happened to it because I was too busy being a drunk. Or hung over. I don't think I even know the title of it.

"Go up to the box. Get some food," Gazzy tells us. "I'll be up in a few."

I shuffle to the food they have set up. There are famous stars I recognize along with some people from the wedding. A couple of them give me nods. A few of them shake my hand. The fact that they recognize me is surprising. I order a drink. The stuff is free since I'm with Gazzy. It's going to be a long night.

* * *

**This chapter, and the next one (possibly the one after) is just to get a look inside the lives of the other flock members. Because Jeb can't just magically join Itex and find things our right away, so this is to fill time. Besides, I think Gazzy and Iggy deserve some time in the spotlight. I apologize for those of you who wish I'd just get Max back already. Haha. Thanks for reading and all the reviews.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Living in Max's Shadow-Chapter 19**

ByMyNameIsCAL

"Can I have a whiskey? On the rocks please."

The bartender hands me my drink and I walk back to my seat. Ella frowns. I was falling back into my hole of drinking. A couple people pass me, thinking I looked like someone they knew, but then they look away after I make eye contact. Eventually, I sip my drink and stare at the floor.

"Why are we here?" I mutter.

Ella sighs. "To make Gazzy happy."

And I already know that, I just need to hear someone say it.

* * *

The movie gets a nice round of applause. It's about an alcoholic, no doubt based on me, who somehow pulls himself together when it's time to save the people, like his ex-wife, who he still cared about. Interesting movie. Now I see another reason why Gazzy wants me to be here. I accept it only because I know he means no harm.

He tells a speech and talks about me, without mentioning my name. There are countless things he goes on about for ten minutes and gets another warm round of applause. I want to go home and sleep. My head hurts from watching. I've had three whiskeys over the past hour.

"Stop drinking," Iggy whispers as the producer begins to talk more about the movie.

"Why?" I scowl.

Iggy elbows me. "Because I'm not sitting in the car with you when you're drunk."

I finish what is left of my drink and close my eyes. At least my headache was gone. When I stand, the room is spinning. Ella grabs my arm and leads me out. I really hope I don't look drunk because I don't feel drunk. My head is just spinning. Damnit, Itex. I hate you.

They get me to the car and Gazzy meets us outside. He thanks us for coming out. It took over an hour to get here and I wasn't thrilled about going back home. At least I can sleep in the car. Gazzy is staying to chat up the stars. We're taking Angel back to the apartment tonight. I wish she would stay with Gazzy so she didn't have a whole hour and a half to read all my thoughts.

"Fang, how are you feeling?" Angel asks as I lean my head against the window.

"Like shit," I answer honestly. There's no point in lying.

I feel sick. The coolness of the window seems to calm me down a little bit. We need to get my head checked out, but that would have to wait until tomorrow. Another night of pain would be no different from any of the others.

* * *

"I'm not sure what they did to you, Fang." Dr. Martinez sighs. We sit in her office, looking at the scans of my head.

I close my eyes as pain seems to rip through my brain.

"The only thing there's left is to go to the hospital," she tells me.

I don't want to go, but at this rate, it's obvious I need help. Major help. They take me to the hospital where Mom knows some people. At least the testing runs smoothly. Waiting to get out is the hardest part. Hospitals, as you all should know, make me jumpy. They still remind me of the school, even though being locked up in cages had happened so long ago.

"Nerve damage."

I blink at the neurologist.

"There's not much I can do but give you some medication to help with the pain," he continues when I don't respond. "Eat before you take it and no alcohol."

I resist the urge to groan. Ella gulps and begins to ask the doctor questions. I slouch into my seat.

"Here's your prescription. Call me if you have any questions. You'll have to schedule an appointment before your prescription runs out to assess what's going to happen next," the doctors informs me.

"Alright, thanks," is all I manage to say because once we get to the car, I break down crying.

* * *

I think my mental well being is in question now. Iggy and Ella are always talking about me. Not that they can do much about it. I'm sure Iggy is going to end up giving me one of his motivation talks again. And it'll work for a while. In fact, they always do. But like drugs, they only last so long where you build up tolerance, or in this case, build up less hope. You get let down too many times, and then you have to find new things to motivate yourself with.


	20. Chapter 20

**Living in Max's Shadow-Chapter 20**

By MyNameIsCAL

"She's in Antarctica."

I blink at Jeb who is wearing a cap and sunglasses. It's been three months now since Itex accepted him back. My trust in Jeb still falters. Antarctica?

"No one would be crazy enough to go there to find her," Jeb answers my expression. "I don't know how you can get there. It's totally inaccessible to anyone."

Damnit.

"Unless I take you there."

"How?" I don't understand.

"I'll take you there as if I was escorting you to the base. We have to take helicopters from the bas to the facility," Jeb explains. "I'll bring you, Iggy, and Gazzy. It'll be perfect."

I frown. "And you're going to tell Itex that you just randomly found us?"

Jeb shakes his head. "I'll think of something."

He stands and walks in the opposite direction. After a few minutes, I walk to Ella's care. I must be the bringer of bad news. Although I must always been because the past five years of my life have revolved around nothing good.

"What did Jeb say?" Ella questions as I get into the car.

"She's in Antarctica." I buckle my seatbelt. "Jeb is supposed to devise a way to get us there."

I can tell Ella isn't thrilled about this. She will not be coming with us. The days we would be gone would probably be long days for her. Not to mention that none of us actually trust Jeb. We are taking a jump, a long jump, trusting Jeb to help us get Max back. And even if he does, can we still trust him after? I doubt his relations would cease with Itex after that. It would blow his cover, and not to mention Itex would then be breathing down our backs.

Getting Max back, in simpler terms, will make life complicated for everyone but me. Not to mention bringing us back to a life of running away from Itex, unless we somehow destroy them too. My next meeting with Jeb would probably be about what happens after. But I still have another week to wait.

* * *

"He must be insane," Iggy scoffs.

We're sitting around the table for dinner. Ella somehow pulled a meal together for us.

"No way Gazzy can stop his premiere schedule to go on a suicide mission with Jeb," Iggy says.

Ella elbows Iggy. He has forgotten that we are talking about saving Max. It takes a minute for Iggy to say something. Sheepishly, he apologizes but the damage is done. I'll forgive him.

"But still," Iggy sighs. "There are flaws in Jeb's plan."

I lean back in my chair, pushing my plate of half finished food to the side. There are a few pills on my napkin, set out by Ella. I swallow them dry and close my eyes. If you ask me, they didn't really do anything for me. In fact, I really wish we hadn't gone to a doctor.

"We're meeting again next week," I tell Iggy. "Maybe you should come next time. We can sort this out."

Iggy nods, and yet, a week is so long.

* * *

We meet Jeb at Dr. M's house. Gazzy has found a break in his premiere schedule, although he isn't thrilled to be in Jeb's presence. Nudge is still off until the end of January for school. Mostly, everyone is happy to see each other. After everyone settles around the kitchen table, Jeb dishes out his plan to us.

The plan is that Jeb will take in any of us that want to go to Antarctica. The story is that he used a new brainwashing serum that Itex had invented. Basically all we had to do was pretend to be under his control until we reached the helicopter that flew us to the right place. While in the air, we would take over and break into the facility.

"That's a death mission," Gazzy immediately says after Jeb's last word.

I sigh. Gazzy was the one that would be the hardest to win over. Angel looks disappointed.

"So who's in?" Jeb asks.

"I am," I say, my voice shaking.

"Ella is gonna hate me," Iggy almost whispers. "But I promised Max I'd look after you Fang. So for both of you, I'm in."

Nudge nods. "You think I would miss the chance to find Max?"

"I'm in." Gazzy looks horrified, but Angel was smiling.

"No, I'm not going to get myself killed. You can't even trust Jeb!" He points at Jeb. "How can you trust him? Max wouldn't trust him."

"No, I think you're wrong," I say. "I think she would have risked anything and everything for me, and for you, and for all of us."

Gazzy stands, beckoning Angel to follow.

"You either agree or leave me with Fang," Angel states.

Oh, Angel, how I love your influence on people. Although I knew that she wouldn't be using her mind powers to coax Gazzy into this. He was her brother and she would never do that to him.

"Fine, then go off with Fang," Gazzy snarls. "Because he's so much better than me."

Iggy reaches for my arm, gripping it tightly, but I make no attempt to go at Gazzy. He can leave. In the end, he'll come back, hopefully.

"Well, I suggest you rest up. It'll be a long journey. You have three days." And Jeb is gone, out the door, with that last statement. He never stays in one place very long. It makes him nervous.

Angel is still staring at the door. "Gazzy, you idiot."

"Don't worry about it. He'll come back," I try to assure her.

She shakes her head. "No he honestly thinks you've gone insane."

I gulp, trying not to let Gazzy's rejection hurt me. Angel didn't need me to hear me speak to understand.


	21. Chapter 21

**Living in Max's Shadow-Chapter 21**

By MyNameIsCAL

Fish shows up at the apartment in the morning. I'm a mess. Gazzy's rejection had really messed with my head. Iggy lets Fish in as I sit on the couch. I realize I'm hungover, once again. Iggy must have bought me beer last night so I would shut up. Ella enters the room, startled by Fish.

"This is Fish," I say hoarsely.

"Hi," Fish says, anxiously. "I remembered the way you drove here. I didn't mean to follow, but I had to find a way back into town. But I was wondering, are you going after Max?"

I nod.

"Because I want to help."

"I can't put you in danger. You just got out," I tell him.

He shakes his head. "It's the least I can do since you rescued me."

I pause. Fish shouldn't get involved with us. Our trip to Antarctica is going to be somewhat of a suicide mission. I do not want to be part of his death. I shake my head.

"Well, if you won't accept my help, then please let me tell you something," he responds. "Itex is growing. Max is everything they are. They will stop at nothing to protect her. I don't know what you're doing, but you have to be careful and be prepared."

"We're going to Antarctica," I say.

He looks shocked. "I heard that's where all the big things happen. You'd be walking into a death trap. Let me come."

Iggy catches my attention and shrugs, giving me the decision to accept Fish's help or not.

"Alright, but you can back out at any time you want," I agree. "I can't put you in danger, but we need help." Help because Gazzy was being an asshole.

Fish smiles. "So, when do we head out?"

"Give me your number. I'll call you with the information."

He scrawls his cell number on a piece of paper. Iggy lets him out and we sit, in silence, wondering why Fish wanted to help us.

* * *

The day finally comes when we meet Jeb. Fish, as promised, tags along with us. His presence is not questioned. The only thing we must do is only listen to Jeb. Supposedly, we are brainwashed. Jeb was the only one that could control us.

"Once we arrive at the airport, we'll load you onto our private jet. It will be cramped. Just you guys, me, and the pilot. We'll land to refuel a couple of times. Once we reach the base in Alaska, we switch to the helicopters. After we're in the air, we'll demand control of the helicopter and bring it to the headquarters ourselves. Anything after that is up to you guys," Jeb informs us as we get into the car. "I'll rush in, playing dumb. We get Max and get out as fast as we can."

"How are we going to get back to the US?" Iggy asks.

Jeb pauses. "There are a number of ways out. We can get a plane, a boat, or helicopter back to the base and take the plane back."

I know the plan had its flaws, but no one says anything else, so we're off, to the unknown.

* * *

"Dude, Jeb, Man, I thought that the brainwashing crap didn't work," the pilot said to Jeb.

"It does. In exchange for the right serum, I get my hands on Max," Jeb answers. "Can we hurry up already? This is big. This is beyond you and your piloting skills."

"Yeah, yeah," the pilot rolls his eyes. "Make them sit. I'll be taking off in a moment."

The cockpit door slams shut behind the pilot. Jeb motions us to the seats. There are two rows on each side. I sit next to Iggy. Nudge and Angel sit together. Fish sits alone.

"Behave yourselves," Jeb says loudly, as if he were giving us orders.

I nod and he disappears into the cockpit.

"Whatever happens, if one of us has to go, it's going to be," I tell Iggy in a whisper.

He shakes his head. "If we get Max, she's going to need you."

"Ella needs you too. You still have a whole life ahead of you, even if we fail," I insist.

Iggy frowns. He thinks I'm crazy. In fact, even I think I'm crazy. After some thought, he says, "It won't ever come down to that, ok?"

"Yeah, of course not." But I have a sinking feeling in stomach that this isn't going to be as easy as Jeb thinks it is.

* * *

We stop several times before we finally see the ocean. This is the longest stretch of the flight. Jeb comes out every now and then to check on us. He says that we would be stopping on an uncharted island to refuel in a few hours. Around lunch time, he gives us some food.

"There's more in the cooler he." Jeb points to the cooler. "More drinks too. Bathroom is in the back."

He leaves us again. Right now, Jeb doesn't seem like such a bad guy now. I take a bite out of my sandwich. Fish is looking out the window. I wonder if he's ever been in a plane before. How long had Itex had him?

"Fang, can you unwrap my sandwich?"

I turn to Iggy, who is fumbling with the wrapping around the sandwich. I take it and peel back the plastic wrap. Iggy thanks me and starts to eat. I'm not sure if I'm hungry or not. The anxiety is eating away at me. I try not to think about being in a plane too much, especially one this small.

"You unfortunate people that can see," Iggy jokes. "I don't quiet get that claustrophobic feeling."

I roll my eyes and avoid looking out the window. Thank god Iggy has the window seat.

* * *

**Thanks for being patient. Updating has been hard. Lots of stressful school work. New updates, sooner hopefully, rather than later. Reviews would be appreciated. Check out my newest fanfic _Second Chances?_ if you've got the chance. Once again, thanks for reading!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Living in Max's Shadow-Chapter 22**

By MyNameIsCAL

They hustled us off to the helicopter quickly. It was one of those military helicopters. We were strapped in and watched them load boxes of weaponry on. The workers spoke a foreign language. The pilot from the plane was also going to be transporting us to the main headquarters.

"I'll stay back here," Jeb shouted over the roar of the helicopter. "Gotta watch the stuff!"

"Good I don't wanna bring another man onboard! The load will be too heavy!" The pilot closed the doors. Jeb strapped himself in, giving me an encouraging smile.

"It's so cold here," Iggy muttered.

I hadn't noticed. The anxiousness had made me immune to everything else.

We're up in the air for about a half hour before Jeb signals to make our move. Quickly, Jeb and I unbuckle ourselves and open the boxes which hold the guns they were supposed to be transporting.

"We're approximately one mile from the base," Jeb whispered as we handed a gun to everyone. "I don't like guns, but we can't let them be one up already."

I nodded. Max wouldn't have approved of guns, but what choice did we have?

"We'll try to land it out of sight. There's a storm that's gonna blow through, but quickly. It'll give us enough time to go in and get out, using the storm as cover to get in and out," Jeb explained.

I turned to the others. "Whatever happens, you get Max out."

They nodded, slowly. Jeb and I busted open the door to where the pilot was.

"Hey! What is this?!" the pilot growled at us.

I ripped his helmet off and dragged him out of the seat. Jeb pointed the gun to his head. "Don't move."

I knocked the pilot out with the end of my rifle. Jeb took controls and landed the helicopter. All was going smoothly.

"There's an old tunnel that you can enter through the old drainage system." Jeb opened the doors to the outside. "Once we get in, I can't help you."

"I just follow it?" I asked.

"Yup. Follow it until you reach a door. Bust it down and get Max and get out. I'll stay here and wait for you," Jeb replied.

And we were off.

* * *

---Max's POV---

The alarms sounded as one of the guards gave me my dinner. He placed my food in the cell and ran off, leaving the cell door to close automatically. Normally, there would be another guard waiting, but he had run off at the sound of the alarm. I slipped out. Although I was in the middle of Antarctica. I don't think I was going to get very far.

There aren't any guards around. I figure out this section of the place pretty well. Taking a left, I headed towards the only exit I knew.

* * *

---Fang's POV---

We've infiltrated the building now. The alarms are blaring. We split into groups. It's Fish and me, and Iggy with Angel and Nudge.

"There they are!"

Gun shots are fired as we ducked into another hallway. I've already lost sight of Iggy and the others. I hoped they were ok.

But we were already at a disadvantage. Heavy ski jackets didn't exactly make it easy to run and maneuver in. Fish fired a few shots at the oncoming guards. Unlike me, he wasn't afraid to open fire.

"C'mon," Fish motioned.

I followed him. Apparently he knew something that I didn't. This place was a maze. All the hallways looked the same. It was like Itex had cloned the guards too. Every guy Fish shot down looked the same. Were they even human? Maybe they were at some point. I tried not to think about it too much.

"STOP NOW!" More guards came out of this door that just opened.

We ducked behind some boxes. Fish must have had some previous experience in shooting a gun because he was very fast. I let him pick off the guards, but they just kept coming and coming. They were clones. There was no way Itex had this many people who were willing to do this.

"Give me your gun and ammo," Fish insisted as he reloaded. "Find Max. Don't worry about me. I'll hold them off."

I didn't protest. Fish had come here for revenge, not to find answers and not to find anyone. For him, if he died here, he would have died doing what he wanted to do.

"Thank you," I told him. It was the least I could say.

He shook his head. "Go. And if I never see you again, thank you for getting me out."

"Don't say that."

"Go!"

My legs carried me away from Fish, against my own will. I was running down hallway after hallway. There were guards, yelling. The firing from Fish and the mini army of guards was now too far away to be heard. And that's when I ran into something, or someone.

"Oh shit," I swore, falling backwards.

"Oh my God. Fang!"

I sat up and stared. Max.

"She's escaped!" There was a guard at the opposite end of the hallway.

Max helped me up. "C'mon."

And how we ran, faster than I have ever ran in my life. It was exhilarating, but terrifying at the same time. I led the way, looking desperately for Fish. We were running towards the sound of shooting. The mini army was gone. That wasn't a good sign.

But Fish was gone.


	23. Chapter 23

**Living in Max's Shadow-Chapter 23**

By MyNameIsCAL

"Damnit!" I scream.

Max looks lost.

I want to drop to my knees and cry. If it weren't for Max, I might have just done that to put an end to all my misery. We had come too far for me to do that.

"Fish," I say slowly.

"You know Fish?" Max asks me.

I don't answer her question and lead her towards the way out.

As we ran down the hallway, we drew closer to more gunfire. Iggy and Nudge were firing. Angel was ducked behind some boxes.

"Iggy! Nudge!" Angel shouts over the noise. "Let's go they're here!"

Somehow the blind one gets a few shots at the guards as we start to run. They chase us. I take up the rear, Max in the front with Nudge. Fish cannot be dead. I couldn't accept that.

"Fang!"

I turn around, making the biggest mistake off my life. Fish is in a headlock from one of the guards. I stand there, like an idiot, and they fire at me. The first one hits me square in the chest. The second shot catches me in the side. By the time I get hit again, I'm numb.

"FANG RUN!" Fish pleads. "PLEASE! As one last favor. Thank you for everyt—"

And then they shot him, just like that. Somehow I was still standing. Fishes words still echoed in my head and I turn to run after the others, hoping I'll make it without passing out.

"Fang hurry up!" Iggy is standing at the door of the helicopter. "They're coming after you!"

I jump into the helicopter and Jeb takes off immediately. We had to get out of here before the storm got bad. Max hits me with a hug and I put my arms around her. I feel weak.

"Fang," Max is crying. I feel tears run down my cheeks.

My knees buckle and all my weight is on Max now. She steadies me, helping me to sit down.

"Oh jeez," Angel murmurs.

"What?" Iggy questions.

Max unzips my jacket. There was no way you could tell that I was bleeding unless you could see under my jacket. The holes from the bullets were barely visible.

"Oh, Fang," Max looks like she's going to cry more.

"Hey, we didn't come all this way for you to die." Iggy stands over me. "Don't give up. We'll get you help."

I might have laughed if I wasn't in so much pain. We were in Antarctica. The nearest hospital must be hundreds of miles away. Max starts to apply pressure, but it's already too late for that. I would bleed out before we could even call for help.

* * *

---One Week Later, Fang's POV---

I wake up to a room filled with sunlight. There are flowers on the table next to my bed. It smells like a hospital, and it probably is one. I'm breathing through an oxygen mask. Did I survive or was that all a dream?

Someone walks in. It's Gazzy. What was he doing here? He drops his drink and it splatters on the floor. "I'm…I'm sorry."

I blink at him and then shake my head.

"Max is getting food," Gazzy picks up his cup and tosses it. "She'll be back soon. I'll go tell her you're awake."

I nod and he cleans up his mess before he leaves.

Max bursts into the room a few minutes later.

"Fang, they thought you weren't gonna make it." She was tearing up again. I was going to start crying if she cried again. "But I told them you would."

I take her hand and squeeze it. Talking wasn't really an option.

Before Max can say anything else, the doctor comes in and ushers her out. She lets go of my hand at the last possible second. I want nothing more than to get out of here and spend every last moment with Max.

* * *

**I know it's short. I didn't want to kill Fish, but I did. And by the way, this is nowhere near the end. Well, at least I think that's what I'm planning.**


	24. Chapter 24

**Living in Max's Shadow-Chapter 24**

ByMyNameIsCAL

---Fang's POV---

The doctor examines me.

"You got shot three times," the doctor tells me. "Twice in the chest and once in the stomach. You're a lucky man. We lost you twice on the operating table. We had to get blood from your friends. Yet after the operation, you just seemed to recover so quickly. It's amazing."

I blink at the doctor.

"Just the lungs and ribs left to finish healing. You'll be good as new," the doctor adds. "There are no signs of damage left to your stomach. You're lookin' ok too. I'll let your friend back in now."

He pats my arm and stands up, heading towards the door. Max came back in, the radiance of her smile seems to light up the room. She sat on the edge of the bed, brushing the hair away from my face. I smile back at her, or at least try to.

"Oh, Fang, I'm so sorry," Max whispers. Her fingers stop right beside my left eye. "Fang…"

I take her hand.

"We're gonna get you out of here soon," Max says softly. "I promise."

Tears run down her cheeks.

And that's when it happens, just as I lift my hand to wipe her tears away. An explosion. Max is blown backwards. I sit up, even though it hurts.

"Max!"

Iggy stumbles into the room. There's fire around us.

"Iggy!" Max shouts. It's a small moment of relief.

"Max! We gotta get out of here!" he shouts. "There's Itex people swarming this place."

The others join appear in the room. Nudge and Angel come through what's left of the doorway.

"Someone go find an oxygen tank!" Max orders. "We'll meet…"

She trails off. We have nowhere to go. There was no way I could fly out either.

"Iggy," Max starts again. "I'll get Fang out of there. We'll meet you at Mom's house."

Iggy hesitates. "Alright."

He runs after the others.

* * *

My arm is slung over Max's shoulders. We're trying to make our way through the hospital. It's crawling with the injured. People are crying out for help. I'm holding the oxygen mask over my face and Max is holding the oxygen tank, trying not to let me fall over.

"Shit," she mutters. "We can't get out of here without Itex chasing us."

I can barely support my weight as we move down the stairwell. We duck in and out of doors. Itex guards are here, acting as police. It's chaos here. All these people dead or dying because of us. It made me want to stop trying, but I couldn't.

We finally reach the first floor. Somehow we slip pass everyone, unnoticed, to the outside. Max drags me into the closest car. It looks old and beat up, but it will have to do. She puts the oxygen tank and the device it's attached to first before helping me in. Even with the oxygen, I feel like I can't breathe.

Max hotwires the car and takes off. There are Itex guards approaching us, but she floors the pedal and they are forced to move. Even the brainwashed guards know when to quit.

"Find the signs for the highway," Max says.

I lean my head against the window and pull the mask off, wheezing. "Max…I…Can't…Read."

Max looks confused. No one explained that to her. I certainly could not talk, so she sighs and keeps driving.

"They didn't tell me everything, did they?" Max speaks after a while. "They told me Itex kidnapped you and that you've been falling apart since I supposedly died. But I get the feeling they aren't telling me everything."

She knows I won't say anything and continues. "Ella and Iggy got married. Gazzy refused to come help you. They all gave me details about themselves, but none of them told me much about you. Fang, what are they hiding?"

I close my eyes. They had neglected to tell Max that I was a drunk. The fact that none of them could fess up hurt me a little. Max is going to hate me when I tell her.

"Yeah, I know, I won't make you talk," Max adds. "But, Fang, god damnit, I'm really glad you're ok."

If only she knew everything.

* * *

We arrive at Dr. M's house around dinner time. Max wakes me up and helps me out. She helps me into the house.

"Put him in the guest room down the hall," Dr. M tells Max.

Ella and Iggy assist Max. The bed coaxes me into sleep, and so slumber consumes me.

* * *

Iggy is sitting in a chair next to the bed when I wake up. It looks like he didn't sleep at all last night. I clear my throat.

"Fang?" he asks.

I pull of the oxygen mask. "Yeah."

"We didn't tell Max anything," he whispers, leaning in.

"I know," I reply, bitterly.

"Hey, I'm sorry," Iggy frowns. "But do you really want her to know that you've been running around drunk for the past five years?"

I sigh. Lying to Max was the last thing I want to do. I take a breath through the mask and then speak again. "I'm not lying…To her."

"You're a good man, Fang," Iggy smiles now.

"I want to be the one to tell her," I manage to say.

He nods. "Alright, as you wish. I'll tell her, if you want."

I shook my head and Iggy leaves just as Max comes in.

* * *

**First chapter of 2010 for me. I hope you all have a happy and healthy new year.**


	25. Chapter 25

**Living in Max's Shadow-Chapter 25**

By MyNameIsCAL

I haven't the slightest idea what to say to Max and it gets harder and harder every day as I start to crave a drink. She needs to know, but I'm afraid to tell her. Every time I think I'm going to fess up, I backed away. At least I'm done recovering now from getting shot at. Being stuck in bed was torture. Especially when all I could think about was what to tell Max.

Jeb interrupts our dinner. Without any warning, he just bursts through the front door and into the kitchen.

"Itex," he wheezes, out of breath. "Is a government operation."

"What?" Max drops her fork.

"They're after me," Jeb takes a seat in an empty chair. "Now that they know I've betrayed them. I can't say they'll come after you. You've already proved to cause too much trouble. Where's Gazzy?"

"Not here," Angel says. "Why?"

Jeb closes his eyes, an expression of pain on his face. "Where is he exactly?"

"Probably at a movie premiere," Iggy answers.

"Someone needs to find out exactly where he is and get him here. It's not safe for him to be alone." Jeb is panicking.

"He's in Phoenix." I remember hearing him talk to Iggy when we had gone to see his movie. "I'll go see if I can get him to come home."

"He doesn't answer our calls," Ella informs me. "I wanted to tell him about Max, but every time we try calling, he won't answer. It's going to be hard Fang."

"Let me come with you," Max says.

I shake my head. "You stay here. If Itex people are there, they'll want you back."

Ella tosses me the keys. "Take my car."

* * *

Phoenix is about an hour away from Dr. M's house. I speed down the highway, hoping there were no cops around to see me. By the time I get to the theater where the premiere is, people are filing into it. I park down the street and run back to the theater.

I'm out of place in the crowd. They are all dressed up and I'm in black jeans and a black shirt. I have no choice but to push through the lines and hope security doesn't grab me before I could reach Iggy.

The people I push grumble, one of them shouts, but I push my way inside. They were checking tickets at the theater door. Gazzy was probably in there already.

"Hey!"

I turn around.

"I know you. You were Iggy's Best Man."

"Yeah, I was." I don't have time for this.

"Is he here?"

"No, actually, I'm looking for Gazzy."

"Come with me."

I follow the man through the theater doors and to the front. Gazzy is there, waiting at the podium and chatting with a couple men.

"Hey, Gazzy!"

Gazzy turns to face us. He frowns when he sees me.

"Fang, what the hell are you doing here?" he questions, almost accusing.

"Gazzy you need to come with me. It isn't safe here. Itex is after us," I try to explain. "It's government operated. They're after Jeb. We gotta get out of here and go someplace safe."

But Gazzy laughs. "Fang, you're crazy."

"I'm not crazy," I growl back.

"And so you gonna tell me that you got Max back too?"

"Gazzy, we got her back, I swear."

He laughs again. "Get out of here before I send security after you."

"We've been calling you. All of us," I continue anyway. "Gazzy, why wouldn't you believe us? Are we not good enough for you?"

Gazzy hesitates. "Go home, Fang. Go live your fairytale away from me."

"Gazzy, what the hell are you talking about? Max is at Mom's house!" I'm pleading now.

"Well," Gazzy lowers his voice. He knows I'm right. "I'll be home after we're done here."

"You need to come now!"

"No, Fang, I don't."

He was making me angry now. "You wouldn't have that stupid movie without me."

Gazzy has no response to that. There's a crowd around us now. I turn away and push through the people who are trying to gather around.

"I'd be better off without you!" Gazzy shouts after me.

I resist the urge to turn around and charge at Gazzy. Instead I keep walking toward the car. My next stop is the first liquor store I can find.

* * *

It's late by the time I get back to Dr. M's house. The fact that I even made it home amazes me. I've got a bottle of whiskey in hand as I stumble up onto the porch. Iggy is the one that opens the door.

"Damnit, Fang." He grabs me by the arm and forces me into a chair.

I was laughing, for some reason.

"Shut up or Max will hear you," Iggy hisses. "Where's Gazzy?"

I take another swig from the bottle. "He's at his premiere. Refused to come home."

"Stop drinking," Iggy makes a blind grab for the bottle and I pull it out of his reach. He uses the table to steady himself.

I was still laughing. "Yeah, said I was crazy. Iggy, do you think I'm crazy?"

"No," Iggy sighs.

After downing the rest of the bottle, I laugh for another second before I remember the one thing that upset me the most. The one thing Gazzy had said that I would never forget. "And then he said he'd be better off without me."

That's when the tears flow.

"Fang…" Iggy pulls a chair out and sits next to me.

"I think he's right," I sob.

"No, he's not," Iggy assures me.

I'm not thinking straight anymore. I threw the bottle against the wall, watching it break into thousands of tiny little glass pieces.

"Look at me!" Grabbing Iggy by his collar, I throw him to the ground. "What have I become?!"

"Fang, calm down," Iggy begs.

I punch Iggy and then drag across the floor, through the glass, and pound him into the wall. He manages to pull me to the ground as he falls. I land, sitting in the dust and glass, crying.

"Fang…" Iggy is still holding me by the arm. He doesn't know what to say to me.

I slump forward. Iggy tries to steady me, but we're left there on the ground, me crying into his shirt.

"Shhh…" Iggy whispers. "You're gonna be alright, Fang."

And I cry some more. Neither of us can get up. I'm too drunk and Iggy's too weak to push me off.


	26. Chapter 26

**Living in Max's Shadow-Chapter 26**

By MyNameIsCAL

Ella is the first person down to the kitchen.

"Oh, jeez," she's lost for words. I really screwed up this time.

She pulls me off of Iggy and I slump against the wall. Nudge and Angel are the next ones to crowd around my pathetic mess.

"Max is coming," Angel whispers, as if she's said something forbidden.

Reality suddenly rushes back. Ella kneels down next to Iggy. It took me a while to focus on everything. When I realize Iggy's blood is all over me, I feel sick.

"What happened?" Max appears behind Nudge and Angel. I wish she didn't have to see me like this.

I try to stand, but only manage to fall back again.

"Ella, I swear I'm fine. It's just my nose," Iggy mutters.

Max looks to me for answers, but I can't find the strength to say anything.

"C'mon let's get you to bed." Angel breaks the silence and motions Nudge to help her. I pass out on the way to the bedroom.

* * *

Max sits on the bed, waiting for me to wake up the next morning. She touches my forehead, wiping the hair away from me eyes.

"Max…" I try to sit up, but her hand moves to my shoulder and then she lies down next to me.

"Care to explain a few things to me?" she asks quietly.

I close my eyes. "I don't really have a choice."

And then it all pours out, everything. Whatever I could remember from since the day she had supposedly died up until trying to get Gazzy last night. There was Iggy's wedding and how Ella almost killed me the night they came back from their honeymoon. By the end of it all, I felt like crying again. Without Iggy and Ella, I would be dead or dying.

Yet Max still took my hand. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" Max confuses me.

She explains herself. "None of that would have happened if I was around."

I shake my head. Now was not the time to play the blaming game.

There was a knock on the door.

"Come in," Max calls.

The door opens. Ella looks exhausted.

"How is Iggy?" I ask, my voice coming out softer than a whisper.

"He'll be fine," Ella assures me. "Gazzy just arrived a few minutes ago. Iggy told me to tell you."

I let out a deep breath. Well, there was no hiding from Gazzy now.

* * *

Max pulls my arm around her as we make our way down the hall. By the time we near the kitchen, I realize that she's supporting my weight.

"You gotta watch what you say to him," I hear Iggy say to Gazzy. "You really upset him. I think you're the one that needs to pull yourself together."

"He's unstable," Gazzy shoots back. "He needs help."

"We all need help," Iggy replies calmly. "Some of us more than others, but this could have all been avoided if you cooperated."

We enter the kitchen and their conversation stops. I sit next to Iggy and Max sits on my other side. I'm sure this is not what Max had in mind for seeing Gazzy for the first time.

"Max…" Gazzy opens and closes his mouth.

"I think you owe both of them an apology," Iggy says, leaning on the table.

"And apology? I think Fang owes you one!" Gazzy throws his hands up into the air. "You're all crazy."

Iggy sucks in a sharp breath. He looks awful. Gazzy was right, I did owe Iggy an apology, buy Iggy was trying to make another point. "We're not crazy, Gazzy. I've already forgiven Fang."

"How many times have you forgiven him?" Gazzy questions. "He hasn't changed!"

I'm waiting for Max to say something, but she doesn't. Now that I think about it, maybe it was not her place to say anything either.

"We're trying to help you," Iggy sighs. "We are trying to protect you, Gazzy. All we want is your cooperation. Itex is out there still."

"I can protect myself," Gazzy sneers.

"Then get out." Iggy says calmly.

"What?" Gazzy blinks.

"GET OUT!" Iggy slams his fists on the table and Gazzy jumps up, grabbing his jacket and leaving.

"Iggy, I'm sorry," I finally say after a moment.

"Whatever happened to Gazzy?" Iggy ignores my apology. "Fame and fortune finally got to his head. What an asshole."

"Let me talk to him," Max speaks up after a minute. "He hasn't left yet."

"Ok, go," Iggy shakes his head, but motions Max to leave.

Eventually Max convinces Gazzy to stay. He keeps his distance from us once Max lets him back in. Deep down inside, we know that we cannot leave Gazzy to fight for himself. It would be like getting Max back all over again if Itex captured Gazzy.

"I oughta beat some sense into that kid," Iggy remarks.

But Iggy closes his eyes and folds his arms on the table, resting his head on top of them. He looks sick now, and of course, it was only my doing.

"Why aren't you mad at me?" I ask, quietly.

"Because I knew Max would forgive. If she can forgive you, then I can too," he tells me. "And frankly, I think I'm losing Gazzy as a friend. I don't need to lose you too."

He stands and leaves.

* * *

**Sorry for the late update. Thanks for reading!**


	27. Chapter 27

**Living in Max's Shadow-Chapter 27**

By MyNameIsCAL

Jeb pops in and out of the house every now and then to update us. According to him, the government doesn't want more blood on their hands. When we were at the school, Itex had no help from the government. In fact, the way the government got involved was complicated. Jeb didn't take the time to explain it. He told us that Mom's house was safe because the government would not dare to touch Mom or Ella. Although Itex had ways of getting around what the government wanted.

"Itex, or maybe it's the government group running the Itex network, but they seem to have forgotten to shut off my connection with them, so I still can access information from the laptop I stole from them," Jeb tells us. "While they want all of you under their custody, they will not attack you here either. They also do not want to deal with covering anything up. As of now, they can't afford that. There is another government branch that has caught on to what's going on. Itex is preoccupied at the moment."

That was somewhat of a relief.

"So you mean I can't go out?" Gazzy inquires.

We all stare at him.

Jeb scowls. "Well I suppose if you want to make yourself an open target, then sure go out and do whatever the hell you want. I'm only giving you advice."

Iggy looks like he wants to attack Gazzy. Even Max looks a little distressed. The only person that seems totally calm is Angel, but that's only because she knows what everyone is thinking. The silence Jeb left us in was full of tension. Iggy stood and left the room. Ella follows him shortly after, Nudge tagging along after. Even Angel gets up and leaves. I want to run far away from Gazzy, but Max still sits here, so I'll sit here with her.

"What happened to you, Gazzy?" Max shakes her head.

Gazzy frowns. "You died, Max. Things changed."

He leaves Max and me in the kitchen.

"This is all my fault." Max looks like she is going to cry.

I put an arm around her, letting her head rest against my shoulder. "It's not anyone's fault."

But I know she doesn't believe me.

* * *

Tensions flare over the next few days. If I hadn't grabbed Iggy, he would have beaten the shit out of Gazzy. Iggy is mad that I stopped him, but Ella had taken my side at the time, and he knows that we're right.

"Has it always been like this?" Max questions as we take refuge in our room.

I rummage through my open suitcase and pull out the wedding album Ella had made for me. "No, let me show you something."

Max takes it from me and sits on the bed. I take a seat next to her, looking at the pictures and trying to remember. Maybe I still remember the speech I made and dancing with Ella, but the one thing that will always stand out, and make me feel guilty, was that I had spent half the night drunk.

"I wish I had been there," Max says as she reaches the end of the album.

I look away. "Me too."

"What's wrong?"

I pull her into embrace. "I don't want to lose you again."

She hugs me back. "I'm not going anywhere without you."

* * *

Against the rest of the flock, Gazzy runs off to one of his premieres.

"He wants the publicity." Iggy slumps into his seat. "But I worry about him."

Yesterday was anger, today was concern. I feel bad for Iggy. He's torn.

Ella has grown tired of the whole situation, though. "He's old enough to look after himself."

"That's what he thinks," I comment. "But I certainly don't think that I can look after myself."

I watch Ella frown, but she knows that this was me fessing up to all the wrong I had done, the pain I had caused her.

Max, always the diplomat, speaks next. "Sooner or later he'll realize where his heart really lies. He needs us and we need him."

It's funny how Max had been gone for years, but her role as leader never changed.


	28. Chapter 28

**Living in Max's Shadow-Chapter 28**

By MyNameIsCAL

Max is asleep on the couch next to me. I stare into the darkness after turning the TV, wondering when Gazzy would come home. The news coverage of the premiere was long over. It had been hours, almost.

"Go to sleep."

I look up to see Iggy walk into the room, falling with perfect precision into the armchair.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" I counter.

He lets out a sigh, exasperation mixed with exhaustion. "Gazzy isn't home yet. I'm getting worried."

"He's probably out somewhere, getting more publicity," I mutter.

But Iggy hears me loud and clear. "Ah, yes, most likely."

We sit in more silence.

"Actually Ella wanted me to check on you too," he confesses.

That isn't surprising. I probably did need watching after though.

"We didn't know Max was down here with you," Iggy adds quickly.

I brush the hair out of Max's face in the dark. "No, I understand. I oughta thank you for watching after me."

Iggy lets out a breath, unsure of what to say, but that's when we hear the car pull in the driveway.

* * *

It was almost four in the morning now. The sun would be up soon, greeting us with a new day. Sometimes I wish I could push it back and hold on to the night so I wouldn't have to get up and face life all the time.

Gazzy had been a real jerk last night. Iggy and he ended up fighting again. If Max hadn't intervened, there would be another hole in the wall.

"Do you ever sleep?"

Max startles me and I sit up, almost jumping out of bed.

"Sorry," she laughs quietly.

I lie back down, adjusting the blankets over us. "Not really."

"Well you should." She takes my hand under the blanket, locking her fingers in between mine. "Maybe you'd relax more."

I close my eyes. She was probably right.

* * *

The tension was rising between the flock and Gazzy. Now that Iggy would not talk to him, no one did. Everyone except for Max. Something bad was going to happen, though. I could feel it. Or maybe it was just my conscious being clouded by my need for another bottle of whiskey.

"I have another premiere today," Gazzy states.

The others are already leaving the table, uninterested in what Gazzy has to say.

"Where at?" Max asks.

"Hollywood," he grins.

"I'm coming with you."

Gazzy pauses. "I'm leaving in an hour. Formal clothing."

"Alright, I'll be ready then."

Gazzy nods and heads to his room.

"I'm coming with you," I tell Max.

She hesitates, searching for an excuse to make me stay here. "What are you going to wear?"

But I counter. "What do _you_ have to wear?"

* * *

Ella brings us back to her apartment, but only because she also needs things from it. She is going to lend Max a dress and I am going to use my tux from the wedding.

Max calls Jeb on the way to tell him what we are doing. She says he did not approve of Gazzy going out so often, but also agreed that we need to keep an eye on him. Hollywood is a dangerous place, after all. Nothing is always as it seems.

"I don't understand why we have to crowd around at Mom's house," Ella sighs as she packs some things in a suitcase.

"Because Itex won't hurt you or Mom," I answer.

"But I'd be with all of you."

"Yes, but they can't hurt Mom. She had ties to them and hurting her wouldn't seem right on their part. Even murderers have morals," I explain.

Ella sighs. "I just want to get a house and settle down."

"I'm sorry." It comes out automatically.

"Sorry? It's not your fault."

But for some reason, it feels like it is.

* * *

Max looks magnificent in the dress. She smiles at me as we wait for Gazzy to get the keys for his car.

"Why do you look so shocked?" Max laughs.

I fumble with my words and I end up saying nothing, still staring at her. She laughs again, easing my embarrassment.

"Yo, ready to go?" Gazzy twirls the key ring on his finger.

Max grabs my hand, dragging me to the car.

* * *

We are on a plane now, jetting off to Hollywood in Gazzy's newly purchased private jet. The pilot greets us, offering us drinks. Apparently he was Gazzy's assistant, carrying out various jobs.

"What do you have?" I question, slouching down into a seat next to Max.

"Water, soda, wine, and whiskey," he answers.

I shake my head. "I'll pass, thanks."

"I'll have some water," Max says.

The pilot gives Max a bottle and Gazzy a glass of wine before entering the cockpit and moving the plane to the runway.

"It's about forty-five minutes to get there," Gazzy says, sipping his wine. "I have to get a few things together. I'll see you when we land."

He disappears into the back of the plane.

"What's his movie about?" Max leans her head on my shoulder.

I close my eyes. "It's about me, in some sense."

"Oh." But Max seems to understand what I mean, though.

* * *

**Finally, an update. I had so much trouble trying to get the document onto the website. Sorry for the delay. Thanks for reading.**


	29. Chapter 29

**Living in Max's Shadow-Chapter 29**

By MyNameIsCAL

The plane lands and Gazzy ushers us off into a limo. The driver drops us off at the back entrance and brings Gazzy to walk down the red carpet. Inside the back room there's food. A couple of people are in there. I recognize them as Gazzy's movie buddies now. They're probably actors and producers. One of them approaches me.

"I've never formally met you, but I'm Jack Thomas." He shakes my hand. "Gazzy says the character I play has a lot to do with you."

I want to run far away, but I stand there and answer. "Yes, I suppose that's true. I think you did a wonderful job with your performance."

He smiles. "Well, thank you."

I nod.

"Well, I look forward to working with your friend again. He's a brilliant director. Not to say he's got talent in many other fields."

"I'm sure he would be glad to hear that."

Jack chuckles. "I bet he would. Well, help yourself to the food. I'll be around if you have any questions."

He smiles again and leaves Max and I.

"Well, that was awkward," Max chuckles.

I take her hand and lead her to the food. We grab plates and take some. There's a bar in here too. I make a note to stay away from that.

Gazzy enters the room about a half hour later. He eats a little and then shows us our seats. Like every premiere, he must make his same speech. Max and I sit in the balcony, Jack Thomas behind with a few other people from the movie.

We can the crowd for suspicious looking people. I already got a bad feeling about this place, like something imminent was going to happen.

Max put her hand on my arm. "Relax a little. You look like you're ready to jump out of your seat."

I lean back in my seat, staring at the crowd. There was a couple, probably a celebrity couple, whispering to each other in the front row, probably arguing about something. There was a TV reporter sitting in an aisle seat, making conversation with an actor who I remembered played a vampire in some movie. Maybe Max was right. I did need to relax a little bit.

Gazzy appears at the podium, his speech ready. The crowd gives him a warm round of applause. When the clapping dies down, he starts. I survey the crowd again, looking for those who aren't paying attention. Max, on the other hand, seems very amused by Gazzy's speech. When he reaches the part when he talks about me, I stare at the floor.

"He says the same thing every time," I mutter.

Max gives me a sympathetic look. The movie finally starts after some more rambling from Gazzy. I find myself reciting movie lines until Max elbows me to stop. And that's when somebody from the audience stands and walks out quickly. My eyes follow them until they disappear out the door.

"Did you see that?" I ask.

"See what?" Max frowns. "Stop being paranoid."

A number of things happen at the same time now. The curtains behind the balcony are pulled open and a man in a tux walks in. He grabbed Jack Thomas and thrusts him to the side of the balcony. Max and I both stand.

"Don't any of you move!" The man in the tux shouts.

Everyone's attention is on us now.

That's when Jack Thomas is thrown over the balcony. I jump over the railing and unfurl my wings, grabby Jack just before he can fall onto someone below. Max is now throwing punches at the man above.

"We need to get everyone out of here," I say to myself.

"Jesus Christ you just saved my life!" Jack exclaims as we land.

"Where does Gazzy usually sit?" I question.

"Um…Front row usually."

I run. There are two men running to the front row too. I have to beat them. We can't let them take Gazzy. How did I know this night was going to be a disaster?

"Gazzy!" I shout. "GAZZY!"

Gazzy isn't out of touch with his fighting skills. He deals with the first attacker swiftly with a roundhouse kick to the gut. I reach him just in time for the other man to knock him out. It's my turn to fight. Although the man couldn't be a man. He was too strong for a human and too quick. Eventually, I took off in the air and kicked him in the face. Jack was kneeling on the ground next to Gazzy now.

"We have to go," I tell him. "Follow me."

Max lands next to me and we rush out to the closest doors. I now realize that all the men attacking were clones. Except for that one who attacked Jack, none of them had been in the audience. They were like the soldiers in Antarctica.

"STOP!" One of the clones jumps in front of us.

I look back. There are more clones behind us. The only thing left to do is fight.

"Jack, just make sure none of them get to Gazzy. Scream if they get near you," I say.

Max and I hurl ourselves at the clones. They seem to pour out of nowhere. It was like the Matrix. It didn't take much to kill any of them, but they were big in numbers. Too much time had passed since I had fought like this.

"Hey!" I heard Jack shout. "THEY'VE GOT GUNS!!!!"

I turn. One of the clones had a gun, pointing it at Jack.

"No!" I run towards them, diving and grabbing the clone by its legs. It shoots, but I manage to knock it out before it can shoot again.

"Are you ok?" I ask.

Jack nods.

I pick up the gun. The clones are closing in on us now. Max is having trouble keeping the clones on her side back. On impulse, I begin to fire the gun. That's when the clones start to flee.

"C'mon!" I lead the way down the hallway. There was a lot of screaming and shouting. I never thought Itex would pull a stunt like this. Jeb was wrong. They aren't trying to lay low or capture us without hurting civilians.

They're out to kill us and anyone who got in their way.


	30. Chapter 30

**Living in Max's Shadow-Chapter 30**

By MyNameIsCAL

The FBI already has barricades outside of the theater. People are making a mad dash to the line, trying to escape the clones. An agent spots us and ushers us over. He pulls out a gun, pointing behind us.

"Run!" The agents shouts. "Run!"

Jack and Max are holding Gazzy. Max was barefoot now, her heels lost during the fight in the hallway. I can hear someone running after us and the cocking of a gun. I had about two seconds to react. As we reach the police line, I grab Jack and Max, pushing them to the ground as the clone behind us fires. The FBI agent fires twice and the clone drops.

"You alright?" I breath out sharply.

"Yes, fine," Max replies.

I stand, my legs shaking.

"Fang, are _you_ ok?" Max asks.

The paramedics are already ushering Jack and Gazzy to ambulances.

"I'm fine," I insist, but I feel light headed.

"Do you know how many people are left in there?" The agent asks me.

I put an arm around Max, mostly to keep myself standing. "I don't know. It was chaos…I can't say I remember now. I mean those men attacking us…They all look the same."

"That's what we've been hearing from everyone. We think they're part of some secret organization that does human experimenting."

Well, at least Jeb wasn't wrong about that. The government really was chasing itself.

"You mean Itex?" Max frowns.

"Why, yes," the agent nods.

"And you know that they're being helped by the government," she adds.

The agent hesitates. "Yes, we do know. Why do you know that?"

"Because Itex experimented on us," I tell him.

His eyes widen.

"Fang…" Max mumbles.

"You have no idea what Itex is capable of." I ignore Max. "They've been after us for a while."

"Are there more of you?" The agents questions.

"Yes."

"Come with me." The agent leads us to the back of the car, allowing me and Max to sit on the edge of the trunk. "I'll be right back."

Max waits for the agent to leave. "Fang, are you ok?"

I close my eyes. "Yeah, I'm fine."

I pull off my blazer and drape it around Max's shoulders. "You must be cold."

She touches my chest. "Fang is that _blood_?"

I look down. "Oh…"

* * *

I wake up in a hospital bed, but this place isn't a hospital. Max is sitting next to the bed, her hand loosely holding mine. I squeeze it and she opens her eyes.

"Fang," she looks relieved.

"What happened?" I look around the room.

"Well you got shot when we were running."

"Oh, right." Now it all makes sense. "Where are we?"

"Some FBI place. They promised me protection in exchange for Itex information," Max explains. "Ella, Mom, Iggy, Angel, and Nudge just got here half an hour ago. As we found out tonight, we're not going to be safe at Mom's house anymore."

I take a minute to process that. Are we finally getting the help we've needed all these years? Possibly. Maybe. I hoped.

"You should sleep," I insist. "Where are the others?"

"We're in some military bunker. They have rooms for us. Most of them have settled down already," Max replies.

She didn't want to sleep though, not as long as I was awake. In fact, we spent most of the next few hours talking. She tells me that Gazzy was ok and that Jack Thomas was also here. Itex had threatened him once and risking letting him go was a bad idea, even he agreed.

I scoot over on the bed, allowing Max to sit next to me now. She was still wearing my blazer, but she had clean clothes now underneath it. We owe Ella a new dress now, I think to myself.

"Mom brought some clothes for you," Max addressed my new shirt. "I figured you'd rather clothes than a hospital gown."

"Thanks."

Max shrugs.

And then there was silence, both of us slipping into slumber.

* * *

I'm still weak the next day, but it's a combination of the blood loss and exhaustion. Max has to help me out of bed and down the hall to a room that had been made into somewhat of a cafeteria. FBI agents ate, some together, some separate. The agent that had questioned us last night greeted us, pulling tables together so everyone could sit together.

"I never got the chance to introduce myself to you," the agent says to me. "But I'm Agent Bentley. I'm running the operation against Itex. The other agents here are only the most trusted agents I have. If you need anything, ask them. They'll be happy to help."

"Alright, thank you." But I'm weary of being here.

Max helps me into a chair. Food is brought over to us, but I don't have much of an appetite. I pick at my food, pushing things around like the child I am inside, scared and afraid. At least there was no alcohol here to tempt me.

"Where's Gazzy?" I suddenly notice he isn't here.

"He didn't want to eat," Nudge sighs. "Jack was talking to him when I tried to convince him to come. I think he's afraid you'll tear his head off or something."

"He'll come around, eventually," Iggy assures us.

Ella looks less than thrilled to be here. Mom, well it isn't easy to tell what she was thinking. She knows this is for our safety so she won't complain. Angel is listening to thoughts, as always. I got the feeling we would be here for a while. It isn't going to be fun.

* * *

I had my time to rest, but now Agent Bentley gathers the flock together in a meeting room. He passes around water and soda. It's cramped in here. Hopefully claustrophobia wouldn't set in too soon. I'm close enough to lean on Max for support. The chair I had didn't have a back.

"So let's start from the beginning," Agent Bentley beings. "How did you all end up at Itex?"

Oh, it was going to be a long day. As if yesterday hadn't been long enough.


	31. Chapter 31

**Living in Max's Shadow-Chapter 31**

By MyNameIsCAL

It's mostly Max speaking. None of us take it lightly that we have to remember that our parents sold us or had been lied to about our births. She tells him about Jeb and how we escaped. The story makes me feel old. It feels like that had happened years ago. When Max reaches the part about her "death", Iggy takes over. I had never been much of a leader after Max "died". Iggy did a wonderful job of taking over. We leave out the part about my alcoholism, but tell Agent Bentley how Itex kidnapped me. Max then continues with her story. They had done a lot to her. The fact that she hasn't changed much surprised me. Now I know why we looked to her as leader all those years.

"But you can still see?" Bentley motions to my eye.

"Yes," I answer, stiffly.

The agent leans back in his chair. We had just given him a lot of information. Everything had been voice recorded. He asks a few more questions, mostly to clear things up, and then turns off the recorder.

"We need a lot of help," Bentley admits. "I mean, you're the biggest lead we have as of now. Would you be willing to help us?"

I look around the room. They're all waiting for Max to answer, but she looks at me.

"What do you think, Fang?" Why was she asking me? She should be asking Iggy.

"We'll give you protection, anything you want." Bentley sounded desperate. "We'll keep you here where it's the safest. If you need anything, we'll get it for you."

"But when this is over," I say, "Not a single FBI agent will come near us again."

Max raises her eyebrows, but lets me continue.

"And our names, you won't release them to the public, or anything about us for that matter. I mean, Gazzy has his fame already. We've had enough of that," I add. "So if you can agree to that much, we'll help you."

"Of course," Bentley agrees.

He shakes my hand and lets us go, free to our rooms and the kitchen.

* * *

We crowd around the TV in a room to small to fit the flock, Jack, Mom, Ella, and several FBI agents. Max insists on keeping my arm around her as we stand there watching, as if I might collapse at any moment. Footage from last night blurs across the screen. The people screaming, the gunshots which I recognize as the ones fired at me.

"Tragedy struck last night at stuntman actor turned director known as Gazzy's premiere of his movie when what seemed like an army of men attacked. The star of the movie, Jack Thomas, was seen being thrown off the top balcony, only to be saved by what witnesses say looked like an angel." The reporter cleared his throat. "Whereabouts of Gazzy and Jack Thomas are unknown as of now. Whether they got out or not is still in question. The attackers, who the FBI believes are a group of terrorists that have been plotting against American celebrities, took the lives of several famous actors…"

Jack stands next to me, his head bowed in grief. Many of the people they name, if I remember correctly, are his friends and actors he has been working with for years. Gazzy looks distressed too. He had to feel responsible.

"The FBI has launched a full investigation into what happened last night. Christina Bernie is at the theater where everything took place, live, to tell us more details." The anchor disappeared.

"Christina Bernie here from the theater where last night's movie premiere of _Letting Go_, a movie about an alcoholic who struggled with his divorce and pulls through in the end to save his ex-wife, played by Jack Thomas and directed by Gazzy, the stuntman actor. During the showing of the movie, the attackers flooded in and attacked the watchers." The reporter walked around the perimeter of the yellow tape. "Multiple gunshots were fired, many people still in the hospital, and Jack and Gazzy missing.

"The bizarre thing is that all the attackers killed themselves once the FBI was able to secure the area. FBI agents are still here, collecting evidence and trying to find their first major suspects. As of now, it appears that the FBI has no definite evidence of anything. They want to be sure of what they find before the public is informed, according to Agent Bentley who we interviewed last night. This is Channel Four news, Christina Bernie here. Now back to the station…"

"What the hell was Itex thinking?" Max leads me to a chair and helps me into it. "Poor Gazzy will never forgive himself."

"They just stepped up their game," I tell Max. "If the FBI can't handle this, then Itex will continue to cruise its way through everything, funded by the government without detection."

Max shakes her head. "C'mon, let's go back to our room."

* * *

Max shows us our room. According to her, the FBI managed to claim the old bunker before it could be destroyed. Our bed is two cots that have been pushed together. I sit on it, surveying the room wall to wall. It feels very claustrophobic without walls, but I remember that this is underground.

She sits next to me, looking exhausted. I think this is the first time I've seen her like this. We stay like this in silence for a while, the same thoughts running through our heads about Itex.

"Itex is bigger than us now," Max let out a sigh. "I always thought we would defeat Itex."

I put an arm around her. It had always been that way, hoping that the flock could single handedly take down Itex without help. We had been naïve.

"Yeah, me too," I admit.

She laughs, her head resting against me. The laughter dies away, though, and we're left with only silence, the uncertainty of the future making us uneasy.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! I started a new story, called _Love is Blind_. Check it out if you have the chance. It's something different than what I usually write, but I hope some of you will enjoy it. Anyway, thanks again!**


	32. Chapter 32

**Living in Max's Shadow-Chapter 32**

By MyNameIsCAL

Gazzy has grown silent ever since watching the news. Mostly because deep down inside, even though no one wants to blame him, it was his fault for all those deaths at the theater. He's at one of the tables, alone, his head in his hands, dinner untouched in front of him.

"He's got to eat," Max whispers.

I close my eyes, wishing things would disappear for a while. "I need a beer or something."

I want Max to slap some sense into me, but instead she gets up and returns with a beer. I blink a few times.

"Well, are you gonna drink it or not?" She frowns.

I grab the bottle and uncap it. It starts with a sip and then within the next minute, it's gone. Max is watching Gazzy.

"Whatever happened to all of us?" She mumbles. "Oh, right, I died."

"I wasn't going to say that," I say, the buzz of the alcohol wasn't quite there yet. Part of me wants to ask for another beer, but I knew I couldn't.

Max shakes her head. "It's true though. Don't deny that if I were around, things would be better."

"They might have been." I lean back in my chair, my eyes wandering over to Gazzy. Deep down inside, I know things would be better if Max never had been taken by Itex.

PAGE BREAK!!

Five beers later and a couple shots of whisky, Max is dragging me to bed. I wondered if I should question why Max had let me have that many drinks or why the FBI had so much booze around.

"I'm sorry," I slur as Max helps me into bed.

Max climbs onto her part of the makeshift bed. "Why?"

"That you have to…" Hiccup. "…see me like this."

She snuggles up against me, her hand runs across my chest and rests on my arm. "I didn't have the heart to stop you."

And then we're both crying, shaking against each other, until the crying turns to shudders and we both fall asleep.

* * *

There's no doubt I'm hung over in the morning. Iggy clearly disapproves, but he can't say anything since Max had spent the whole night looking after me. According to Agent Bentley, the FBI is still trying to clean up the mess that happened at the premiere. There's not much anyone can do until they clean up. The flock doesn't like it, but at least Itex has a blockade before they can touch us.

I feel bad that Jack Thomas has to see me like this, though. I'm sure, like the character he played, Jack thought I had said goodbye to alcohol a long time ago. I make a note to apologize to him after all of this is over. He's patient, thankfully.

"I tried talking to him," Jack tells Max and me quietly. "His head is spinning. I think he just needs some time to himself so he can think things through."

Gazzy is sitting alone again. Max's gaze drifts to his direction as she says, "I'm afraid he'll do something stupid."

"Like what?" I ask, my voice hoarse. I'm still not thinking straight. "Cuz nothin's worse than getting' drunk and runnin' in the street and gettin' hit by your best friend's wife."

Max frowns. "Yes, that's exactly what I'm afraid of. That he'll do something stupid and get himself hurt."

For some reason, I was laughing. And when it hits me that I shouldn't be, I want to curl up in bed again with Max and cry.

"I'm sorry." It seems like those should be the only words I should ever say for the rest of my life to make up for what I've done.

But Max is too forgiving, like Iggy, except she doesn't admit to her annoyance. "It's alright, Fang. Things will get better."

* * *

There's not much to do except watch TV and fool around with the few venues of entertainment they have at the base. Angel and Nudge distract themselves by playing foosball and air hockey. Sometimes Max and I watched them.

But today, I sat on my bed, flipping through the book that Angel had given me for Christmas. If I concentrate on the words, they seem to piece themselves together and I can read, slower than before, but better than nothing.

"I thought you couldn't read," Max comments, entering the room.

The word I was focused on disappears into a jumble of letters. "If I try, I can make some of it out."

Max reads the title. "Where'd you get that?"

"Angel gave it to me for Christmas," I answer. "I guess it got left in the bag that Dr. M brought with my stuff in it."

"Ah," Max nods. "And why do you call her Dr. M?"

"Because I never felt I deserved to call her mom."

I don't need to explain more because she knows that I never felt worthy of seeing Dr. M as "mom" because I had lost her. Even though I had been given forgiveness a long time ago, guilt would always flood back. It was always guilt. I let out a sigh.

Max sits down next to me and lets me continue reading, but my head is full of too many thoughts that I no longer have the attention span to try, so we end up lying in bed for the next few hours in silence, staring at the ceiling hoping for things to turn out okay.

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**


	33. Chapter 33

**Living in Max's Shadow-Chapter 33**

By MyNameIsCAL

There isn't much left for the FBI to investigate at the premiere theater. They've taken a few of the clones to examine. News crews still flock the area, hoping for some good news. According to the media, both Gazzy and Jack are still missing and the FBI says they have an ongoing search for them.

"It's gonna end up being one of those government conspiracies that surface after fifty years," Gazzy mutters as we watch the news, eating dinner. "The public is being lied to."

"You should be glad that the public isn't after you," I say.

I'm not sure that Gazzy is on speaking terms with me. I don't have a problem with him, but he still has something against me. He ignores me and continues eating. I open my mouth to say more, but Max shakes her head and we continue in silence, Christina Bernie repeating the same thing she told us twelve hours ago. I hate news reporters. They irk me.

Ella throws me a sympathetic look. I get the feeling Iggy had a lot of things going through his head. Gazzy used to be his best friend. Something was lost between the years of Max's "death" and now. Jack Thomas looks surprised by Gazzy's ignorance. I guess he's just starting to realize that things never smoothed out like it did for his character in the movie. It's funny how movies make things better than they seem.

The agents that are under Bentley's operation keep their distance from us. Occasionally, one or two will talk to us. Max and I will converse with them over breakfast or lunch every now and then. I can't quite tell if they're scared of us or if it was just conflict of interest because of the job they had to do. None of them have been unfriendly whenever we needed to ask for something. Mostly, Max just wanted to get a feel for everyone here.

"As the FBI finishes up its investigation at the theater, Hollywood and the film industry is left to wonder whether it's safe for them to go out," Christina Bernie reports. "From studios to movie premieres, the police have been very busy keeping tabs on the celebrity hotspots along with buffed up security."

I shake my head. As far as I'm concerned, the celebrity population of America was safe. It's amazing that no one made the connection that the "terrorists" were really only after Gazzy. There's a loophole in the FBI's cover plan. Eventually, someone was going to point it out. But the government's always lying. It wouldn't be much of a surprise if they just fabricated another story on top of that.

* * *

Max grows increasingly worried about Gazzy over the next few days. But it's expected. She feels responsible for them. Maybe more so because I did a crappy job of watching after everyone.

"You have to sleep," I whisper in Max's ear.

She leans back a little, resting against me. "It's not like we're going to do anything tomorrow."

"Doesn't mean that you shouldn't be well rested."

Turning to face me, I can see her smile in the dark. "No, I guess not." She kisses me. "Goodnight, Fang."

"Night, Max." I answer.

"I love you."

My heart flutters a little. "I love you too."

* * *

"Eggs?"

"Sure," Max yawns, replying to Iggy.

We sit at the table Ella and Mom are at. They're sipping coffee, discussing the newspaper laid out in front of them. Pictures of Gazzy and Jack grace the front page. To the world, they are missing, but to us, Jack was perfectly fine and cooperative while Gazzy was slipping away from reality. I wonder if that's what I was like during my coma-like days of being in denial about Max's death.

"He was up late last night," Ella informs us. "Staring at the TV watching the news. I tried to make him sleep, but he got defensive and so I thought it would be better to leave him alone."

"He's torturing himself," I say.

Mom agrees. "He's lost. I'll try to talk to him today."

"Gazzy is more likely to listen to you than us." Max had given up on talking to Gazzy. "He's zombie-like. It's scary."

I stare at the table. I know how Gazzy feels. The only difference is that people really got killed because of him and Max's death was just a big practical joke to Itex.

* * *

I read the book, or at least try to, when I can focus. It's getting harder to read though. My brain is always worrying about something. Max or Gazzy or how everything was going to play out. Sometimes I would stare and watch the letters move around, mocking me.

"Give it to me."

"What?" I look up at Max.

She outstretches her hand and plucks the book out of my hands and plops down next to me, her leg pressing against mine. And then she starts reading, just like that, to me. The section she's reading is about communication. I lie there and listen until I drift off to sleep.

* * *

Finally the day comes for action. Someone on the inside has tipped off Bentley that possible political figures are meeting with Itex scientists. Since getting us agree to help them, it's the biggest break the FBI has had.

The flock waits impatiently as surveillance gets set up. Bentley is hopeful, but the flock and I know it's false hope. I already get the feeling something isn't going to go right.

* * *

**Well, my fellow Maximum Ride fans. I have completed my first reading of FANG, the newest Max Ride book by Mr. James Patterson. It was interesting and definitely keeps you reading. I cannot give away too much. You should all read it for yourself, unbiased by other people's opinions. But what I can say it will probably spawn a few more fanfics from me. Oh, and, Mr. Patterson, can you please start the next Max Ride book soon?**

**Thanks for reading!**


	34. Chapter 34

**Living in Max's Shadow – Chapter 34**

By MyNameIsCAL

**Just a note that there are a few made up "famous" people in this chapter. If their names happen to match with some real person, then it was unintended. I sorta just pulled names off the top of my head to create them. They don't play an important role anyway.**

"I can't get the cameras online."

Bentley sighs in frustration. It's easily been a half hour already.

"Bentley!" Another agents runs into the room, panting. "You need to see the news."

After a moment, we all follow Bentley to the TV where a crowd of agents is forming. They step aside to make room for us.

"America!" There's a man on the screen, face in a ski mask, holding a gun. "I stand before you today to execute some of the many people all of you look up to."

"Someone trace the feed!" Bentley orders.

The man on the screen reveals the people, pulling masks off their faces. "Here we have Senator Jeff Pint." He moves to the next person, almost methodically as if this is rehearsed. "Rights activist Jerry Cohen, religious radio talk show host Ronald Johnson, and last, but certainly not least, actor Jack Thomas."

But the masked man with the gun didn't remove the last person's mask. In fact, the real Jack Thomas stands inches away from me, in shock.

"That's not possible," Bentley mutters. "Did someone trace where this is coming from?"

"We can't, sir."

"Damnit." Bentley stares at the screen.

"So to the US government, we shall get what we want." The man points a gun at the senator and shoots. "You know what we want. Now give it to us before we harm anyone else. You have twenty four hours before we do this again."

There are three more shots and the screen blacks out.

"That was just broadcasted on every single TV in America," one of the agent comments. "No one could shut it down."

"Maybe those weren't the actual people! I'm certainly not dead." But Jack knows he's in denial. The man who was supposed to be him was not unmasked.

"Gazzy!"

Everyone turns to see Gazzy drop to the floor.

"I killed them." He whimpers.

* * *

Rock bottom is not a fun place to be emotionally. Gazzy has hit that and I know how he feels. Except when I tell him that, he shakes his head and says it's not the same. He says that Max ended up being alive and those people, innocent people, are dead because of him. What can I say to that? There is no point in lying now. He would see it.

Iggy and I had pulled Gazzy into his bed earlier. He lies there even though it's already the next day and answers only when he wants to. It's frustrating.

"He'll snap out of it eventually," Max tries to assure me.

I lean on the table. "It took me almost a year and a half to even want to go out without being forced to after you died, Max."

Mom takes a seat in front of us. She looks tired. After everything she's done for us, she didn't deserve to be here, stuck with us, in our misery.

"I don't know what to say to him anymore," Mom whispers. "It's not his fault those people got killed."

"He feels responsible because he could have stayed home that night," I answer. "He sparked everything. But tell him he's not doing anyone any good by moping around in bed all day. And sure, I'm a hypocrite saying that, but he should learn from me."

Mom looks taken aback by my bluntness and then nods, understanding anyway, and stands to leave. She says she's going to talk to Iggy. As soon as she's out of earshot range, I mutter, "I need a drink."

Max frowns. "You need sleep."

"Yeah," I agree. "You're probably right."

She takes my hand and leads me to our room, settling into bed with me, curled up against my chest. We doze off for a while, our troubles poking at our dreams, seem far away.

* * *

The news is all speculation over the next few days. Jack Thomas, at least to the public, is dead. The real, very much alive Jack Thomas sits solemnly and watches the news most of the day. There's not much to do anymore. Bentley is waiting for another lead to pop up before moving operations to another place.

The real danger was organizing how we are going to be moved to another place. Itex had its way of getting information of our whereabouts still. They want us in their possession, dead or alive. We could only run for so long.

Bentley's agents eventually were able to find the place where the four men had been executed on live TV. They had brought the bodies back for examination. Besides for the fake Jack Thomas, who was really some civilian, all the others were exactly what the masked man had said. The FBI made an announcement that Jack Thomas was still "missing". The media took that and ran, saying that the terrorists could still have him.

The entire Unites States has been shaken. It wouldn't be long before public uproar starts. The FBI needs to act fast before the media gets too involved. Things are going to start falling apart, in more ways than one. I could feel it.

"Do you think things would have changed if Itex still had me?" Max questions out of the blue during breakfast one morning.

I shake my head. "Things could be worse. They'd still be after us."

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**


	35. Chapter 35

**Living in Max's Shadow – Chapter 35**

By MyNameIsCAL

I have a dream that I'm trapped, running inside some place that is full of signs that I cannot read. Panicking, I turn in another direction. There is a man with a gun, holding a gun to Max's head. The same man that killed those innocent people on public TV. I run towards them, but it's already too late.

"Fang!" Someone is shaking me awake.

"Wah…" I bolt into a sitting position.

Max is holding my arm. "You were sorta screaming my name."

I lie back down, pulling Max back with me, wrapping my arms around her. "Just a nightmare."

* * *

Max calls a flock meeting the next morning. We sit around one of the empty conference tables, everyone looking tired. Gazzy looks like he's going to fall asleep, leaning on the table.

"We're not getting anywhere being stuck here," Max tells us.

"Then what do you suggest we do?" Gazzy picks his head up for a moment.

"We go out there and bait them," Max suggests. "And we'll let a couple of agents follows us. Most likely whoever's coming after us we can get them ourselves."

"How is that going to help with anything?" I question. "Beating up a few clones isn't going to solve our problems."

"It's better than being stuck here," Iggy says.

"I agree," Nudge quickly pipes up.

Gazzy shakes his head. "I won't get to go out. With the way the news has been going, they'll recognize me. But you should go. I can stay here with Mom and Ella and Jack."

Angel shrugs. "I'm indifferent."

Max takes a moment to think. "Think about it. We can talk about this again later."

* * *

It's late. Too late for anything to be going on, but I hear something.

"Do you hear that?" I ask, my voice hoarse.

Max sits up. "No…"

And there's an explosion that sends me flying off the bed. Max is on the floor next to me now. I can smell something burning. A fire.

"What the hell is going on!?" Bentley shouts.

There's another explosion. I get up, pulling Max with me.

"MOM!" Gazzy screams. "MOM!"

"Gazzy!" Mom runs towards Gazzy, coughing. "I'm alright."

Nudge and Angel climb through the debris. The fire is concentrated at the end of the hallway. Everyone from those rooms, Nudge, Angel, and Jack are here. Except Ella.

"Where's Ella?" Iggy questions.

"I don't know," Nudge says quietly.

"ELLA!" Iggy makes a mad dash down the hallway. "ELLA!"

We start to run after him. And then Ella comes stumbling out of her room. Iggy, without hesitation, scoops her up and runs down the hallway. The fire is spreading. We need to get out of here.

Once Iggy reaches us, he lets Ella down, pulling her into a hug, looking terrified.

"I'm ok, Ig," she assures him.

Bentley has his agents together, directing them outside. We follow, quickly, almost waiting for another explosion to happen. Itex is becoming ruthless. They are going far beyond inhumane.

* * *

Bentley has no place to put us or his agents. Someone had brought the bomb inside and planted it without anyone noticing. How convenient the bomb blew up the security room. Everything important was gone.

"All those years of work…gone." Bentley slowly walks towards us, some of our bags in his hands. "This is what's left of your stuff."

Mom is the only one that thanks him.

"And to think no one can ever be trusted," he continues. "Well…I don't know what to say to you people anymore. I can't promise you protection, but I can try."

I take a quick glance at everyone. Iggy still has his arms wrapped around Ella, standing behind her. He had been really scared that he had lost her. Somewhere, in those lost and blind eyes, I could see he's still uneasy. Gazzy has this thousand yard stare, probably blaming himself for the casualties. Max is leaning against me, eyes barely opened.

"We need rest," I finally say since no one else seems to want to speak their thoughts.

Bentley pulls out a key. "Take the minivan in the parking lot. It's my personal car. Go home and stay there. I'll be in touch by tomorrow afternoon."

* * *

It's good to be back somewhere familiar. While Mom's house has been untouched for a few weeks, besides a coating of dust, things seem to be in order. Everyone shuffles off to bed as soon as we arrive.

"That was scary," Max admits as we climb into bed.

"Iggy still seems like he's in shock," I reply. "I thought that was going to be the end of us, though."

She laughs uneasily. It isn't funny, but laughing was better than discussing the reality of everything. It's better than breaking down and wondering why people can be so evil, why anyone would want to kill us that badly.


	36. Chapter 36

**Living in Max's Shadow – Chapter 36**

By MyNameIsCAL

I can't sleep.

I need a drink.

But for Max's sake, I'll fight the urge for tonight. After all, it had been so long since we had been in the comfort of Mom's home. It would be a waste to get drunk and not enjoy my time here.

The sun will be up soon. I get out of bed and pull the blankets over Max. She looks peaceful, sleeping. After a moment of watching her, I walk down the hall to the family room and turn the TV on. The news is the first channel that shows up and the remote isn't in sight, so that's what I end up watching.

It's mostly about the Itex attack. I suppose I hadn't been out in the real world for a while. The public is still outraged, hurt, and in distress over it. Jack Thomas is still dead, technically. Speaking of Jack, he's awake too, now walking into the room.

"There any alcohol in this house?" Jack mutters.

I stare at him.

He blinks a few times. "Oh, damn, I'm sorry…I forgot…"

The craving was back.

"Are…Are you ok?" Jack sits next to me. "I'm sorry, I should have known better."

I close my eyes. "There's beer in the fridge, whiskey in the third cabinet from the sink, and wine in the basement."

"No, really, I'm sorry."

"Just go."

He stands and leaves me with the TV.

* * *

"Morning," Max says, sitting next to me.

I grunt.

"What's wrong with you?"

"He hasn't said anything since I woke up," Gazzy mutters, sounding irritated.

Max frowns. I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone anymore.

And then Jack walks in. "Max, I'm really sorry."

She looks up at him. "Why?"

He scratches his head and sighs. "Well, I was really tired and I wasn't thinking, so I asked him if there was any alcohol around…I mean I totally forgot and it was wrong of me to even ask but I was just looking to calm my anxiety…"

"Fang's just being a big baby," Gazzy scoffs. "He needs to get over it. Tell him that, he listens to you, Max."

There's only silence as Max thinks of what to say. Jack looks shocked.

"What are you so depressed about?!" Gazzy is shouting now. "Max is fucking alive, sitting right next to you! You've got nothing to be sad about. If that can't make you happy then GO FUCKING DROWN YOURSELF IN A DRINK ALREADY!!"

He stands and exits the room.

"Don't listen to him," Max whispers.

And then suddenly, he's back. He throws a bottle of whiskey at me. I catch it in midair.

"Why don't you drink that!" He screams at me, taking a few steps closer. "Drink it!"

Max speaks now. "Gazzy, stop it."

He pulls the whiskey out of my hands and opens it, shoving it in my face. "Drink it!"

"Hey, Gazzy, Man that's not cool," Jack interjects.

"DRINK IT!" He's laughing now. "Or are you not even Man enough to drown yourself anymore! You're such a waste! You've caused us nothing but trouble!"

I ignore him. He doesn't deserve to be talked to.

And then Gazzy crosses the line and dumps the whiskey on me, laughing hysterically. I grab him by the collar and throw him on the floor. He's still laughing.

"Fang…" Max reaches for me.

And I collapse into her arms, sobbing.

"It's ok," she says softly. "Fang, it's ok."

* * *

Max pulls me back together and gets me cleaned up in time for Bentley's visit. Jack and Iggy had knocked Gazzy out when he wouldn't stop shouting at me.

"So, do you think you'll be alright here for the next few days?" Bentley asks nervously. "I can have an agent watch the area. We're setting up a place somewhere. It'll be up and running in a week."

Everyone minus Gazzy sits at the kitchen table, waiting for either Max or me to answer.

"Well," Max pauses for a moment. "I suppose that'll be ok."

"Alright, thanks," Bentley sounds relieved. "I'm having some food sent over later so you all have something to eat. Call me if you need anything else."

Once he leaves, we all trudge back to the family room, settling on the couches. I lie down and rest my head on Max's leg. Within seconds, I'm asleep.

* * *

I wake up sometime later, it's dark. Max and the others are talking, the TV on quietly. She has her hand running through my hair, more of a distraction for herself.

I listen to them. They don't know I'm awake.

"Gazzy is out of control," Iggy says. "I didn't want to knock him out or lock him up. But he's gonna run away or get one of us hurt, or killed."

"He's angry and lost," Angel tells us. She's probably been reading his mind. "He's confused and doesn't know what he can do. He's let his emotions take over."

Max speaks now, her hand smoothes my hair out now before she goes back to running her fingers through it. "Was it always like this? I mean, Fang and Gazzy fighting."

"No," Ella answers. "I don't understand what made Gazzy turn against Fang."

"Fame and fortune got to his head," Nudge shakes her head.

"Neither of them can go on like this." Max's voice sounds strained.

"I think Fang has dealt with things better," Jack suddenly says. "I mean, he could have killed Gazzy today."

"I certainly would have," Iggy let out a laugh.

A few more nervous laughs go around the room.

"Well, maybe things will settle now that we'll have a few days at home." I didn't know Mom was in the room.

Everyone seems to agree with that. Only because no one else knows what to do about Gazzy or me. What he did to me today hurt, like someone tore a hole through me. But no matter how mad I want to be at him, I can't. I just want him to forgive me.

For him to not be mad at me anymore.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! I've got a new story up called The Runaways. Check it out if you get the chance.**


	37. Chapter 37

**Living in Max's Shadow – Chapter 37**

By MyNameIsCAL

Gazzy is upstairs, arguing loudly with Iggy. All Iggy had done was go up there to give him food and now they're arguing, giving me a headache as if my head doesn't hurt enough.

"He's gone _insane_," Nudge shakes her head. "How could he do that to us? After everything we've been through? After everything _you_ went through, Fang?"

I half expect someone to say fame and fortune, but no one does. It was easy to blame that, but also an exhausted excuse.

"We spent five year without Itex breathing down our backs," Angel says. "He doesn't want to keep running. He thinks it's best we just let Itex get to us and we fight them."

Perhaps Angel was alluding to the fact that Gazzy is mad at everyone and not just me.

"You and Fang saved his life," Ella frowns. "He didn't even thank you."

My head feels like it's going to explode. "Enough. Gazzy will cool down eventually."

Max looks surprised at my sudden outburst, but says nothing.

The yelling stops and Iggy returns to the dinner table, pulling his chair out with anger and sitting down with a very audible _thud_.

"Ig," Ella touches his arm and he lets out a breath. "What's wrong?"

"I used to trust him," Iggy speaks, his eyes closed with pain. "He used to be my best friend. Now I feel like I don't know him anymore. I mean, even when we got into the business he changed. It was the reason I asked Fang to be my best man instead."

There's only silence now. I had never thought of it strange that Iggy didn't ask Gazzy.

We could have stayed silent for hours, but there's a crash upstairs that sends us all running out of our seats.

"Gazzy, goddamnit!" Iggy screams.

There's glass scattered all around the floor, a shadow in the distance flying away and shrinking. It was Gazzy, running away. His food is untouched on the bedside table. I move towards the window, ready to go after him, but Max grabs my arm, "Don't…Don't go after him."

We all stare at her.

"He's on his own now," she whispers. "He knows what he's doing is dangerous. He knows if we go after him we'll endanger ourselves. I don't want to let him go, but maybe he needs to go so he can get things together."

Iggy takes a seat on the bed, his hands running through his hair. "He's going to get himself killed."

No one knows what to say to him. Maybe it's because we're all thinking that too.

* * *

I don't sleep that night. Max tries to get me to settle into bed, but after she falls asleep, I slip away and down to the kitchen, opening the cabinets in search of alcohol. Halfway through my unsuccessful search, I realize that it's wrong and that I had deliberately been searching in the wrong cabinets. After a while of staring out the window, wondering how far Gazzy had gotten, I sit at the kitchen table with a glass of milk.

"My brother is an idiot."

I turn to see Angel walk in.

"Well…" I trail off, not knowing what to say to her.

"He's sorry, deep down inside, someday, he'll forgive you," Angel continues, sitting across from me. "Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

I laugh. "I never sleep."

She shrugs. "I guess you should be asking me that."

"I was going to," I admit. "But you would still ask me anyway."

I thought back to those days after Max died. I had absolutely hated being around Angel. She constantly watched my thoughts back then, insisting on spending time together. But over those next five years, some kind of friendship had been made. Enough of a friendship that didn't make me hesitate to talk to her anymore.

She gives me a small smile, almost strained. It fades away though as she says, "Something bad is going to happen?"

There's a sinking feeling my chest now. "What do you mean?"

She shakes her head. "I don't know, but I just know something bad will happen."

"With me?" I continue my questions. _Or Max?_ I think,

She thinks for a moment and shakes her head. "Not you or Max."

"Gazzy…" His name slips off my tongue slowly.

Angel shows no expression. "Maybe."

* * *

"You didn't sleep at all, did you?" Max shuffles into the kitchen past me, ruffling my hair.

I sip my coffee. "Nope."

She sighs and pulls out eggs from the fridge. "Iggy's upset about last night. I just talked to Ella in the hallway. We're in charge of breakfast."

"Maybe you should let me cook the eggs." I get on my feet and take the frying pan from her.

Breakfast turns out okay. Iggy eats quietly, chewing slowly with too much thought. After a while, he mumbles, "Well, this isn't so bad. Who made them?"

I down the rest of my coffee. "I did."

"Ah, I see." He continues to eat. Iggy was the one that taught me how to make eggs.

No one dares to mention Gazzy's name to Iggy. Even Jack, perhaps the biggest reminder we have of him. He and Angel strike up conversation after breakfast, whispering quietly about Gazzy. I wonder if she tells him her prediction of the future, but then again, maybe he won't understand.

"Can you pour me more coffee?" I ask Max.

"You haven't slept for a day!" she frowns, but gives in anyway because it's better than me asking for a shot of whiskey.

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**


	38. Chapter 38

**Living in Max's Shadow – Chapter 38**

By MyNameIsCAL

Gazzy has been gone for two weeks now. Bentley is keeping us at the house in case he comes back. So far the FBI has managed to round up a few Itex scientists. Fortunately, there have been no new attacks recently. Things are slow. It hardly seemed like it mattered whether we obeyed the FBI or not now. I guess that's how Gazzy always felt.

"This was a stupid idea, agreeing to help the FBI," I mutter to Max. "We're trapped. We can't even fly. I wish I could just go out there and spread my wings and just keep going."

"Me too," she says quietly. "But we thought we could help."

I look out the window. "We thought a lot of things, Max."

She drops her head to my shoulder. "I guess so."

* * *

Angel hasn't told anyone else her prediction and when Bentley knocks on the door at 3AM, I know it can't be good.

"I have bad news." Bentley closes the door.

"About Gazzy?" I ask.

He blinks. "Uhm, yes…How…"

I shake my head. "Just a feeling."

"Someone threw him out of a car, stabbed and beaten up. We need one of you to come to the hospital to give blood," Bentley explains in a fluster.

"Then what are we waiting for?"

He opens the door and we rush back to the car. I call Max as we speed off.

"Fang…Why aren't you in bed?" she answers groggily.

"I'm on the way to the hospital. The FBI found Gazzy," I tell her.

"Shit," Max sounds more awake now. "Should I wake the others?"

"No. Bentley says you need to stay there. Keeping the media away from the hospital is going to be hard. I'll be home soon after the doctors collect blood from me," I tell her.

She hesitates. I know Max wants to argue.

"I'll call you after I'm done," I add.

"Alright," she sighs.

"And Max?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, Fang."

* * *

The smell of the hospital crawls under my skin. Bentley leads me to a doctor. They begin to hook me up to machine to get my blood for Gazzy.

"They're paying me not to say anything to anyone or to ask questions," the doctor says quietly, "But I can't believe there are more people like you."

I wince as he sticks the needle into me.

"Don't like needles, huh?" He gives a small laugh.

"No," I mumble.

It only takes a few minutes for the machine to finish. The doctor rushes the blood out, leaving Bentley and I in the room alone.

"How bad is he?"

"Bad." Bentley doesn't lie. "I don't know how you all heal and stuff, but Fang, he lost a lot of blood. The blood, it was everywhere, all over the sidewalk."

I gulp.

"You should call Max. She's probably woken everyone by now," Bentley fills my silence. "I'll see if I can find out what's going on now. Stay here."

I dial, feeling a little lightheaded.

"Fang?" Max answers immediately.

"It's not looking good," I whisper into the phone, as if saying it any louder might jinx something.

There's no response.

"Max…" I lean my head back against the chair.

"How are we going to tell Angel?"

"I think she already knows."

* * *

It's leaking to the media that Gazzy is in the hospital. Hospital security has been turning reporters away. Now that the sun is out, reporters sit outside waiting. They know Bentley is here and they remember he's in charge of the investigation. It's obvious there's something to hide.

The doctor informs us that Gazzy was revived twice during surgery. It's still not looking good, but he was stable now and on a respirator. I sat on the couch in his room, trying to guess when Max would call again. It keeps me busy from thinking too much.

"You know, you're an idiot," I say to Gazzy even though I know he's not listening. "But I've been an idiot too. And I just think you and I need to talk and sort ourselves out. We need to get over ourselves and, I don't know, start over again and forget that you're famous and that I'm an alcoholic. Maybe, Gazzy, maybe we can help each other."

I could barely tell it was Gazzy under the blankets and all those bandages. His face bruised and cut, a tube shoved down his throat. I can't stand to see him like this. I need to get out of here.

Bentley bursts into the room, turning on the TV. The news focuses in on the outside of the hospital. At least twenty reporters are out there.

"I want to move Gazzy," he says after staring at the screen for a while.

"Move him where?" I frown.

"Anywhere, just out of here," Bentley replies.

"He needs medical treatment," I point out.

"I know," Bentley is frustrated now. "But we cannot keep him here. The media will find a way in. If Itex knows you're here, they'll attack."

"What makes you think the house is safe?"

"It's safer than here. Bombing a house won't prove a public point like bombing a hospital," Bentley counters.

He isn't giving me a choice, really.

"Your mom knows some medical stuff, right? I mean, just enough that if anything happened she could patch things until a doctor came?" Bentley asks.

"Sure, I guess so."

"Well, then, we'll move him tonight, if that's alright with you," he continues. "I'll have the doctor, the same one that treated you in the base, ready to go if anything happens."

"Alright."

"What?" He can tell I don't totally agree with this.

I need someone else here giving me guidance. This was something Max or Angel should be deciding, but I tell him, "Nothing."

And he's off to talk to the doctor.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! More soon!**


	39. Chapter 39

**Living in Max's Shadow – Chapter 39**

By MyNameIsCAL

Between Bentley and me, Gazzy is on a stretcher secured to the floor of the unmarked van we're currently riding in. It's late and Max is anxious for us to get home now.

"My wife sent me divorce papers today," Bentley says suddenly.

I don't know what to say to him, so I say, "I'm sorry."

"She doesn't understand my job. I told her that it was going to be like this," Bentley shakes his head and continues. "We should have had kids instead of waiting. Do you want to marry Max, Fang?"

I blink, but answer instantly. "Yes, I'd like to."

He gives me a half smile. "Of course now is not the right time to ask, but if you really are going to, don't wait when you feel the moment is right. And if you decide to have kids, don't push that off either."

Hesitantly, I tell him thank you. He just gives me another pained smile. Before I can even think of speaking again, we pull into the garage of Mom's house. She's waiting for us. The doctor from the hospital accompanied us here. He sets Gazzy up in one of the bedrooms, gives Mom directions of what to do, and leaves us his number in case we have any questions. Bentley's trusted doctor is also here. Once things are settled, they all leave.

"You smell like the hospital," Max says, putting her arms around me.

I hug her back, breathing in her scent. "Well, you definitely don't."

She smiles and I lean down to kiss her. For a moment, we can forget that our lives were in danger and that Gazzy was stuck in limbo. Just for a moment.

The others start to gather in Gazzy's room now that the doctors are gone. We join them, watching Angel next to him, frowning. She doesn't seem upset though, mostly because she predicted this was going to happen. Why hadn't she let me go after him that night he ran away?

She looks up at me. "You can't change everything, but you can still prevent things from happening. He would have gotten hurt either way, but if you had gone after him, things could be worse."

Max takes my hand. "You mean you knew he was going to get hurt?"

Angel nods. "Yeah, I knew."

"And you didn't try to stop him? Or talk to him?" Max presses on.

"Did you not hear why I just said?"

Max opens her mouth and then closes it.

"I'm sorry, Angel," I say, looking at Gazzy now.

"Like I said, things would be worse if you had gone after him."

Angel scares me sometimes. The things she knows, well, sometimes, they made you uneasy.

* * *

I watch Gazzy's heart rate blip on the monitors late into the night. The doctor suggested we keep him sedated over the next few days. Even though we're stronger than humans, pain hits us just the same.

Bentley spends more time around the house now. He's becoming less trusting of the other agents.

"I'm losing the investigation," he tells me one night. "I'm going to try to contact the president. If he doesn't say anything, Itex will win with another cover up."

"What about us?" I ask. "Aren't we enough proof that there's something wrong with those people?!"

"Today's world is twisted. What do you expect?" Bitterness. That's all that Bentley seemed to feel right now.

"Exactly how are you going to contact the president?"

"I know people. Why, you got something in mind?"

"I think we should meet him."

Bentley raises an eyebrow. "I guess it's worth a try."

* * *

**Sorry for a short chapter, but I feel like I'll leave it off here and continue with Bentley's plans and Gazzy's condition in the next chapter. Anyway, thanks for reading.**


	40. Chapter 40

**Living in Max's Shadow – Chapter 40**

By MyNameIsCAL

Angel seems the least concerned about Gazzy. She spends a lot of time sitting there in his room. I'm almost positive that they are communicating through their thoughts. But I guess if she seems to be ok, then the rest of us shouldn't worry too much.

Bentley is living out of the house now, keeping an eye on things. A few agents come and go along with the doctor, but his operation is over. The president will be our one and only chance, our last chance, to stop Itex and get our lives back. It's inevitable that we won't last by running away from Itex for the rest of our lives. Especially with Gazzy in this condition now.

Angel refuses to tell me anything about Gazzy. I wonder if she's hiding something, like something bad might happen to him.

Mentally, we're all falling apart.

Max and I lay on the couch. She's asleep, facing me, her head resting on my chest. I have the TV on, some action movie playing that I no longer had interest for. She had been crying before, telling me it had been all her fault that this was happening. But of course I know it's really my fault.

There's a feeling of unease going around too. No one really talks. Meals have become something that just needed to be gotten over with. Not even Nudge is up for talking. We all feel something is coming, something that might not exactly change us for the better.

* * *

We cram into Bentley's car. The president agreed to meet with us if we could get there by tomorrow afternoon. Max didn't want to leave Gazzy behind, but Mom agreed to stay there with Ella. We're hoping they'll be safe there.

"Do you really think he'll do anything for us?" Iggy asks.

"What makes you think he won't?" Nudge replies.

"What if he's in on the plan against us too? I mean the government is already involved…"

Max cuts Iggy off. "Stop it, Ig. Do you think we haven't thought of that already?"

He let out a sigh. "Well, it's not like we have any other options."

That's the end of the conversation because we're at the airport now. Bentley parks the car and leads us toward the jet. There's a man waiting there, the pilot, looking tired. It's almost midnight.

"There's coffee inside," the pilot yawns. "Good to see you, Mr. Bentley."

"Thanks for helping us out with such short notice," Bentley greets him like a whole friend.

"And how's the wife?"

Bentley freezes and then lies. "Good."

The pilot nods. "Good to hear. C'mon, let's get going now. Plane ain't gonna fly itself, is it?"

We file onto the plane and sit. There's not much to say or do but look out the window and watch Arizona pass us by as we get higher into the clouds until the town lights disappear. Max's head settles on my shoulder after a while, her eyes closed, thoughts probably filled with worry and anxiousness.

I close my own eyes and try to sleep too. I could feel a long day coming on already.

* * *

"Welcome to Washington," Bentley tries to smile.

We get off the plane. Secret Service is waiting for us there. They put us through metal detectors, but we've brought nothing with us. Bentley has to give up his gun until we leave. Not that it would matter. Our only line of defense had always been ourselves, no backup plan or second line waiting in case things fell through.

There's a tension being built that we're not really wanted around the president. The Secret Service ignores Bentley's questions. When we get there, they push us through some more metal detectors and into a meeting room where they closed the doors and locked us in.

"The president will be in shortly," one of the men tells us. "You may sit."

Hesitantly, we sit down. Max takes my hand under the table. Perhaps I'm not the only one who feels there's something off about all of this. I squeeze her hand and she gives me a quick smile, trying to be reassuring.

And then Angel's voice comes into my head, urgently, _I can't read any of the agents_.

Max glances at Angel and then meets my gaze. But there are no windows here and the doors are locked. Hopefully our senses about something being off are wrong.

* * *

**If any of you haven't noticed, this is the ONLY fanfic I've ever written in present tense and to tell you the truth, I find it very annoying. I'll admit when I get to sit down and write my chapters, this story gets pushed back unless I've got a good idea for it. Well, that's just some insight for you readers. Thanks for reading!! **

**Oh, and hey, if you get the chance, I got two new stories up over the week, "Lie Tonight" and "Cheating Death". Check 'em out if you got the chance! **


	41. Chapter 41

**Living in Max's Shadow – Chapter 41**

By MyNameIsCAL

The president enters the room, looking nervous. Something is wrong. I can already tell. The doors are closed and locked again. Max squeezes my hand before letting go.

"I've been informed of your situation," the president says, sitting down. "And I want to help, I really do."

Bentley looks relieved. "Well, that's really great, Mr. President."

He gives a smile, an anxious smile. There's a moment of silence where no one says anything. Angel catches my attention.

_They're going to kill us_.

I push Max onto the floor and duck under the table. I'm not sure what compels me to do that. Gunshots are fired around the room.

"What are we going to do?" Max asks quickly. "They have guns."

Angel is fighting with one of the secret service agents. Iggy is under the table, unsure of what is going on, Nudge next to him. An agent comes around the table and points a gun at Max. I hurl myself at him and he spins, pinning me against the wall. These men aren't human.

As soon as the agent punches me, Max pulls him to the ground and kicks him across the face. My nose is bleeding, but I ignore the blood and look around the room. Shots are being fired again. Bentley suddenly drops to the ground.

"Damnit, Bentley," I say under my breath and kneel down next to him.

He's coughing up blood already.

"Bentley, hey , stay with me," I plead.

He shakes his head.

Something hits me and I fall backwards. More gunshots and Bentley's head rolls to the side.

"And you're going to suffer the same fate!" the agent growls at me.

I picked up Bentley's gun and fired at the agent. He laughed at me and pointed the gun at the president who was about to duck under the table. There's only a few seconds to react. It's obvious the president was forced into this. He can still help us. I put myself between him and the agent. There's a gunshot. This time, things go black after it.

* * *

I wake up in some room. The flock, minus Gazzy, are in here, sitting on chairs. Max is asleep next to me on the bed I'm in. It's like a hospital, but it isn't. And then the president is here too, his back towards me, facing out the window.

I try to speak, but now I realize there's an oxygen mask over my mouth.

"They said you were going to die," the president turns to face me. "And I thought you were too. They had shot you three times, the same way they shot Agent Bentley. Yet here you are, alive. It must be a miracle."

Max moves next to me, but she's still sleeping.

"I wish I could have warned you that my secret service had been taken over by a bunch of crazed, brainwashed experiments." The president looks sincerely sad. "And I owe you my life."

I shake my head.

He points at Max. "She was the one that got you out of there quickly, after the rest of your friends beat out the other agents. I'm really sorry, about Agent Bentley. I had been following everything he's been doing and it really was an honor to meet him, to be here with you, I just wish the circumstances were different."

The president's eyes meet mine.

"Well, we're all in here for security. The FBI is going over to shut down the operation now," the president explains. "Once that's done, they can move you to a hospital closer to home. Although home is far for you, is it not?"

I nod.

"I'm sorry, it's quite too late to be asking questions. You should rest. I'll talk to you in the morning." The president turns to the window again. "But I just wanted to let you know I'm going to do everything I can to help you."

I put an arm around Max. It's cold in here. Wherever here is. And suddenly, Max stirs and sits up, in a panic. I take her hand and she looks at me, now remembering what had happened.

"Fang!" Her smile lights up the room. She gives me a hug, and then pulls her arms away as I wince. "Sorry."

I shrug.

She leans against me, closing her eyes.

* * *

The president keeps his word and gets me to Arizona as soon as the doctor clears me to go. I'm not going back to a hospital though, I'm going home.

"Mom says Gazzy is doing better," Max tells me as we sit on a private jet.

"That's good to hear," I reply, pressing my hand against my chest.

"You alright?"

"I'll be fine," I assure her.

* * *

**I'll leave you there for now. There are loose ends to tie up, especially with Jack Thomas, Bentley's death, and Gazzy. Plus, what does the future hold for Fang and Max? And honestly, I have to think about how to get through all of that. I think I sat around for an hour trying to think of a better way to end this chapter. If you have any ideas of how I should end this story, or anything I need to write before I end it, please tell me. I could use a little help! Anyway thanks for reading. **


	42. Chapter 42

**Living in Max's Shadow – Chapter 42**

By MyNameIsCAL

Bentley's death isn't a lost cause. The agents who worked with him before everything went downhill for the operation came back to work and lock up everyone involved with supporting Itex. The president himself even makes sure someone updates us on the investigation once a week or when something major happens. We can safely be at home now, trying to sort things out, trying our best to help the FBI, and watching Gazzy recover.

Jack Thomas is still here, taking refuge from the world.

"Maybe I'll go into hiding," he says as we eat lunch. "And when Gazzy gets better and we feel up to it, we'll make a movie and it can be our great comeback."

Angel smiles. "That sounds nice. I'm sure he'd like that."

I think Angel knows more about what's going to happen to Gazzy and her smile seems to radiate that the future might not be so bad after all.

I lean against Max. Pain has been fluttering in my chest, but it's gotten better since we got home. She puts a hand around my arm.

I give her a smile.

"What're you smiling about?" she asks.

I put my arm around her. "Nothin'."

* * *

It's been a few weeks now. The FBI has things under control almost. We're no longer under the supervision of agents. Things have been going smoothly. Iggy and Ella are back at the apartment now. Gazzy, he's struggling, but Angel has been helping him. We're all just trying to move on with things. Jack Thomas has his own apartment in the same building as Iggy and Ella. He's grown a beard and is taking a liking to a baseball caps.

As for Max and me, we're trying to find our own place, not too far from everyone.

"I'm worried about Gazzy," Max says.

We're parked outside Iggy's apartment.

"Me too," I agree. "Iggy said he wouldn't come to dinner. Angel says she's gonna stay with him."

"They're still at Mom's?" she questions as we get out of the car.

"Angel is trying to get him to buy a place around here and move their stuff out of Hollywood," I tell her. "It's probably the best thing they can do for now."

We're almost to the apartment now.

"I think Gazzy doesn't want to see us either," Max sighs.

"Yeah," I frown. "I know."

* * *

Jack Thomas is eating with us too. He tells us that he's been talking to Gazzy over the phone.

"He thinks the movie thing is a great idea," Jack says. "I think Angel's finally convinced him to look for a place. He wants to work on a screenplay."

"That's good to hear," Ella says.

Jack smiles. "It's exciting. He says, of course if it's all alright with you guys, that he'd try to make a movie that parallels what happened to you guys."

"That wouldn't be a bad idea at all," I say.

I'm almost afraid to look up and see Max and Iggy's expressions. Iggy had always sort of been against Gazzy's movie he directed that was based on me, but then again, I guess he knew nothing good would come of that. Although, in the news, they said that movie was going to win awards.

"I think that's great," Max chimes in.

"They gotta get a real blind actor to play me," Iggy laughs.

We laugh along with him. It had been so long since Iggy had joked about anything.

* * *

Max and I lay in bed. Iggy's snowing is audible through the walls. I'm surprised it hasn't bothered Ella after all these years.

Everyone's been worrying about Gazzy, but my mind is somewhere else too. Max and I, we're actually going to find us our own place. I mean, how long have I been waiting for this? It seems like years ago now since I ever had a craving for a drink. But now was the wrong time to start thinking of marriage. Not with everything just settling now.

I close my eyes, picturing how I would ask Max. One of these days, I had to go out to get a ring.

* * *

**Ah, you know, I think I'm going to go into Jack and Gazzy's little movie idea. The ending doesn't seem so close after all. Thanks for reading!**


	43. Chapter 43

**Living in Max's Shadow – Chapter 43**

By MyNameIsCAL

Bentley's funeral is about an hour away from Iggy's apartment. It turns out he was actually from Arizona. We meet some of the agents that worked with him. I recognize some of them, others I don't.

"Excuse me." Someone taps my shoulder and I turn.

"Are you Max?" The woman asks.

"No, I'm Max," Max says.

"Oh," the woman nods. "Uhm, well, I'm Agent Bentley's wife."

Max introduces me and we shake hands. This feels awkward. I remember what Bentley had said to me in the van weeks ago about not waiting.

"We wouldn't be here today without the help of your husband," I tell her. "We owe him our lives and I know we can't repay him, but if there's any way we can repay you…."

She cuts me off. "I never understood his compassion for going against the government. I always thought he should just leave them be. I never even got to say goodbye to him. The last thing I did was send him divorce papers."

Mrs. Bentley looks like she's going to cry.

"But now I realize that he was fighting for what was right and I'm sorry that I was so hard on him, you know what I mean?" she continues. "I think seeing that he was able to help you will give some peace though."

Max gives her a sad smile and she nods back before walking away. The ceremony was beautiful and moving, but it would haunt me for the next few days. Agent Bentley had risked his life to save us and I wish I had taken the time to get to know him better.

* * *

Some three weeks later, Gazzy shows up at dinner with Angel. Everyone is happy to see him, even I am, although he's still anxious around me.

"I've got something to share with you," he announces. "Jack and I have successfully completed the script for the movie about us."

He's got a copy for each of us. We take them and sit around on the couches, taking turns reading them so Iggy can hear. Several hours later, we have the whole thing read. A lot of us are teary. Reading that was like reliving everything that had happened to us.

"So," Gazzy breathed out. "What do you think of it?"

"I think it's amazing," Angel speaks up first.

We all agree with her and for the first time in a long time, we see Gazzy smile.

* * *

Gazzy has been busy with his movie for the past few weeks now. No one is worrying about him anymore, and that, in some ways, is a relief. Max and I have finally found our own place, about a ten minute drive from Iggy's place and Mom's house. It's a one story house, a nice backyard, and a magnificent view when the sun is setting over the desert.

Oh, and I had my ring for Max picked out.

"Iggy, can I ask you for a favor?" I say. Max is out with Ella, food shopping.

"Sure," Iggy nods.

"I'm going to ask Max to marry me," I tell him. "I want to set up something in my backyard, a romantic dinner…"

"You want me to cook, don't you?" he interrupts.

"Well, yes," I hesitate. "Will you?"

He punches me in the arm lightly, grinning. "Of course!"

* * *

Ella distracts Max by dragging her out to go look at furniture. Iggy and I are busy getting things ready back at my house. I pull a table onto the deck, candles and flowers placed around. Iggy came out with a bottle of wine.

"Only the best," he assures me.

I put it on the table. Max would be here any minute now. The plan was to ask her after dinner, during the sunset.

"You got the ring?" Iggy asks.

"Yup," I say, patting my pocket to check.

"Good, because Ella just pulled into the driveway," he smiles.

I pace around the deck, nervously. Minutes, which seems like hours, later, Max comes through the door. I wrap my arms around her and pull her into a kiss.

She smiles. "You didn't tell me you were going to have such a nice dinner planned out."

I lead her to the table and pull out the chair for her. "I thought it would be nice, with the sunset later."

She tells me about the furniture she saw, telling me she wants to get a nice couch and kitchen table. I tell her we'll go out to look at furniture again tomorrow to buy some.

"I can't believe you got Ig to cook for us," Max says, sipping the wine he picked out. "What'd you do to convince him?"

I shrug, trying to think of a lie. "I paid for the food."

That was a bad lie, but Max bought it.

"I was thinking of putting a pool into the backyard," I stare out at the empty space in our yard. "What do you think?"

She stares out too, trying to visualize it. I don't know what she's thinking, but I was thinking about our future. Maybe have a few kids.

And then Iggy brings out the food. He flashes me a grin and then leaves us to eat. I'm too anxious to focus on the food, but Max is enjoying it like it's the best meal she's ever had.

When we finish, Iggy clears the plates and I pulled our chairs next to each other so we can watch the sunset.

"I'm really glad we bought this house," Max says, leaning against me.

"Me too." I start to reach into my pocket for the ring box.

"You're right," she continues to talk, almost reading my mind from before. "We should get a pool. You know, have some kids and let them run around."

"I was just thinking that," I smile and take her hand, getting on my knee. "And while we're on that subject, Max, I was wondering, will you marry me?"

She pulls me up off the ground, the biggest grin stretched across her face, eyes tearing up in joy. "Of course I'll marry you, Fang."

I slip the ring onto her finger and lean in to kiss her deeply. We break apart just in time to see the sunset.


	44. Chapter 44

**Living in Max's Shadow – Chapter 44**

By MyNameIsCAL

**Right, people, we do remember from some twenty chapters ago that Fang is dyslexic and has two colored eyes, right? See, the one problem I have with fanfiction is that I don't do a whole lot of planning and keeping track of things. Somewhere between this story and the other nine I am currently writing, I forget things. Heh, so this is a reminder for you and me. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter!**

The past is starting to become the past now. The media has found other things to talk about, Gazzy is back to his old self, and all has been forgiven for my years of moping around. I guess the only thing left to remind me of what has happened is when I look in the mirror or try to read something. Every now and then when I'm out with Max, someone will give me a weird look. Although it's almost become normal to look into the mirror and see myself with two different colored eyes looking back. Max insists it makes me more interesting, whatever that means.

"Tell me something," I say as we lie in bed one night. "How did you last all those years being held captive?"

When Max answers, I can almost see hear her smiling. "Well, I thought about you a lot."

I laugh. "No, really."

"Well, _besides_ that," Max remarks. "I fought with the crazy scientists and clones. I'm not a quitter, you know."

"Of course not," I agree quietly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say you took things badly," she replies quickly.

"No, I wasn't thinking of it that way," I insist. "I was just thinking that I would have never survived by myself."

She takes my hand under the blankets and rests against me. "I'm sure you would have kicked twice as much ass as I did, escape, and shut them down single handedly."

Her joke makes me smile even though I know that she knows that I don't believe her. "And after that could I take over the world?"

"Absolutely!" She's running with my idea now. "And you'd be king of everything, taking me as your queen, the flock as your army, to defeat all those who oppose us."

She sticks a finger in the air and waves it around as if she was holding a sword.

"But of course we'd lead peacefully, so the few that opposed us would be vanquished easily," I add.

"And we'd live happily ever after," she finishes.

We both laugh, leaning against each other, like we were little kids. Our times of immaturity make up for the childhood we never had.

* * *

Gazzy and Jack transfer their movie to deal with humans, not because of costs for generating computerized wings, but to protect our privacy from the rest of the world. Our names have been changed too. Their script is finalized now, the only thing left is to get actors and filming. He wants us to sit and watch the auditions with him. All of us agree. The fact that Gazzy was giving us a part to help him with his movie is a huge step.

Casting had been easier for the younger kids. Gazzy always wanted to give lesser known actors a chance and finding kids who were talented and willing to do anything are easy to find. All the spots to play us as kids had been filled. As long as the movie would be, Gazzy wanted to go from our childhoods up to the point where we take down the people controlling the president. Then the credits roll and it's like those movies that tell you what happened to everyone.

"Ok, Mr. Tate Sheldon, you will be reading for the part of Jeff," Gazzy clears his throat. Jimmy would be Iggy in the movie.

"Uhm, you wouldn't mind reading them to me first?" Tate spoke up. "You see I heard about the part for Jeff and Jeff is blind in the movie. I thought it would be a good audition."

Gazzy suddenly sits up. The past few people that read for Iggy, I mean Jeff, could all see. Iggy even looks interested now.

"This is great!" Gazzy smiles. "Hey, someone read his lines to him! Fang, go stand there and read your lines."

Jack reads them slowly and we watch Tate listen carefully. I stand across from Tate and read my lines, although the character's name is Nick. Right now, in the script, I'm supposed to be hungover and depressed. It was Christmas with the entire flock and Mom and Ella three years ago.

"You've had enough to drink," Tate says as Jeff.

"C'mon, just one more!" I try to sound drunk, but nothing does it well enough than alcohol itself.

"No, F…Nick, we shouldn't have even let you drink," Gazzy interjects, reading his own part.

"I need one more!" I shout.

"No you don't!" Tate growls back. "Drinking isn't going to bring her back, Nick! For two years, it's been this way. She's gone, Nick, let go now."

Tate follows the stage directions and moves towards me slowly, grabbing me by the shoulders. "Let go because that's what she would have wanted you to do."

I blink, flashing back to when this had happened. I remember exactly what I said. "She's not dead, goddamnit! Stop telling me she is! SHE'S NOT DEAD!"

And then Tate brings his arm back, in a fist, and throws it forward, just like Iggy did that Christmas Eve three years ago. The fist stops an inch short.

"That was great!" Gazzy claps his hands. "I think we've found our Jeff, whaddya say, Jack?"

Jack laughs, grinning. "Yes, yes. I say we call it a day."

Tate has this huge smile growing on his face.

"Well, welcome to the cast of the yet to be titled movie by Gazzy," I tell him. "I'm the real Nick, by the way. And you should probably meet the guy you play."

It's the biggest step in the movie so far and Gazzy doesn't hesitate to invite Tate out to dinner with all of us.

"Were you really like that?" Max asks quietly as we walk inside the restaurant.

I shrug, putting my arm around her, answering jokingly. "Nope, Gazzy totally made that scene up."

She laughs, but only so we don't have to discuss it.


	45. Chapter 45

**Living in Max's Shadow – Chapter 45**

By MyNameIsCAL

A couple weeks later, Gazzy has his cast. I'm relieved to find that Jack Thomas will be playing me. Now that I think about it, my character in the story has a bigger part than the others. Not to mention it actually does expose the way I really was when Max wasn't around, when I was struggling. It surprises me that Max doesn't ask me more about it.

"Your tie is crooked." Max walks towards me and adjusts it. "Are you ready for dinner?"

We were heading over to some restaurant where Gazzy has booked a private room for dinner. There we would be meeting the cast of his movie, still untitled. Today he released a statement to the media that he would be filming a new movie. They were all speculating what it could be about, but none of them really knew what was going to happen. I think the way he kept things from the media amused him.

Although the media still thinks Jack is dead. The FBI did release a statement that it wasn't Jack who had been shot, but since Jack hasn't made any public appearances, it's left the rest of the world to cook up theories inside their head.

"You know, I'm thinking," Jack tells us as he walks us towards the room we're eating in. "I think that I'll make up a fake name and disappear. I'll be a one hit wonder that no one will ever hear about again. What do you think?"

"But then what will you do after that?" Max asks.

"Well, I don't know, really," Jack laughs. "Guess I'll have to figure something out."

We enter the room. So far Tate is in here, talking with Iggy and Ella. None of the actors that are in the movie are big names. As Gazzy would say, they're the stars of tomorrow. Quietly, I take a seat between Max and Jack.

The table, long and set with at least a dozen settings, fills up quickly. Nudge arrives with Angel. Their movie counterparts come a few minutes later. Gazzy wanted to find actors we could get along with. It seemed so far, so good.

"I'm glad you came," Gazzy smiles, coming to a stop next to me. "I know you're probably thinking about the script. It's not exactly the nicest portrayal of you and if you're ever uncomfortable with something in there, I can modify it."

I shake my head. "It's your movie Gazzy. As long as it's the truth."

He pats me on the shoulder. "Thanks, Fang."

I watch him walk to the end of the table, now engaging a conversation with the actor who will play him. There must be a lot of pressure playing someone that's going to be directing you. I'm glad I wasn't a movie star.

The actress playing Max, has a small part, only at the end. In fact, Max disappears for most of the movie. Her longest part was in the beginning when we're children. There's a child actor for that, but they aren't at the dinner tonight. School is still in session and Gazzy had agreed to start filming at the end of June.

Dinner begins promptly, food being served.

"Can I interest any of you in a drink?" the waiter asks. "Perhaps some beer or wine…"

Gazzy waves his hands in the air. "No alcohol. We'll stick to soda and water."

The waiter gives him a questioning look and leaves us to our food.

* * *

Max wants to start planning our wedding. We start to look into places to have it, Ella trying to help out. It wasn't long ago since their wedding, but it seemed long ago enough that I had almost forgotten about it. For me, that had ended badly.

"I want it to be simple," I admit to Max.

"I was hoping you'd say that," she grins as we flip through some catalogues. "You know, just us, the flock, Mom, Ella, and Jack."

"That sounds like a plan," I agree.

"Doesn't need much planning really." Max closes the catalogue. "You know, let's get married on the beach."

"The beach?" I raise an eyebrow. "Sure, whatever you want."

And so the beach it was.

* * *

"Max, what does that say?" I point to the instruction manual that's sitting laid out in front of me.

She bends down and looks at it. "You have to use those big screws and attach the legs to that piece of wood and then attach it to the table top."

I frown, looking at all the parts around me. Max and I had bought a new kitchen table. We had been eating dinner on the couch most nights, but the other day I spilled soda, staining our new couch.

"Alright," I sigh, taking the screws and starting to work again. "What's it say next?"

"Repeat four times for each leg," Max reads. "And then you're done."

"Is that all? There's still another ten pages in the manual," I reply.

She starts to flip through the booklet. "Unless you want to do it in Spanish, French, Italian, and Chinese."

"Right," I sigh.

She squeezes my shoulder. "It's okay, Fang."

If it wasn't for Max, I would have thrown that stupid manual across the kitchen hours ago. I refused to let her put the table together though, so something that should have taken half an hour had become a two hour struggle for me. Max didn't want to argue with me, so she had let me be.

"Speaking of Chinese food," she says after a while. "I got some food. So when you're done, we can finally eat on our new table."

I smile and go back to the table legs.

* * *

**A filler here. But there'll be some more of Gazzy's movie in the next chapter, we'll deal with their wedding, and of course, the future! **


	46. Chapter 46

**Living in Max's Shadow – Chapter 46**

By MyNameIsCAL

Our house finally feels like a home. All the furniture is in and all of our things are out of boxes. It's been a few months now and Gazzy has most of the movie finished. As busy as he is, Gazzy was still able to find someone who could give us a stretch of beach for the wedding. That would be in a few weeks.

The phone rang, but before I could decipher who the call was from, Max had already answered it. A few minutes later she appears in the kitchen.

"Gazzy wants us to watch the movie tonight," she tells me.

"Oh? It's finished?" I ask.

She nods. "Mostly. He wants to make sure it's alright with you before he shows it to everyone else."

"So it's just us watching?"

"Yup," Max nods.

* * *

The movie, it seems all too real. I want to sink into Gazzy's couch and disappear through it. Max has her hand planted in mine, teary as the movie keeps going. But I'll admit that Gazzy had nothing but the truth there. And in a way, this would show Max everything she's missed for the past five years. There isn't anything to hide from her anymore. We could get all of this out of the way before the wedding.

"Well, what did you think?" Gazzy questions nervously.

I reply stiffly. "I felt like my life was flashing before my eyes."

He laughs uneasily.

"No, it was great," I assure him. "I wouldn't change a thing. Tell Jack he was great."

"Really?"

"Really."

Max hesitates. "Fang, why didn't you tell me about all of that?"

I drag Max out of Gazzy's house so I can break down and cry without Gazzy seeing me. "Because…I didn't feel strong enough to."

She takes my hand, gently. "I'm not mad at you."

I sniffle. "You should be. I mean, I was pathetic."

I feel her wipe the tears away from my cheeks. "You weren't pathetic. I would have been the same way."

I shake my head. "No, you would have been stronger, you would have pressed on without me."

In the dark, I can see her smile a little. "You really think that? Well, then I'm flattered."

She's trying to make a joke and I give in and laugh, just a little.

"It's the past, anyway," she says, squeezing my shoulder.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay," she insists, pulling me into an embrace.

* * *

Gazzy shows the movie to the rest of the flock, Mom, Ella, and the cast and crew of the movie a week later. We were invited to watch it, and Max, having not seen the others in a while, convinced me to go.

"You don't have to watch it again," she promises me. "We'll just go to see everyone."

"Alright."

We step outside and start our flight to Gazzy's place once again. Landing, Iggy and Ella are arriving in their car. Ella gets out and hugs Max.

"Hey, how's it going?" Iggy asks as I lead the way inside. "Gazzy told me he had you and Max watch it first."

"Yeah," I sigh. "It was good, just, made me think about it all again."

"You know Max doesn't care," he reminds me.

"I know."

He punches me in the arm lightly. "Then stop your worrying."

We sit inside, Gazzy has ordered food for us to eat, and I take a plate to occupy myself as the room fills. Jack comes in, a new beard growing, having shaved the one he had for the movie.

"Hey, thanks," he says with a grin, shaking my hand. "I'm glad you liked it."

"I'm glad it was you who played me," I admit.

As soon as Gazzy turns off the lights and starts the movie, Max and I slip out into the kitchen to sit and sip coffee. We have our chairs facing out the open window, the sun fading in the distance. I put my arm around her and she leans into me, her head resting against my chest.

"There were nights," I say after a while, "that Iggy and Ella would have to come rescuing from my tab at the bar. I used to go to the same bar every night until the bartender refused to serve me. He knew me so well that he would call Iggy without even telling me he was going to. After he stopped serving me, I left and found another bar. Gazzy doesn't have that in the movie because he never saw it happen. And when Gazzy premiered his first movie, I drank through it even though he clearly made the movie about my alcoholism. And…"

Max puts a finger to my lips. "You don't have to tell me."

"But I want to," I say.

She shakes her head. "It's not important. I know you're sorry, and I know that you care about me. That's all I need to know."


	47. Chapter 47

**Living in Max's Shadow – Chapter 47**

By MyNameIsCAL

We're on the beach now, the one Gazzy was able to get us, owned by one of his big shot friends. The clouds have been in and out all day, covering the sun, but as sunset nears, the clouds are gone, and it looks like we're going to have the weather exactly the way we want it.

This is nothing fancy. It's not supposed to be. Being fancy wouldn't feel right anyway. Our live hadn't been extravagant, so why make our wedding? White folding chairs are being set up, flowers outlining an aisle that Max will walk down. We're standing at the balcony of some obnoxiously huge mansion, overlooking the beach. Ella is in awe, describing everything to Iggy. After a while, he grows tired of the blabber of the things he cannot see and pulls Ella into his arms, kissing her deeply, and I have to smile at them.

Gazzy enters the balcony, looking almost over dressed, even though he has a pair of shorts and a flowered shirt on like everyone else.

"Have you seen my sister?" he asks us.

Iggy pulls away from Ella, their hands still locked together. He responds, "Isn't she with Max?"

Gazzy nods.

"I should probably go see if Max needs anything," Ella whispers.

Iggy looks like he's watching her walk towards the door, but he's really listening. I go to the edge of the balcony and look out. It feels like I've been waiting for this moment all my life. After a while, I spread my wings.

"Where're you going?" Iggy questions.

"Down there," I said. "It's almost time."

He spreads his wings too and we touch down in the sand about a minute later. Nudge is down here already. Angel arrives, a few minutes later.

"Well, Max and Mom are on their way down now," she announces.

Everyone takes their seat and Ella comes running. There's a small round of laughter, like we've forgotten that she and Mom cannot fly. Iggy, my best man, stands next to me.

"You ready?" he laughs.

"I've been ready," I tell him.

He just grins back, and in the distance, you can see Max in white, walking with Mom towards us. The ocean sends a warm breeze and I close my eyes just for a moment to take in everything. And then Max was finally coming down the aisle, smiling at me, and I smiled back at her. She was already crying and we hadn't even made it through our vows yet.

Nothing about this was traditional. Gazzy was serving as our minister, seeing as none of us were really that religious. He slipped in a few jokes, getting everyone to laugh.

"Alright," he said, clapping his hands together. "Time for the important part! Vows, and then exchanging of rings, right? Is that how it's supposed to go?"

Max rolls her eyes, but still looks amused.

"Ladies first, Max," Gazzy grins.

She gives him the satisfaction of a laugh and she takes one of my hands. "Well, Fang, I guess we've known each other since, well, since we could remember anything. You were the one that always kept me going, that made me want to not give up. And all those years of pushing on, even when I was without you, I knew it was worth it, so I could be here today, with you."

She slips the ring onto my finger, smiling, looking like she might cry again.

"Well, then, Fang. You're turn," Gazzy says, patting my shoulder. "And you know, we've all known this was meant to be since the day we met you."

I have to laugh and then, I reach for Max's hand, meeting her eyes. And how many times have we looked at each other like that? But this time, it was different.

"I've never had a lot to say," I begin. "And you know best that I don't have to say a lot for you to understand me. So here today, let's not change anything because I love you the way you are, and I know that you love me the way I am. And hell, Max, I'm just really glad we're here today."

I put the ring on her finger.

"Alright then!" Gazzy exclaims. "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride, Fang."

With a smile, I scoop Max up in my arms, and lift her a few inches off the ground as I kiss her, her arms over my neck. Nothing ever felt more perfect than this.

* * *

**A short, but sweet, chapter, I'm hoping that was. I'm working on getting the end together. Next chapter soon!**


	48. Chapter 48

**Living in Max's Shadow – Chapter 48**

By MyNameIsCAL

I'm lying on the beach with Max now. She's snuggled against me, and we whisper to each other, listening to the waves, gazing up at the stars. The others are gone now, leaving us to ourselves.

"How many kids are we going to have?" I ask, kissing her forehead.

She closes her eyes, smiling. "Enough so they can rely on each other, in case something ever happens to us."

"And they're going to grow up and have a real childhood," I add.

"Mmm, yes, unlike us," she says, laughing. "We'll keep them away from cages."

I feel myself smile. "I can't wait until the day comes where we explain everything to them."

"Oh, yes, that'll be interesting." Max rests her hand on my chest. "Imagine what they'll tell their friends."

"Imagine what their friends' parents will think of us."

"We're not that crazy."

We fall silent for a while, listening to everything around us again. In the distance, where the sky met the ocean, there's a boat out there. Airplanes cross the night sky above. There's a room waiting for us in the mansion, but neither of us feel like going.

"Well, we've got four days here, this stretch of beach, that big empty mansion," Max speaks, her hand moving to the buttons of my shirt.

"Yes we do," I agree.

* * *

I don't quite remember how we got from the beach to the bed, but I wake up with Max resting against me, and it's hard not to smile. I wake her with a kiss.

"You hungry?" I ask.

Her eyes flutter open. "I guess…"

But I don't let her answer as I take her hand, throwing her my shirt to pull on as I lead her to the kitchen. She sits at the table as I pull out food, again, courtesy of Gazzy, knowing that neither of us could really cook. I make coffee as we wait for our bread to toast. On the side of the toaster, I catch my reflection, my two different colored eyes seem to draw my attention away from pouring the coffee. The cup overflows, but I ignore it, putting the coffee pot down and I touch my hairline where you can see the beginning of a scar.

"Fang," Max whispers, coming up behind me. I feel her arms come around my waist, her cheek pressed against my back.

"Sorry," I mutter, grabbing a towel and wiping up the coffee.

The toast pops up and Max lets go of me, putting it onto plates for us as I finish cleaning the counter.

"Does it ever bother you?" I ask as we sit at the balcony, eating.

"No," Max assures me. She makes a point to gaze into my eyes, melting my worry away. I have the urge to lean towards her and kiss her, but I won't because there's plenty of time for that later.

But she takes my hand, somehow sensing what I'm feeling. "I think breakfast can wait."

I put my coffee down, unfurling my wings. "I'll race you to the beach!"

And we're off again.

* * *

It's been great, the past few days, waking up, eating whenever we wanted, fooling around on the beach and in bed. But our four days draw to a close and it's time to head back to reality, to get back to our house, where we'd probably only distract ourselves anyway by fooling around all over again.

"I say we go get that pool built," I tell Max as we watch the towns below us go by. "And get the other rooms finished up."

She reaches to take my hand. "We're going to have to send them to school."

"Well, then I say our kids are going to have to play hooky once in a while," I joke. "They're going to end up being smarter than us."

She smirks. "No, they'll just be smarter than you."

I roll my eyes and we start our descent into our backyard.

* * *

**I know the past two chapters were kinda short, but you know, I have to find the right place to end these things so I don't seem like I spend a whole chapter rambling and then another chapter with not enough. **

**Anyway, guess it's quite obvious Max and Fang are thinking about kids right now, so you can guess what's going to happen in the future. As for the next few chapter's, it's time for the public to see Gazzy's movie. Next update should be around Saturday. I'll be away from the internet for about five days.  
**


	49. Chapter 49

**Living in Max's Shadow – Chapter 49**

By MyNameIsCAL

"I hate dressing up."

Max gives me a sly smile, pushing me up against the wall. "But you look nice dressed up."

She stands on her tiptoes to kiss me before taking my hand. "C'mon, we're going to be late."

I sigh and try to keep up with her. Gazzy's movie is being released tonight and we had to go and show our support. Besides, Max and I, well, we needed to get out and see everyone. It had been a while.

We land behind the theater where the movie is premiering. Despite what the movie industry wanted, Gazzy decided he was going to have it out here in Phoenix. He has a private box reserved for us and the rest of the flock so we didn't have to deal with the media or the crowd.

"Hey, long time no see!" Iggy nudges me in the back of the head as he takes a seat.

"But you _can't_ see!" Ella sounds exasperated. How she put up with his bad jokes was still a mystery to me.

"It's good to _see_ you too, Ig," Max replies, just to annoy Ella more.

Ella just shakes her head.

Nudge arrives a few minutes later, telling us how she made her dress just for the event. We let her go on and on about it, not having the heart to cut her off. In all honestly, I don't think any of us really have a clue about what she's saying either.

"Whaddya mean there's no alcohol?" I hear someone say from below.

"Sir, this movie has to do with alcoholism. Gazzy has asked us specifically not to serve any," another voice responds.

I let out a sigh, wondering what kind of man that was.

"Hey, what time is this thing supposed to start?" Iggy asks, distracting me from my thoughts.

I look at my watch, which is pretty useless because I know I can't read it, at least not in this kind of environment with so many people.

"Should be any time now," Nudge interjects. "Oh my God, did you see…"

And then she was off, pointing out other celebrities, talking about their clothing and whatnot. Max takes my hand and leans her head against mine.

"We should find a quiet place when this starts," she whispers in my ear.

"You don't want to watch it?" I question.

"Well, if you want to, of course I do," she replies, picking her head up.

I shake my head. "No, we should go, but we'll come back when it's over. I mean, Gazzy knows I don't want to see this for a third time."

Max nods, and her head drops back to my shoulder.

* * *

"Hey, Max! Fang!"

I open my eyes. Jeez, did I fall asleep? Max lifts her head, rubbing her eyes. "What?"

Jack Thomas stands in front of us, looking a little disheveled with his beard, but then again, he had to be wearing one of the most expensive tuxedos I had ever seen.

"What's wrong?" Max yawns.

"Have you heard from Gazzy in the past few days?" Jack asks, looking frantic.

"Well…" I trail off. "No, I guess not."

Max shakes her head. "We were on our honeymoon."

"Oh, right," Jack remembers. "Any of you?"

I turn to see Iggy and Ella shaking their heads. Even Nudge defeatedly says no.

"Wait, where's Angel?" Iggy asks after a long moment of silence.

Max lets go of my hand and starts to feel her dress. She swears and then looks up at me. "Did you bring your phone?"

I reach inside my pocket and pull it out, handing it to her.

"What time is it now?" I ask.

Jack leans against the wall, trying not to look at the railing and trying not to think about falling like he had almost fallen to his death the last time we were at a theater like this.

"He's an hour late as of now," Jack replies. "And that's not really a problem because people will be patient. But another half hour, they'll be wondering, another hour, they'll be mad, and after that, that's when things get nasty."

Max flips my phone closed. "Neither of them are answering."

I close my eyes, massaging my temples. It was hot in here and now I suddenly felt stressed out, like something was telling me there was something wrong.

"Did you call his house?" Iggy asks. "Sometimes he doesn't have his cell on him."

We wait as she dials, but I get the feeling that he won't answer.

Jack loosens his bowtie. "Well, maybe I can go appease the crowd when they start to get restless."

"How are you going to do that?" Nudge questions.

"I don't know," Jack waves his hand in the air. "Shave my beard in front of them, reveal who I am, something along those lines."

"But you're not you in the movie, you're…whatever fake name you came up with!" Nudge exclaims.

Jack laughs. "No, I'm not. We changed the credits. I'm Jack Thomas, always will be, no use in pretending. I'll be back. Someone's gotta go make an excuse for Gazzy."

We watch him disappear and appear down on the stage about ten minutes later.

"Ahem," he speaks into the microphone, clearing his throat. "Director Gazzy has been tied up in a personal family situation. He'll be here shortly."

The noise level of the crowd, which had been at a high chatter, was now a low murmur. Jack, still unrecognizable to everyone else, steps back through the curtains and reappears on our level a little while later.

"He better get here soon," Jack says, sinking into the seat next to me. "It's unlike him to be late for anything."


	50. Chapter 50

**Living in Max's Shadow – Chapter 50**

By MyNameIsCAL

Another hour ticks by. The fact that we can't contact Gazzy or Angel scares all of us. Jack Thomas has no choice but to go make an announcement again. Whatever lie he comes up with next is fine by us.

"It appears that Gazzy will not be able to make it," Jack says, loosening his collar on stage in front of everyone. "He's asked the cast to kick off the premiere for him instead. He sends his sincere apologies…"

The crowd is displeased and Jack walks swiftly off the stage. Without much warning, the lights dim and Jack makes another announcement from backstage. He announces the movie name and then, quickly, at the end, "I'll be playing Nick in the movie, so keep an eye out for me."

It doesn't take long for Jack to end up by us again. Max and I take a step out into the hallway, sitting at the top of the stairs as Jack paces back and forth. None of us can really concentrate.

"Well, I'll go fly over to his house," I offer. "If he's not there, then he must have a good reason for not being here."

"What if someone kidnapped him and Angel?" Nudge begins to worry.

"That's ridiculous," Iggy disagrees.

"I'll go with you," Max mutters.

And we go, off into the cool night of Arizona, hoping that all of this will just be a misunderstanding.

* * *

The house is dark when we arrive. There's no sign of Gazzy or Angel. When we go to the front door, there's a note.

_You're too late if you're reading this. Hopefully, Jack will just have played the movie and you're not reading this til after. But if you happen to come across this, and if you're looking for me, I'm long gone. Angel, you'll know where to find me._

_-The Gasman_

I tear the note off the door. "Do you think Angel went after him without us?"

Max takes the note. "She must have. But the where did they go?"

"Maybe Iggy knows. Let's go back to the theater," I suggest.

We take off again, double timing it back.

* * *

Iggy, out of all of us, besides Angel, knows Gazzy best. He's the one pacing now, Ella watches him, worried.

"I don't know," he mutters. "It must have been something he shared between himself and Angel. It's been a long time since he's said much of anything to me that only he would tell me."

Jack sighs.

"We're going to find him," I say, but really only to assure myself.

"No, wait," Iggy stops mid step. "Does he still have his place in Hollywood?"

I rack my brains, trying to remember. "Well, I don't remember him ever saying he sold it."

"Well, that's the only place I can think of," Iggy grumbles. "How long does it take to get there?"

"An hour if we push ourselves," Max calculates. She's probably in better condition than me.

"Then what are you waiting for?" Iggy says. "Go!"

Max and I find ourselves outside again. This time, Nudge tags along, and we leave Iggy and Ella with Jack.

"Max, you don't know where we're going," I say suddenly. "You never knew where he lived."

She drops back, leaving me to lead the formation. "I guess you're right. I…I wasn't really thinking."

For once, Nudge isn't babbling, which in some sense, can't be a good sign for anything. As we reach California, the wind picks up, and I find I'm falling behind both of them.

"Fang, are you alright?" Max asks.

"Yeah, I'm alright," I say, trying to keep up. Was I this out of practice from flying?

Nudge suddenly starts to descend and I follow, not really sure how far the ground is from us until it's right under my feet. Max grabs my arm and I have a somewhat clean landing with just a little bit of stumbling. We were behind the gates of some huge house. I forgot Gazzy owned this.

"Well, let's go," Nudge mutters, heading towards the door.

She touches the doorknob, but she doesn't turn it. We watch her lean against the door and she's shaking her head.

"We're too late," she breathes out. "We're too late."

"What do you mean we're too late?" Max asks calmly.

Nudge slides down the door. "Go in and you'll see."

Max takes my hand and turns the doorknob herself. Nudge doesn't follow us in. There has to be at least twenty rooms in this house, and we spend a good ten minutes until we find a locked door. Iggy isn't here to pick it, so we have no choice but to kick it down. When we do, we find Angel on the bed, crying next to Gazzy, who looks like he's asleep.

"Angel," Max moves quickly to the bed. "Angel, what's wrong?"

But I move slowly, like each step pained me. I have this feeling that I don't really want to know what happened.

Angel says nothing, but Max suddenly drops her head.

_He's gone,_ Angel seems to be whispering in my ear. _He…He…He killed himself._

I move to Gazzy's side now. There's a piece of paper in his hand, and I take it, his last words to us, only a page long…

* * *

**Ah, sorry I had to do that to you. Poor Gazzy. New chapter soon, I promise, as soon as I get home. Heading out to the airport tomorrow. Updates will resume as normal on Monday, possible Sunday. Thank you for reading. Ch 51 coming your way. The end is near.  
**


	51. Chapter 51

**Living in Max's Shadow – Chapter 51**

By MyNameIsCAL

_To the flock:_

_It's safe to say none of you saw this coming, and I made sure that not even Angel would be able to finger this out. And you know, I'm not going to lie and say that there wasn't anything you could have done because there was, if only I had asked for help._

_Ever since that day where Fang, Max, Jack, and I almost got killed, the day where I'm responsible for all those deaths, something broke inside of me. Something I couldn't live with. And it's not fair that I was still here when those people whose lives could have been saved if I had just backed away. I should have backed away, I just didn't know when to quit._

_This is an apology, to you Fang. For all those days I wasn't good to you, all those days I probably pushed you farther into addiction rather than pulling you out. _

_For Max, who I've only seen briefly, I wish you the best with your marriage and you should know that Fang really does love you more than anything in the world, he was the only one who didn't give up. Unlike me. So don't you dare go back to what you used to be because of me, or I'll come back from the grave to haunt you._

_Angel, my beloved sister, I know you'll be torn up that you never saw this. It took a lot of power to control what I thought about around you. _

_Nudge, in another life, you would have married Iggy. And in another life from that, I might have fallen for you and married you too._

_My will is in Arizona, locked in my desk. The key should be in the kitchen. The world will be a better place without me, and I'll miss you all dearly. If the movie bombs, tell everyone I'm sorry. But this was always a time pressed project. _

_I could write a novel to all of you, but I won't. I'll save you the trouble from going through anymore pain. _

_Love,_

_Gazzy_

_PS Tell Jack I'm sorry, that he should continue my work._

I throw the letter on the bed, angrily, and stumble out of the room. Nudge has made her way inside now.

"Where are you going?" she asks me.

"To find a fucking drink," I say.

She grabs me by the arm. "No, Fang."

I shake her off.

"You know you don't want to do that." But it's not Nudge's voice, it's Angel's.

I turn and stare at her.

"Go and comfort Max," Angel says quietly, wiping her eyes. "I need to go to Phoenix and tell Iggy."

Angel leaves, leaving me with the decision to go back to Max or find a drink. I go to Max.

"Max," I say, sitting next to her on the bed, taking the letter from her. "Max, I know you've read that at least a dozen times now."

She wraps her arms around me. "How could we be so stupid? We knew it was too fast for him and too suddenly for him to get better like that."

I shake my head. "Angel didn't even see it coming. How were we supposed to know?"

She cries against me, and Nudge enters the room, taking the note. It's not long before she's crying too.

* * *

The media flocks the house over the next few days as we try to get Gazzy's funeral together, whether we'll have a wake, or not. Jack has been a mad man, trying to help us out.

I sit in Gazzy's overly large house with Max, in the kitchen. The rest of the flock has taken refuge for the night in the other rooms, but for us, we won't sleep, and I'll be up, resisting the urge to drink, at least, in good company.

"We should hire a lawyer," I mutter, running my hands through my hair. "Someone has to deal with the media mess. I mean, their vans are lining the street and I want to be able to go outside without a picture being snapped of me."

Max puts a finger to my lips. "Jack said he'd take care of it."

I lean against the table, watching Max sip her coffee. We seemed to only be running on caffeine and whatever food Iggy cooked up in order to distract himself.

"Can you do me a favor?" I ask.

She looks down at me, her arm resting on my shoulder as she twists my hair with her fingers. "Sure, anything."

"Gazzy has all his alcohol stashed in cabinet next to the fridge," I continue. "Can you drain it all?"

Max nods and I stand, finding the couch to get some sleep.

* * *

**This story will see its end soon. I have a couple more chapters left after this one. I'll update around Friday probably.**

**If you got a chance, check out the poll on my profile page. I just ended another story and as I said, this one is nearing its end too, I need to figure out what I'm gonna put up next. I have some new stories written and I'm interested to see what you'd all like to read. Of course everything I write will go up eventually, I'd just like to put something out there first that you'd be more interested in reading first. Thanks for reading!  
**


	52. Chapter 52

**Living in Max's Shadow – Chapter 52**

By MyNameIsCAL

We sit anxiously behind a podium, waiting for Jack to come out and address the press. He's insisted that he'd do all the speaking for us, and we wouldn't have to deal with paying a lawyer, even though we could probably afford it anyway. Gazzy's funeral is tomorrow. After this, we can disappear again, fading away from Gazzy's stardom and fame.

Jack comes out, clean shaven and like him old self, looking each of us in the eye, telling us that if he says anything wrong to interrupt him, but we know he'll speak the truth for us, so none of the media will ever have to know who we really are.

"Excuse me," Jack clears his throat, leaning into the microphone. In front of us is a small TV and we can see him being broadcasted live. There's a low murmur as they seem to recognize him. "I'm here to speak on behalf of Gazzy's family. It has been confirmed that his death was suicide, an overdose of sleeping pills. The family would like to thank everyone for their condolences and prayers. It hasn't been easy for them, and it certainly hasn't been easy for me. As you all know, Gazzy was a bright and young stuntman, moving to directing over the past few years, making two movies. Both which I play a big part in. And if you're wondering what went wrong, what could have happened, then I can't say. All I can tell you, and his family would agree, go watch the movie that will be released next week. Go watch it because that's all you will ever need to know about him or his family."

Jack closes his eyes, taking a drink from his water bottle. "I'll take a few questions."

"Who are you?" Someone shouts.

Jack looks straight into the camera. "Why, well…I'm Jack Thomas."

There's an uproar, as people start asking questions about him, but now, Jack is furious. "I am here to answer questions about my friend. So if you haven't got anything to ask, then this press conference is over!"

The crowd falls silent.

"You can't tell us anything at all about why he killed himself?" Another person asks.

"Watch the movie," Jack answers. "Life wasn't easy for him, and it never was, after you go through what he has."

"Did he leave any kind of note at all?"

"Yes, but it was only for his family."

"Where is he going to be buried?"

"I can't tell you that. It's private."

"Is it possible this is a hoax, like your death, Mr. Thomas?"

Jack straightens up. "Absolutely not."

"I've seen both his movies he's directed, including the one that premiered just last week, and I know that the events do not stray far from his real personal life. Is it possible that, was it his brother that was an alcoholic, is it possible it was because of him that he killed himself?"

I feel like the world is spinning and Max takes my hand, her other one gripping my arm, like she knows that I'm no longer feeling planted.

"Gazzy loved his brother very much," Jack says slowly. "And the fact that you're accusing him would infuriate Gazzy."

There's another gabbing of questions, but Jack shakes his head. "Thank you for your time."

"Fang, c'mon," Max whispers, pulling me up.

A reporter suddenly runs up in front of me, grabbing me by the front of my shirt. "You're Gazzy's alcoholic brother, right? What do you have to say about his death and that you might have been the one who pushed him?"

Max pulls the reporter off of me, throwing him to the ground.

Jack ushers me inside, Max following quickly behind before anyone can snap anymore pictures of us.

* * *

Gazzy is cremated. With Ella and Mom and Jack, we release some of his ashes to the ocean, and then the flock and I take off, spreading his ashes from the sky, over Hollywood, Arizona, and lastly, the place where we flew with the hawks.

"Let's go home," Max says, and we head in that direction.

At Mom's house, Iggy cooks us up a meal of Gazzy's favorites. We sit and we eat until all the food is gone. It's a family gathering, although not quite the same without Gazzy, it's hard not to share a couple smiles and a few laughs. Gazzy would have wanted it that way, and hell, it was better than moping around, eating through our tears.

"Chocolate cake for desert," Iggy announces, placing it on the table. "Someone get ice cream, please."

Ella stands, making her way to the fridge, and pulls out ice cream. I help scoop it onto each plate as Nudge helps Iggy cut the cake. I watch as she guides his hand with the knife, wondering if they were thinking about what Gazzy had wrote in his letter.

"Fang, can you make coffee?" Nudge asks after she notices me watching.

"Sure," I say, giving her an apologetic look.

Angel comes over, saying she'll pour coffee for everyone when it's finished, and I let her wait by the pot because I know she needs distracting too, so I go and set out a mug for everyone at the table.

"I don't want any," Max says.

"Since when do you turn down coffee?" I question, leaving the mug there anyway.

She looks around at everyone, then back at me, and then at everybody again before her eyes meet mine. "Fang, you're going to be a father."

I blink. "What?"

"You're going to be a _father_, Fang."

And she smiles, almost like she's afraid, but as I smile back, the feeling of uncertainty is gone.

"Oh my God, that's great!" Angel suddenly says, like she's snapped out of her depressive trance.

"What's great?" Iggy mutters, letting Nudge dish the pieces of cake onto the plates.

Angel hasn't smiled since we found Gazzy that night, but she's smiling now. "Max and Fang are going to be parents.

* * *

**I couldn't stand anymore depressing things. So here's to happiness with the joy of life because life is a cycle. I betchya you can guess what Max and Fang are going to name their baby if it's a boy.**

**Thanks for reading! I think the concluding chapter will be next.**


	53. Chapter 53

**Living in Max's Shadow – Chapter 53**

By MyNameIsCAL

-The End-

It's been five years since Gazzy took his life. Five years and two months that I've been sober. Five years and four months since we got Max back. Things have been steadily getting better though.

Max and I have three kids now, another one on the way. Our first one, a boy, we named after Gazzy himself. Our next one was a girl, and we named her Val, after Mom. Our third was another boy, who we named Oz.

"What're we going to name this one?" Max asks, her hand on her stomach.

"Well if it's a boy?" I prompt.

"I say we name it after Jack," Max finishes. "What were you thinking?"

I shrug. "I don't know, Max the second?"

Max laughs. "Then if we have a daughter are we going to name her Fang?"

I shake my head. "No, of course not. We'd still name it Max."

"You just don't want to name it Fang."

"Well, who would want to be named Fang?" I laugh. "I mean, we mind as well should name our next child Tooth."

Max laughs, amused. "No seriously, we need names, Fang."

"Alright, so Jack," I say, thinking more deeply now. "And how about, let's see, how about…"

She suddenly takes my hand, placing it on her belly. "Do you feel that?"

Something bumps my hand. I smile and Max is smiling back.

"Oh, our baby is definitely a fighter," I say, kissing Max on the cheek.

She takes my hand as we make our way to the deck, our pool in sight now, Iggy and Ella's kids outside running around it with our own.

"Hey, guys," Iggy says as we step out. "Burgers or hotdogs?"

"Burgers," Max answers.

"Good because I don't have any hotdogs anyway," Iggy cackles. Still the joker he was, although I felt like they were progressively getting worse.

Angel is two years into college now, but it's summer, and she's still sweet, spending time with us and helping us out with the kids. She's always been strong too, not dwelling too much on Gazzy's death. Every now and then Max catches her crying, but usually it ends up that Angel is the one comforting us.

Nudge and Iggy haven't forgotten about each other. They still think about Gazzy's letter, from time to time, I guess. One time I caught them kissing behind the pool house. I probably should have told on them, but it would just be too much pain to go through and in the end, knew that Iggy would go back to Ella anyway because Nudge, well, she would always feel like family to Ig.

Oh, and Gazzy's movie ended up being a hit. It was hard not to say that his death had boosted ticket sales, but I'm sure that even he'd smile upon that, wherever he was now. He and Iggy are the kind of guys that would joke and laugh about their own deaths, even at their funerals.

Gazzy left everything he had to us. His money, his house…everything. We kept his house, only because we knew selling it felt wrong, but living in it just hurt too much. Angel went there sometimes, by herself. We took turns to keep it clean. Eventually, some day, it would get used, if not by us, by someone else.

"Hey, Uncle Jack!" The kids start to squeal, running towards the gate.

Jack Thomas, a little older looking, hair graying, stands there smiling, holding these bags, full of unneeded presents. He never starred in another movie, but Gazzy left it in his will that Jack needed to go through all his unfinished or drafted scripts and at least make another movie. Everything Jack touched seemed to be golden. Did I mention Gazzy's movie and it's actors picked up a couple of Academy Awards? That was a grand night, but tearful, as Jack was the one who we went to go accept the Best Picture award.

Angel had been staying at our house after moving all of Gazzy's things either to Jack's place or our basement, and her walls, which we lined with shelves, were filled with Gazzy's awards. Jack never wanted to keep them for himself, always offering them to Angel, but she would only shake her head and smile, saying that Gazzy would want to give him credit too.

Nudge arrives shortly after Jack, saying hello to Iggy, giving him a hug and she holds onto him longer than necessary and I'm thankful that Ella is distracted by Jack and the children. Although, through the grapevine, I saw it in a tabloid, that Nudge, now a fashion designer, was spotted with Jack a couple weekends ago at some restaurant together, looking very romantic. I made note to ask her later.

"Well, look at you," Jack smiles, hugging Max and then shaking my hand. "The two of you, with all your children. Gosh, Gazzy would be so jealous. He always wanted to have kids."

And sometimes, we all felt like Jack knew Gazzy better than us, and maybe it was because he did. Jack goes around, saying hello to Nudge, and I can tell he's whispering in her ear as she smiles. Then he moves to Mom and comes back to the kids, handing out action figures, probably something yet to be released for his new movie, probably the one he was talking about that Gazzy wrote up about superheroes.

Jack wasn't the only one who kept in touch with us. The other actors called us up every now and then, inviting us to dinner, or showing up at our house with stories to tell that made us smile and reminisce that Gazzy would have enjoyed it all so much. Especially Tate, who Iggy was glad to get together with almost every week. In another life, I swear, they could be twins. Like Jack, he always came around with things for the children. One of the closer human friends we had made over the past five years.

"Uncle Tate, Uncle Tate!" I hear Oz chant. It's like they haven't seen him in years, even though it was just two days ago we all had dinner with each other.

"Hey, Oz," Tate smiles, patting Oz's head.

Although Tate isn't has agile as Iggy is. Oz takes Tate by the hand and leads him over to Iggy and they start off a conversation quickly. Afternoons like this were chaos, but as things settled down in the night, it almost felt magical, especially when the kids grew tired and lay on the deck, trying to make sense of the stars. And sometimes, we'd pull out one of Gazzy's movies, Nudge would hook up the projector, and we'd sit, watching. Sometimes, it almost felt like Gazzy was with us, joking along, telling us how that stunt had almost burned all his hair off, or sometimes, if you sat and listened to everyone talk for a while, you could almost hear him laughing along.

Although we never watched his final movie, or the other movie he directed. For us, that was too painful. But late nights, with a good cup of coffee, Max snuggled against me, we would sit and watch and remember how far we had come since what seemed like lifetimes ago.

* * *

**Well, that's the end. I'm thinking one day I have to write a story when Max and Fang's kids are really involved, not just an afterthought at the end. I hope you enjoyed this. I'll admit this wasn't exactly my favorite story to write. In fact, the last five chapters, I sat down and wrote them all consecutively. But I enjoyed writing the ending. There's some satisfaction when you complete something, and hope this ending was satisfying enough for you.**

**Well, I've got plenty of other stories for you to check up on, so please do. Stay tuned for a new stories. I'll put up probably two or three new ones based on poll results. So check out the poll when you get a chance because I'll be closing it soon.**

**Thanks for reading and for the reviews. Nothing brings me more joy than sitting at my computer and seeing that people actually read my stuff. I remember when I wrote my first story, and I must have posted a couple of chapters until people reviewed. I thought about giving up, and I'm glad I didn't. Check out the poll on my profile to vote on what kind of story I'll be posting next. Once I finish "Lie Tonight", I'll be closing the poll and posting at least two new stories, so get voting! Expect that to happen in the next week or so.  
**

**Again, thank you so much,**

**}MyNameIsCAL{**


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